A few weeks ago, Heather from ThetaMom and I wrote a collaborative post on our struggles with maintaining our tribes while working as freelancers.
The dialogue it started was great, raising many more new issues than it solved!
One of the things that came up in the discussions was commenting.
I have incredible guilt that I cannot read and comment on as many blogs as I would like. Even some of my favorite reads? I haven’t been by in weeks. It kills me.
Here are a few truths about me as a blogger:
I value the relationships I’ve made through blogging so much.
I strongly believe in giving back to blogging as much, or more, than I derive from it.
I have limited time to devote to blog reading and commenting.
This has affected my traffic and comments on my own blog.
As I reflect back on the last 6 months, where I’ve been sorely lacking in the blog-reading and commenting department, something becomes very obvious to me.
I have been supportive in so many other ways to the people that matter to me…and to new friends that have crossed my path. I pride myself on being generous with my knowledge – some of it happening on my blog, but the lion’s share of it happening directly with another person, where no one can see it.
So why am I spending time feeling guilty about what I am NOT doing instead of being proud of what I AM doing?
Because our universe – the bloggy universe – doesn’t place as much importance on those things.
Commenting is the currency of blogging.
It is what we exchange to give a kudo, to say thank you, to hope for a comment in return.
It is a verbal payment for a post well written (or out of obligation, in some cases!).
The currency of commenting is no different than the Euro or the dollar.
We all would love to have a lot of money, both to spend and to give to the people or causes that deserve it.
We all would love to have lots of quality comments, and time to leave quality comments.
Those who don’t have a lot of money have to come up with alternative means of payment. Especially in periods of economic downturn, people still have the barter system to resort to. And it works well.
Those who don’t have time to comment have to come up with alternative means of paying the blogging community back, to recognizing value.
But I’m not sure those alternative means are valued as much as comments.
Can you be a supportive blogger without commenting?
That is the question I ask you, readers.
I believe the answer is a hearty YES.
IF we are brave enough to to change what we value. To say:
Our system of currency is MORE than just commenting.
We are blessed with having so many ways to support our fellow blogger and acknowledge their value! We can retweet a post. Stumble it. Share it on Facebook. Give them blogging advice. Pass on a brand opportunity. Ask for a guest post. Let them vent about their kids in an email. Collaborate with them on a project. Help them with a technical matter. Edit their writing. Share knowledge.
Collectively, we have to embrace THESE things as being examples of being a supportive blogger – NOT a one-liner comment dashed off out of obligation after skimming a post.
Quality comments should and will always have their rightful place in blogging, but isn’t it time that we open our minds and make room for other means of showing value?
I want to hear your thoughts.
We all have limited time to read and comment. What are the ways YOU can or do repay the blogging community for all it gives you?
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{ 71 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this post and I agree 100%! I know that fellow bloggers who have never been to my site have offered advice and support via Twitter and email and it’s ment as much to me as if they’d come by. Although I agree that commenting is very important, I think we should recognize bloggers that give back in other ways, too!
Gigi, a really thought provoking post. I agree with you that support is to be had in forms other than commenting, but that being the most obvious and visible I suppose.
Given that time is short however, sometimes, something’s gotta give. I try to balance out lack of commenting frequently with the other forms of support such as you mentioned above, but I think for some bloggers, they may value that less than comments.
It’s hard. Ultimately, my family is my priority, and if I have to let commenting slide a little and show support in other ways that require a little less time, then that will have to happen. I’m still struggling to maintain that balance as I really do enjoy reading and commenting, but I need to live life too.
It’s funny, I’ve been thinking so much about comments lately because my comments have gone down since summer started. I realize that people aren’t reading as much – but also I’m not out commenting as much. As a teacher, I swore I’d have so much more time to devote to reading/commenting when school was out. Didn’t happen! I do value RT’s, mentions on Facebook, etc. just as much as a comment and I hope others do as well. Even a DM – it doesn’t have to be public and I think people need to be open to that. We can pat each other on the back and it doesn’t always have to be in a public forum. Very thought provoking post! Hope your time at BlogHer was great.
i was always told the more you comment the more you will receive in return not necessarily because i comment on all the blogs i follow whether i do it a little each day or at a set time on the weekend and i don’t necessarily get a big response back in comments but i have occasionally gotten someone here and there who has stopped n looked and then emailed me a suggestion or two to help make my blog better. to me that is even more valuable then 100 comments saying great job.
