1. Thou shalt elbow, trip or otherwise distract a senior citizen to get the last free sample of coconut milk, freeze dried prunes or pre-made roast beef.
2. Thou shalt spend $32 on an entire wheel of Brie and then, debate for the next three weeks whether anyone can eat an entire wheel of Brie before it gets moldy.
3. Thou shalt avoid hypothermia while in the walk-in produce cooler.
4. Thou shalt hate yourself for ever bringing your kids on a Saturday or Sunday.
5. Thou shalt only put Kirkland toilet paper in the guest bathroom. Because it’s a little scratchy. But cheap.
6. Thou shalt troll the parking lot for 26 minutes and still secure a spot no closer than .3 miles away from the entrance.
7. Thou shalt use at least 6 gallons of gas driving to Costco, then waiting in line to fill up your car with Costco gas – that’s 5 cents cheaper than the gas station right next to your house.
8. Thou shalt always forget to keep your Costco receipt out when leaving the warehouse, then anger people behind you when you must empty the entire contents of your purse on the floor to try and find it.
9. Thou shalt always need to renew your Costco membership on the day you’ve spent close to $1000 on a giant-screen TV, Kirkland wine, mass quantities of red meat and a 7-year supply of doggy rawhide chews.
10. Thou shalt always, always, stop for the most delectable treat on the planet: the Costco hand-dipped ice cream bar.