About a month ago, my husband discovered that WGN-TV has syndicated episodes of Entourage. So he’s been recording every episode of the show and he watches them at night after the kids go to bed.
Normally, I’ve got my nose in my computer and I don’t pay that much attention to what he’s watching. But Entourage? Incites a visceral reaction in me that I cannot explain. I’ve already posted about why I think Entourage should be named something else.
I do not.get.this.show. I am so baffled by it, and its success, and it’s starting to make me angry. In the middle of the show, I can be found jumping off the bed and yelling at my husband:
“Come on. Really. REALLY? Really. That chick is freaking HOT, hubs. Come ON. There’s NO WAY.” and then I storm off.
Let me go over what I hate about this show.
1. Jeremy Piven/Ari Gold.
Who is this dude? Does he EVER speak to people in anything less than a yell? That is not award-worthy acting, people. That is called not understanding the art of subtlety. He reminds me of another short actor who does nothing but yell when he’s trying to be dramatic, and who drives me equally up a freaking wall.
Exhibit 1 – Jeremy Piven.
Exhibit 2 – another annoying short guy you’ll recognize
I rest my case. You are both galactically stupid.
2. Johnny Drama/Kevin Dillon
Obviously, the writers said, “Hey! I’ve got a great idea! Let’s make a character that spends all day doing his best Blue Steel move.
Exhibit 1:
Exhibit 2:
It’s all about the pout.
3. Kevin Connolly/Eric Murphy
. Ah, yes. The pint-sized Irish-looking actor who bags some of the hottest chicks on the show, despite being a freaking runt. He’s like, 5’2 and puny. Last I checked, Michael J. Fox cornered that market. About 20 years ago.
Exhibit 1:
Exhibit 2:
By the way, Kevin Connolly’s body looks like an 11 year-old boy’s. Have you seen how thin and flabby his arms look when he wears a polo? I went on Google Images and searched for “kevin connolly shirtless” and couldn’t find a single photo to demonstrate his puniness. There’s a reason.
He definitely has a smart publicist, I’ll give him that.
4. Adrien Grenier/Vince Chase
I don’t even want to put any pictures up of Adrien Grenier because just looking at him makes me feel greasy. Like I need to take a shower. Okay, he has pretty eyes. But the scruffy, 5 o-clock shadow thing is just way overdone. And his body is not hot. I repeat: not hot. I like a lean guy, but he is way too young to be so lacking in muscle tone and STILL score the babes.
If I understand correctly, Entourage is supposed to be a riff on Mark Wahlberg’s life. Well, let’s compare, shall we?
Exhibit 1:
Not Mark Wahlberg
Exhibit 2:
Mark Wahlberg. Hot.
I can believe a major movie studio offering Marky tens of millions of $$$ to play a superhero because superheroes have muscles and are strong and hot. (They are in my delusional world, anyway). I cannot buy a major movie studio offering flabulicious Vince Chase tens of millions of dollars to play a superhero because he has jello arms.
By the way? Adrien Grenier should fire his publicist for letting pictures like that get out into the media.
5. Jerry Ferrara/Turtle
This dude is a helpless hanger-on who rides the coattails of everybody else and wears tracksuits and basketball jerseys, because he’s so hip-hop, yo. And he drives his movie star best friend around because he has no real job. Nice. That explains why JAMIE LYNN SIGLER would want to date him, right? I don’t know why they call him turtle. I think they should call him Boxer.
Exhibit 1:
Exhibit 2:
Of course, I think even a boxer has more ambition than Turtle.
Let’s take a look at some of the women that have been on the show, getting bagged by this group of tools.
Um. Yeah. No. Sorry.
This show is so implausible. And yet, men love it.
Why?
My theory is that it gives the average guy hope - hope that there is no such thing as “leagues.”
These chicks are out of all of these dudes’ leagues. Just like they’re out of most guys’ leagues.
So if a guy watches Entourage and sees leprechaun Kevin Connolly boinking it up with this chick, he thinks he could do it, too:
Actual ex-girlfriend of The Leprechaun
And THAT, my friends, is what pisses me off.
We all need to understand that leagues exist. Stay in your league, dudes. Stay in your league.
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{ 45 comments }
Damn you girl! You got me laughing and I don’t have any Depends left!! Seriously, I think that you nailed the theory. Guys watch Entourage because it gives them hope.
This is just the tip of the gigantic iceberg of tv featuring so so guys with hot women. Even my husband points out shows and commercials where tje msn is dumpy and frumpy (cause that’s funnier) and the wife is hot. And ew on Adrien G’s topless photo (like I’m one to talk about hideous topless-ness).
he’s ewwwwwwwie!! yuck!