My own commenting has dropped by conscious choice – I’m reading lots of peoples feeds wo leaving obligatory comments. I feel happier – this is how and why I got started w blogging – I like reading.
However I acknowledge that everyone wants to be acknowledged for their writing and as comments are easiest to count it will always be the primary currency.
Knowing that, I’m still ok with my choice. I’m as supportive as I can be in every day but at the end of the day, I have to be not miserably commenting for currency.
I’ve been thinking about this exact thing for a few months. I read extensively, but I’m only able to find time to comment on about 10% of the blogs I read at any given time. But I do try to show my support in as many other ways as possible: retweets, tweeting the link directly, sharing on Facebook, including a post in a round up of great posts, email, etc. I hope that people can see the value in that.
For me personally, I love comments of course, especially on posts that are asking for help or delving into an issue. And on those kinds of posts, I would prefer comments. But more and more I actually think that the sharing that people do of my stuff is what MY favorite currency is for most posts. To see that someone liked what I wrote enough to share it with other people? That’s HUGE. Maybe it brings me a new reader. Maybe it brings me a new comment. Maybe it brings me a new friend. That’s bigger than comments, at the end of the day.
Oh this is so true. I love comments and I try to comment on blogs when I can. I don’t do it enough, I really don’t. I agree, I would love people to share my writing more. If they aren’t bit on social networking, they might mention it to a friend via email or tell someone verbally. I have a couple readers who have been referred to my blog that way – word of mouth, which really sounds so archaic these days. But it means the same amount, more even. Thank you for reminding me of this and for getting the word out.
Usually, I at least follow them on twitter if I’m liking their posts. I am a horrible commenter, get sad there aren’t a lot of comments on mine but figure its karma for my never having time to read all the posts I want and put thoughts out on them.
First, it was great to meet you on Wednesday night in San Diego. Chatting to you briefly in person totally reinforced my perception of you as an open, supportive member of the blogging community.
But you’re right. Reading and commenting takes time, and I just can’t do as much of it as I’d like. On my blog, I do value the comments but if I got more tweets or Stumbles or whatever, I certainly wouldn’t complain. The bit about that I don’t like is that I can’t always see who did it and I really like to be able to thank people for support and pay it back.
I get so much out of blogging and if someone emails me or DMs and asks for help or support or just a hug, I’m happy to give that. In fact, that actually means more to me because I’m supporting the whole person and not just her blog. It’s the single biggest source of my blogging warm fuzzies, and I never even knew to expect it.
THIS IS AWESOME! Has been on my mind for a long time now. I read your posts & all the blogs that I subscribed to on my phone which does not lend itself nicely to commenting. I also don’t want to comment during work hours since everything is time-stamped & I’m a bit paranoid about that. That’s why I appreciate the LIKE button on Facebook. I wish someone could come up with the technology to allow us to reply to the emailed posts to send some sort of “acknowledgement”, since to be honest, I cannot have an opinion about everything and most of the time I really just want to say, I read this and I enjoy it and thank you for writing it.
*Confession mode* There are people who comment on my blog only after I do theirs, and you can tell, and that always makes me feel a bit… Don’t know how to describe it. A bit guilty? I just want to tell them: I commented on your blog because I wanted to, please let’s not get into a quid pro quo situation…
Oh, I know how to describe it, it makes me feel like I was offered some sort of Sympathy S.E.X.
I loved your comment! It’s exactly how I feel. I don’t comment on someone’s blog so they will reciprocate. I do it because I have something genuine to say to them. I’m so glad Gigi is tackling this subject. I think I’ll retweet this!
Thanks! *blush* I did too (Rt’ed)! Another thing I do, as you can tell, that is a lot more fun is to hang out at my fav bloggers’ comment sections! ^_^”
Nice post,
First of all i want to give answer of your question from my point of view nobody can’t be a supportive blogger without commenting it is very understand thing if a blogger will not show any interest to leave comment on another bloggers post then which other blogger did commenting on your blog he will wait for your commenting for 2 or 3 times but after that he will also stop leave commenting on your blog post.
It’s wish of every blogger he wants to see much traffic and readers on his blog so for this i think quality is the main part of a good blog post and i am totally agreed from your some of point which you mentioned in this post like that (bloggers should have nice quality for his blog post) then he will definitely see quality commenting on his blog post.
I am addicted to commenting, but I think Tweeting with or e-mailing, or other means of social media can build community.
I agree that we shouldn’t feel obligated to leave the obligatory comment on every blog we read, but we do need to leave a little “love.” I’m not a newbie blogger, but I’m currently in the process of becoming serious about it. That said, I’m a little terrified, and getting a little love of any kind is most definitely a necessity. Since I’ve, in the past, been just a “lurker,” I’m trying to make a more concerted effort to actually comment and/or share posts that I have been enjoying. I can’t hope for bloggy love if I don’t give it!
Gigi,
I have been where you are and I must say, I dont get to comment nearly as much as I want. I Always try to reply to comments left for me (as they are sent directly to my commentors email) but it’s been near impossible to have the time to comment on a regular basis. I tend to read more than I actually get to comment on, just because of time restraints. BUT I feel like the blogging relationships that I have are sort of that friend that you might not get to talk to every single day but they are always in your heart and when you speak again it’s like no time has passed at all. For instance, you and I communicate quite frequently via twitter and occasionally via email. We seldom get the chance to comment on one anothers posts but I consider you a great bloggy friend. I hate the whole tit for tat currency commenting policy. I feel like those comments may not be as meaningful as those who we’ve made connections with via sharing and growing as bloggers with. And I absolutely HATE those comments that say absolutely nothing about what you posted and say “Hey, I came over now you need to come over and comment” It’s such a turn off. It’s like bloggy prostitution:)
XO
I think there are a lot of things that can be done that can be just as valuable as commenting. Tweeting/FB/Stumbling etc are pretty fun things, too (although I guess since I am not used to a ton of comments, I am easily pleased, LOL!)
In all seriousness, I think that we understand that time is limited and something has to give. For example, I used your FB landing page tutorial to get started with mine, though I haven’t finished yet. I would rather have you write an informative, helpful post like that than comment briefly on ten blogs (or whatever the time exchange would be), even if one of those blogs was mine
As usual, your work here both informs and entertains. It’s like you say – sometimes blogging is thankless like doing the family laundry load after load after load. No one really pays attention to it until there’s no clean underwear. Not really an apt comparison, but the mantra I’ve chosen to live with is ‘you reap what you sow’. And you may not be paid back in comments but it all comes back to harvest eventually. Maybe not in ways we see day to day (we get to be a little impatient, I think, in this day of super fast, instant gratification) but it really does. Gotta have faith in that.
Bravo! I agree! I am fortunate to have loyal readers who do comment regularly, and I don’t take them for granted. I don’t always get to visit them as often as I’d like to. However, when I do visit blogs, nothing bugs me more than the post that reads: “I unfollowed such-and-such because she doesn’t comment back!” Really? Really? Because I thought reading blogs was something we did for enjoyment, not because commented is expected. I agree Gigi, I think there are other ways to show readers how grateful we are for them, and this post of yours is a very great example. See, I know you love me because you felt guilty for not commenting. Good enough
First, I think this post is awesome. You made some very good points and I agree with you that we need to find something new to value ourselves by than comments. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE getting comments as most blogger do but that shouldn’t be the only thing that makes us feel good.
For me is about page views, and subscribers and retweets and twitter connections and being apart of those twitter papers that people do and being stumbled.
There are more ways that comments to know that people like your blog.
Gigi, I think you clearly deserve a comment for this post. You, of all bloggers, are great about giving back. I know that as do legions of others. We appreciate your techy side and willingness to share all sorts of new opportunities and gizmos. Maybe you don’t feel appreciated but you are.
The blogosphere is certainly an I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine environment. I don’t generally have time to play all the games and my stats reflect that. I just have to focus on why I’m here and what I like about it. You have clearly made a name for yourself and parlayed it into paying gigs. That is a great success for you! I admire you can do-it attitude and drive. I feel lazy in comparison but am often inspired by all you accomplish. Enjoy your success and don’t worry as much about the comment numbers. As you said, the connections are there and you know what you are doing to pay it forward. Guilt be gone!