First off, I’ve never seen the show and am shocked by the pictures of these men. Seriously? They’re not even hot. This is all male fantasy. That’s all there is to it.
Secondly, I immediately thought “Al Pacino” while reading #1. I see that I was wrong, but really…was I too far off? I don’t think so.
And third, bless your heart for that Marky Mark photo. That’s probably one of my top favorite photos of all time. And oh, look, it’s right around bedtime, too…how convenient. Sweet dreams!
Oh HELL! You are right! Al Pacino SO should have been included!
I think I have myself another blog post out of this: short ranting actors who yell. Thank you, Jen!
In Adrien Grenier’s defense, he was really cute in that teenybopper movie with Melissa Joan Hart (Drive Me Crazy, I think, and I’m horrified I know that).
In Piven’s defense, he played Cusack’s buddy in Say Anything (and Serendipity). So there’s a soft spot in my heart, even though he is a bit of a douche. Though they all kind of are.
yes. Douche. Thank you.
and I’m horrified you know about Adrien Grenier’s career, too
I’m going to say, in Piven’s defense, that he IS actually capable of acting in a way that doesn’t make you want to plug your ears.
Serendipity – he’s actually quiet. He even WHISPERS. And it’s an appropriately emotional scene.
Plus – I loved him in Grosse Pointe Blank
The rest? Douchebaggery. Completely.
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My husband loves Entourage. And I never got it. Thank you for this!
Gah Turtle is UGLY.
Ewwwie.
I watched Entourage the first three seasons then got bored. Entourage is to guys what the abhorrent Sex in the City is to women. Entourage shows suspended adolesecent – Vinnie Chase and his crew combined with the srak like figure of Ari Gold saying things we want to say in a world that doesn’t really exist. It’s escapism. Just as Carrie Bradshaw and those other three were cartoons of what real women are, so are Vinnie Chase and his bunch.
The first 3 seasons are really funny and almost smart. It is a guy show because of the slight misogyny (which i grew tired of) sex, drugs, and rock and roll of the characters, and the ridiculous one dimensional women.
you aren’t supposed to get it. For the same reasons I hate Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City.
good post
Love the male perspective. But I do think that most of the time, they didn’t cast Miranda on SITC with super hot guys and the men seemed more evenly matched with the women on SITC. I think the only character that was completely unrealistic was Samantha. But this is probably the difference b/w males and females
Gigi, I totally agree with you. SITC was much more believable and the men and women were more evenly matched.
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I don’t get the appeal of this show either! And no, none of these guys are good looking and you are probably right. The guys just like the idea that perfectly average guys could get these gorgeous girls.
Awwww. I feel like I’m betraying my gender here, but I love this show. I’ve been watching it for 6 seasons and can’t wait for the final season starting in two weeks.
I do admit that some of the hot chick, to not so hot dude ratio is off, but A. it’s TV, if it were realistic, it would be a documentary and 2. I’ve seen plenty of hot chicks with nerdy guys and visa versa, in real life. My very plain, not very attractive best friend is married to a fox and they are madly in love with each other.
I think the show is funny and quite entertaining, although I wasn’t a huge fan of all the sex scene’s in the first few seasons, if I wanted to see that much sex, I’d buy a porno.
It’s not for everyone, but nothing is, I guess.
I know. I really don’t know why it bugs me so much!
I was that way with a few shows that my dude has watched over the years. Don’t know if you ever saw The Man Show, but every time he would watch that show, it was like nails on the chalkboard. I hated it!
I’m with you – Entourage makes me laugh out loud. It is *so* silly: the writers & producers absolutely know how ridiculous it is, that these lame guys are getting all the hot women. I may be giving all of ‘em too much credit, but I read the show as an semi-indictment of how stupid the Hollywood scene is, and kind of making fun of itself. I really do believe that some women are stupid enough to be taken with the idea of ‘celebrity’ so much that they fail to see that their guy is, um… FIVE FOOT TWO.
Entourage is one of my favorite shows, they have some of the best one liners on TV. As far as it being believable that these guys are bagging hot chicks? I totally buy it. Do we really pick men by how good they look in a Speedo? Shit, I’d be a 40 year old virgin.
touche!
Hilarious. My love for this show is deep. I LOVE it.
My husband and I think it’s hysterical. The reality of these men’s ability to get all these girls is really not something I’ve ever thought of….probably because the sex scenes are my least favorite parts. I love the dialouge though.