P.S. I’m on my iPad and cannot review this lengthy comment which makes me nervous, but I’m submitting nonetheless! Sorry for typos!
I love this post. I’m reaching the point where it’s harder and harder to reply to every single comment and visit every single blogger who stops by my site. And I feel guilty when I don’t get a chance to. But I agree that retweeting a post, clicking the Facebook “like” button or Google + is a good alternative. You may not be able to stop and write a heartfelt comment, but by doing this you can share that post with others and maybe drive even more traffic their way.
This came up a lot in conversation throughout BlogHer. A lot of us are in that boat – I read a lot more than I comment, but time is limited, I read a lot on my phone (hard to comment from there) and I don’t always have anything more compelling to say than “I like this!”
I try to RT and list posts I like in “What We’re Reading This Week,” but I’d love to find other ways to show some blogger love!
I completely agree. And the thing is, I think most people who have found a tribe or even just a group that interacts a lot can understand when other bloggers who used to comment a lot are unable to. We have all had times when life keeps us too busy. Great suggestions. The only other thing I would add would be to say that whenever possible, stop by a blog you love and let them know you’ve missed them.
you have e-mail.
of the non-comment blog currency kind.
Your post got me thinking…(hooray!) and here’s what I’ve concluded as far as my own feelings are concerned:
I love to know that someone has read my post (obviously; we don’t want to put in the effort to craft a post if only two people see it).
And a comment is immediate/personal evidence that someone visited. But an email, a DM, a tweet, a “like”, a stumble (don’t know how to do that, but I’m assuming!) – those let people know, too.
I like to comment because I’m not as comfortable with other methods of spreading “the love” ~ but I would certainly appreciate the different forms of blog currency you’ve mentioned here.
I need to start branching out in this whole business of social media. I know it. But I’m the type of person who gets into a comfort zone and hates to leave it.
I’m afraid of “doing it wrong” or maybe hurting someone’s feelings or leaving a person out whom I respect and admire…And I also don’t want my Twitter feed to just be a string of RT’s.
There’s got to be a compromise – and this conversation you started is a great way to get that ball rolling…
That’s one of the many reasons why you’re awesome, Gigi.
Now if only I knew how to stumble this…
This is so perfect
I gave up worrying about how many, or few, comments I receive on posts. I know people are reading and that’s what matters to me. I do my best to ‘get around’ and am now using some of those sharing methods you outline. I love this. So awesome of you to articulate it thusly 
I frackin love you – For this post and everything you stand for. xoxo
I have never read a post that I could relate to more. I couldn’t agree more, Gigi! Just because I can no longer spend hours reading and commenting on blogs doesn’t mean my own role in the blogging community should be any less. I still love, value and respect each and every blogger I have built a relationship with.
Ok. That was enough thoughtful and serious for me. I need to head back to twitter and say something stupid and pointless now.
Can’t wait to see your face out here soon!
you can only do what you can do. I struggle with this as well because I can’t spend all day reading and commenting on blogs. I do feel obligated to comment on all the blogs who comment on mine, even when I’m behind on my blog reading. It’s stressful. I think, Oh, if I dont’ comment on theirs,they will stop reading. and then that makes me not want to open up my reader at all. I personally feel just as supported when people tweet with me, RT my Tweet or share it. in fact, sometimes MORE than a comment. I’d rather a thoughtful, funny comment or nothing at all, ya know? Sometimes I wish there were “like” buttons on posts
This is a fantastic post for me (see how selfish I can be?) being a newbie blogger. I of course love comments, and I love to leave comments…but I’m a chatty cathy like that. I also don’t have a Twitter account just yet (Twitter intimidates me and I would really love someone to hold my hand…I’m such a baby). Reading and commenting are still managable for me at this point. But, maybe (hopefully) someday I will have to manage my time and my commenting and its so nice to hear there are different ways show support to the bloggers that I love.
This post just reaffirms why I love blogging and the community so much. Because there are different avenues to show the love. So even if you don’t have time to sit and write your love, tweeting or forwarding the blog or post to someone, or stumbling (what is that anyway) still gives you the chance to show your support. It’s just awesome!!
Glad i read this today, because to be honest, i came home from Blogher a little disillusioned with blogging and bloggers.
You reminded me that my goal was to simply be a friend in the blogosphere, to help where i can, to promote where i can and to be the very real me in every single circumstance that prevails.
Glad that i got to meet you in those fleeting moments you were not whirlwinding by
curious how you were disillusioned???? (i’ve never been to blogher or any conference)
first, i think everyone’s comments drop in the summer. also, i think once you’ve been around the block a few times, people stop commenting. maybe it’s just me, but 2 to 3 years ago, (and even now) that’s one of the best ways to catch new readers and new audiences. just like you’ve become busy where it’s hard to comment, i think a lot of other bloggers get busy and find other blogging gigs on their plates and commenting just slows down. i know it has for me. think about all your bloggy friends who have another blog/site to run, have starting social media consulting, etc. etc…. life grows and it gets harder.
and yes, i go in spurts and sometimes comment a lot and other times no.
but you know what else is interesting… have you checked out the featured SITS bloggers lately??? the blogs they used to feature USED to get 100 + comments on their SITS day. i went to comment on one the other day… and it only had 15 comments… and the one for today…. 30.
i think it’s like, which came first, the chicken or the egg…. do I get less comments b/c I don’t comment on other blogs as much, or do other bloggers have less time (=less commenting) and therefore, i don’t visit theirs either????
when you go to a blog and see 5 comments, do you think, “this person’s blog isn’t very good b/c they only have 5 comments”… and when you go to a person’s blog and see 60 comments, do you think “Wow! this person must rock!” unfortunately, that’s usually how it goes. i think we’ve all thought they way. and unfortunately, i don’t see it changing much. I hope you didn’t take this comment the wrong way, i was just throwing out ideas that I MYSELF have thought about b/c I think we all think the same thing sometimes.
I think about this a lot too. I read 85% on my phone, and if I comment from there, then I REALLY have something to say. I don’t think it’s far to expect someone to come read and comment on my blog just because I do so on theirs. My favorite bloggers don’t read me. if someone new stops by, I may visit, but I can’t feel forced into following a blog that I don’t love as much as others. That’s the quickest way to clog up my reader.
Honestly, I love comments, but I LOVE retweets and Facebook shares. It’s like saying, “Hey! I loved this post and I think you will too!” to their whole following. I don’t get a lot of RTs at he moment, but one post in particular where I did, I had my biggest traffic day ever, just from a few more RTs than normal.
I rarely get comments and honestly never gave them much thought. I figure if the person has something to say, FINE. IF not, that’s fine too.
I only comment if i have something REAL to say. Not like “great job” or something like that. Comment, don’t comment. Read, don’t read. I say do what you want. You’re busy… there’s only so much time in the day.
I’m with ya girl. Just saying…
I’m a comment junkie like many of us. But I’m getting better about it not being the “defining force” behind my blogging satisfaction. There are SO many other ways to interact and communicate with blogging. Commenting doesn’t have to be the only one. You are right about that.
Plus, really – sometimes it takes SOOOOOO long to load the comments! I know you wrote a(n) hilarious post about that once.
So good! I’m totally with ya on this one… and not nearly at “boggy rich” as you are. But even with the blog I have, and love, I can see a difference when I don’t comment… even though I still try to read through my google reader at night when I’m rocking my babe! I have definitely made beautiful relationships through blogging, and I try to give back as much as I can… like what I’m doing right now, stealing a moment away after putting the kids down for nap and starting laundry, before I run to pee before I don’t get another chance, and leaving a comment for you!
Great post, just saying I totally feel ya on this one.
~Tabitha
I built up a little “tribe” of commentors by responding to their comments in a personal e-mail back to them. If anyone leaves an e-mail address, I will write back and respond.
I swear I didn’t do it to Build a Tribe–I just had more to say to them. When I started doing that, my comments jumped back up again. People like knowing their 5 minutes weren’t wasted; someone read it.
I started blogging in ’08, and yes, comments were KING then. At my comment peak, I could get 30-40 comments on a post–and I didn’t respond to them in any way. Then it just died. Facebook…Twitter…my numbers are better than they were, but my comments dwindled to 3 or 4.
Once I e-mailed and the regulars commented again, it turned back around. The more comments that are there, the greater chance a newbie will comment. (I guess seeing 15+ comments can swing a fence sitter into jumping in?)
RT’ing and FB plugs are great recognition from another blogger–but if you want more old fashioned comments from your readers, try engaging them.
This is interesting. I had not thought about it like this. Generally I like to leave comments, but I’m getting to the point where I don’t have the time to comment. I would like to be reading more and making more connections, but I don’t feel like I’m adding any value if I’m doing a “drive by” so I end up doing nothing. I had not thought that tweeting, liking and the like could also be considered “blogging currency.” I definitely like idea of it. I’m wondering if the practice of it carries over. Have you seen that you get more of these types of things now that you are trading in them? Does that make sense?
I sympathize, and in my own small way, empathize, with your guilt feelings about not being able to get around and comment more. And yes, I do feel that you pass value on to others, even if you (the generic “you” , not YOU personally) don’t always have time to comment.
But I can’t help but think that a personal comment means the WORLD to people, and in reality, that IS a big part of our currency. As much as you’d like to change it, it is what it is.
Another very thought provoking post, Gigi! You are so good at this.
I would and could still write without the comments to my posts, but they are very important to me, They serve as validation. They also further the dialogue I’ve started.
I feel a lot of pressure to comment on others posts and reply to the comments they’ve left me on mine. I read way more posts than I can comment on because I just don’t have the time, but I’m trying to be better at this, or at least find a healthy balance.
However, having said all that, my tribe means everything to me and I don’t need those closest to me to comment at all. I just need their support, mentor-ship and to be able to obtain advice when needed.
it’s true, the thing that makes me feel most loved is a nice comment on a post. However, I also feel extremely flattered when someone tweets or retweets one of my posts or something I said. Also, I really appreciate when I get reply on my tweets, whether they’re about blogging or not.
So I guess I agree with you that it’s not ALL about the commenting.
Lots to think about here.
Things I think of are: RTing, voting for something when asked to, and emailing when it calls for that.
Commenting is becoming more and more difficult for me to do.
I want to do it as a kindness, but it is getting more and more difficult.
I do my best, but sometimes it kills me.
Many a time, it kills me.
What? I always thought ‘Following’ was the currency. My friends and family always seem to like it when I follow but are rarely inspired by ANY comment that I make! Great post! W.C.C.
I’ve been blogging for almost 5 years now and I have wondered this the whole time. HOW do people find time to comment and read all these blogs? It’s overwhelming, the amount of GREAT blogs I’m dying to read on a daily basis… but I’m just one woman (one woman with one husband, 2 kids, 2 dogs and 3 part time jobs, granted). I know my limits. I just have to write my own blog and read/comment on others when I can and hope that my sincere comments are enough good blog karma to get me by.
Great post and so very true. both about comments and the alternative options. Thanks for this thought producing post.
While I love nothing more than comments on my blog, I hate to think that I ever receive one that the commenter feels compelled to post. I know I have my regular readers – some comment every time, some comment once in a rare while, some never comment. As long as I know they’re coming, I’m happy to write.
That said, when I look at the average number of comments from certain bloggers . . . I turn a bit green. Like I have the little bungalow in a neighborhood, and the street is littered with houses – small, comfortable little houses . . . big old mansions.
I, honestly, don’t want a big mansion – I feel a connection with my commenters, and I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with a huge number – I’d either not get back to them, or, worse, I would get back to a “regular,” though see them as a newbie.
But, I wouldn’t mind moving up a little bit
OH YES YOU CAN! The feedback you and a few others provided me several weeks back about freelancing was invaluable. You shared your experience, that I completely needed. I don’t care if you ever get to my blog to comment. The time you took to consider my question and reply so graciously will be something I’ll never forget about you as a blogger, but more importantly as a PERSON! You didn’t have to help me, but you did, I really needed it and took your advice to heart. I thanked you then, but there’s never a better time than the present to do it again. THANK YOU FOR BEING A SUPPORTIVE BLOGGER. XOXO, Ali
This is exactly what has turned me off from blogging from the start. I love writing, love keeping my blog, however the whole popularity contest and who has the most comments and all that – I can do without. That is not why I began blogging and still is not why I do. When I first began blogging I fell into it – subscribed to all blogs – commented on all blogs – basically spent my day not working, but commenting – commenting on things I really had no ‘true comment’ on. I realized what I was doing and cut back – started to only comment where I felt a reason to. This was much better and I still love of all these blogs (including yours
However, when life gets busy (which it did last summer for me and once again this summer) I am absent from commenting even on my favorite blogs. I found last year that this made me lose a lot of visitors to my blog. But you know what -when it comes down to it, if they are only commenting for the sake of commenting – why would I want them to? Life is once again busy. I am now following my dreams of writing and being published. This along with working and taking care of my family…blog visiting is unfortunately once again on the back burner. Like you said, there are other ways to be supportive and people are entitled to ‘digital breaks’. True friends in real life would still be there – true digital friends will too. 
You are right! The thing is, no one gives back to blogging as much as you do. You have a lot of currency where the other work is concerned- in helping others blog. I help some along the way, but not nearly as much as you. You deserve a free pass, for sure!!
Everyone has their way of showing love and all are valid. I don’t think commenting should be the only currency, not by a long shot.
The RTing quality posts, buying books written by our friends, passing on knowledge and job opportunities (like you did for me) all count big time.
I still like to comment when I can, because I know many bloggers put a lot of emphasis on it and I want to show my love in their “language.” But as I get busier and busier, I need to accept that support goes beyond commenting.
Great discussion topic.
This is the first time I’ve commented on one of your posts. You need another comment right? I know 50+ can’t be enough,lol.
I just posted about this myself for a prompt on blogging tips for last TH Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop. I learned early on that I just don’t have the capacity to comment to every great post I read. But like you suggest there are other ways to show appreciation. Thank you for sharing your insight on new blogger currency. I do agree we should tap into that more.
Great post!!
I agree with seeing commenting as one of the most important ways of support but i really appreciate mentions on twitter and RTs as well!
I guess the reason comments mean so much to me is because when I leave a comment, it’s out of the sheer compulsion to do so. I absolutely have to say something about this or that. So when I get comments, I feel as though I may have inspired that in someone else. May not be the case at all, but I guess we all see the world through our own unique glasses.
That being said, I hate the “comment for a comment” idea – and I think that many of my commenters who find me via linkups and such subscribe to that philosophy and therefore don’t come back for a second visit. I do, however, try to answer every comment either on the blog or via email. I just don’t want to feel obligated to return the favor when I might not have the time or desire to do so.
Thank you for once again giving your readers something to think about.
I’ll admit, I still love comments (old-school blogger here!). I just feel SO happy when I know someone has read my post and cared about what I’ve said and takes time to respond to it. Of course at this point I have mostly the same 10-15 commenters on a daily basis, so… not sure what that says. Plus, you’re right, I don’t necessarily want people commenting, JUST to comment. Does that make sense?
On the flip side, I still also try to comment as much as I can but it’s getting harder as my kids get older and life gets busier in general.
That’s why I’m loving this idea of “other currency” and I think your brilliance shines through with the concept and your ideas. I’m really glad you wrote this post and put the thoughts in my head.
Now to figure out Stumble Upon…
I like getting comments just as much as any blogger does but at the same time can’t keep up with commenting they way I feel like I should and am forever feeling guilty about not keeping up with my end of commenting. BUT I tweet, email, facebook, whatever with all kinds of bloggers and feel that I stay in touch with the blogging world and I hope that is enough.
Since I’m having a harder time keeping up with my readers I asked on twitter recently what people want most after leaving a comment: a comment reply, a return visit or both and almost everyone answered “both.” I just can’t keep up with that! So I’m babbling on to say I truly appreciate your view point in this post and hope others appreciate the other ways bloggers connect besides just commenting.
Oh wow.
Geeg, you have hit the nail on the head. It’s definitely our blogger currency. And it shouldn’t be that way.
I, for one, weigh my blogger worth by the number of comments I get. Yet, at the same time, I completely understand when my bloggy friends can’t comment, especially on my War and Peace posts. I know, we’re all busy. Life takes us to all kinds of places and commenting becomes a low priority and that should always be okay.
As for a new type of blogging currency? I love that idea. And you, of all people, should never, ever feel guilty about blogging. You truly are the most generous blogger I know. You give back to other bloggers on a constant basis. You’re a shining example of blogging currency at its very best. So, stop feeling guilty and shine on, Babe.
This was very thought provoking b/c I think a lot of bloggers do measure our worth in terms of comments, especially when first starting out. I’m finally at a point where I don’t hunger for comments all day long. I’ve built up a support system and I’ve come to realize I have quite a few readers who don’t always comment. I appreciate the support I get on Twitter and the behind the scenes support as well. I too am realizing just how difficult it is to keep up with responding to comments and taking time to read and comment constantly. Sometimes it does feel like an obligation, especially with blogs that I’m not always interested in. So then I wonder if people feel that way about my blog and I would never want anyone to comment out of obligation.
It’s so hard. It’s almost like a popularity contest. I just can’t do it b/c I feel like I spend all day trying to keep up and I feel like my “real” life is being neglected. You have to draw a line.
Bravo. I think the reciprocity thing is bullshit. We should read what stirs us. And – on a more basic level – what we have time to consume. If I spent as much time commenting on others’ blogs as I ‘should’ I’d have three children whose memory of their mother was the top of her head, staring downward at a phone or computer screen.
If you’re reading my blog just to get the back-scratching in return, just stop. I RELEASE YOU. I don’t need it. And you don’t need to do it.
(I don’t say ‘You’ like “You, Gigi” – in case that wasn’t clear)
I hate getting comments that are just like, “Great post!” It makes me wonder if they read it at all. I don’t want a pat on the back — I would like your actual opinions, if you have any. And if you don’t have any — it’s quite okay to read it and move on! If you’re a regular reader, it’s nice to comment once and introduce yourself — letting me know that you’re reading and what you come for — but you don’t have to comment on all my posts just to make me happy.
For me, “currency” is subscribing/following. If you do that, it means you’re reading my blog, right? And I write my blog in order to get people to read it. Bam, goal achieved; I don’t need a ton of comments.
I do love insightful comments, but more because I enjoy reading them than because I think they’re “love points.”
Getting shared, retweeted, posted to facebook — those would be GREAT! That’s a good idea for an alternative to all that obligatory commenting.
I agree, definitely. And I’m sorry to say that mostly I just leave these comments, rather than liking it on Facebook, etc. I actually think that sharing through social media is even more useful than comments. Just sayin’…I accept both, happily!
I love reading and commenting on blogs – I only wish there was more time in the day to do it! I agree that sharing other bloggers’ content on social media platforms – Twitter, Facebook, StumbleUpon, etc. – is another great way to show appreciation for a post by spreading the word and driving traffic to it.
I think comments mean more than anything else to me. I rarely have any of the other things without asking for them. =( Stumbled you. =)
I need to rein back my commenting to focus on other things and it is very hard. The drop in traffic that results is very important to me and I know that to refocus my time, I’ll have to accept that will happen. I have to think of my priorities and also play a long game. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think this through a little here.
I set a simple goal of leaving 10 comments and/or retweets each day. It’s just enough.
Awesome topic. I love how you said commenting is the currency of blogging.
Yes, I think supporting other bloggers is so important, and I try to do whatever I can. Reading and commenting is time consuming, so even if I’m just retweeting somebody’s post, liking their post on FB, or tagging them on Tuesday or Follow Friday, I do what I can.
I agree that commenting a part of SEO. It also gains you new readers to your blog. I need to do a better job of commenting on other peoples blogs. I try to write a post everyday on my blog of deesdailynews.com.
For the rest of this year my focus is going to comment on other peoples blog with good comments.
It bothers me every day that I can’t spend the time doing everything that I want to do, which includes visiting and commenting on blogs I enjoy and want to support.
I do spend time retweeting, stumbling, sharing, but I also know how getting meaningful comments is important. And I agree with Jen that a comment just to comment means a whole lot less than support.
Gigi, can I simply state first that you are SPOT ON with this theory? This, new idea? It’s perfect.
Reality is that so many bloggers thrive off of comments. If what they’re doing isn’t getting people to speak up and say something, they don’t think it’s worth it. I think truthfully this also has to do with “blogger burn out.”
People quit blogging simply because, well, “no one was commenting.” We do need a new currency and a more valuable one at that. I think there’s a certain point that one must get to in order to fully understand what you’re saying and value it. I don’t mean that in a mean way, but being “on top” or someone who doesn’t struggle as much for views, does provide great insight into things like this!