I just assumed everyone loved it….totally assumed wrong. I’m shocked, but respect it. I’m still going to love it and can not wait for the last season to come out on DVD, I’ve been waiting for a while now.
I will still watch it because I’m forced to. At least it incites some sort of reaction in me, I guess that’s better than indifference
I.LOVE.ENTOURAGE.
I’m not sure if we can even still be friends!
You have to watch from Season 1, then maybe, maybe…you will love it too!
Ari Gold? AWESOME!!
Drama? We call Lila Drama based on this character!!
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE ENTOURAGE????
This is SPOT. ON. Girl, you had me at, “[Tom Cruise is] galactically stupid.” Amen.
Stay in your lane, fellas! Although, that also reminds me of another one of my favorite shows, “King of Queens.” I love me some KOQ, but really? Leah Remini’s character would marry Kevin James’ character? Really?
As a veteran of a Hollywood talent agency & a big movie studio, I hate to say it—but it’s pretty dead on real. Esp. Ari, who’s based on a real agent who used to steal assistants’ lunches out of the break room.
I was in love with Marky Mark in high school.
I might still be in love with Marky Mark in my 30′s.
I have to second Wendi’s response. As a former employee of a major studio, the show is spot on. Some of the dudes walking around the lot or on set looked like a foot but because of their “job” the female world was their oyster. Status, it seems, is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Gigi, once again you take my thoughts and express them perfectly.
It is not possible for me to agree with you more on this matter.
I think Entourage is the male equivalent of the novel Twilight.
Ok, you have some valid points, butttttttt I still LOVE Entourage! I can’t imagine how it is without all the cursing since it’s on WGN rather than HBO!
Caroline
First, I must say: I’m in love with Marky Mark and think he can do no wrong.
That said: You know Mark Wahlberg wrote and directed Entourage. It’s a take on his life — he made it “big” and hired all his friends / guys from home to be his Entourage. There were not the best and the brightest, but people he could trust and felt obliged to pull them out of the pits.
I do not disagree about your comment on men and leagues and all that. I am disgusted by old bald men with hot young women — on TV and in real life. Sadly, though, I think this reflects more on the stupid young women.
And refer back to my earlier comment: Marky Mark can do no wrong. ; )
I completely see your points on all counts. And have thought the same thing. Although I think Kevin Connelly is adorable. And…don’t hate me…I love Entourage. In related news, did you see Date Night? Marky Mark was in it SHIRTLESS. The guy has been around 20 years and is still amazingly foxy. Yummmm.
Oh, I never did “get” this show.
But I think you’re on to something; it gives men hope…that they too can be dorks and still get the hot chick.
So sad…
I laughed all the way through your post. You are so spot on… and yet, I still watch the show. I think what I find entertaining is the unrealistic- ness of the whole thing – and knowing that guys love it for the same reasons. (Though, I too, could do without the sex scenes). And I will also admit that while Ari Gold is a total douche, Jeremy Piven is brilliant. Even more brilliant is the guy that plays Lloyd. But I can’t stand Kevin Dillon or Johnny Drama… I just barely tolerate his presence on the show.
Sorry…did you write something here?
I forgot.
After I saw that picture of Mark Wahlberg.
Oh. My. Yes.
ok I am one of the ladies who loves some Entourage. I agree with Poppy…they have killer one-liners and I agree with Lance that it was WAY better in the beginning. The writing/story sucks now and I don’t watch anymore.
I think Vince is hot. I just do.
However, I think Jonny Knoxville is hot, so there’s that.
Me thinks she doth protest too much…teehee…
::Ducking::
I used to watch Entourage and it always made me laugh.
Then, in a we-watch-too-much-television fit, I cancelled HBO, so I haven’t seen it in a few years.
But, damn, how did I forget how hot Mark Wahlberg is. Swoon.
I’m feeling sheepish to admit that I watch the show, but I agree with so many of your points, particularly the NOT MARK WAHLBERG comment. I think it’s a silly, stupid romp with characters that live unrelatable lives but have a friendship chemistry that appeals to dudes, much like Sex And The City did for us. I once read a New Yorker article about how it’s success surely couldn’t sustain without one integral female character, but somehow it has.
I’ve worked in Entertainment for the last decade – albeit in NYC and not in LA – and the mindset is truly bizarre.
Entourage must be one of the worst shows when it comes to acting and selection of actors….lets not even look at the non-existent plot. Same thing over and over again…lucky for me even my hubs can’t stand it and calls it “offensive to people’s intelligence”
~stumbled~
I guess I should be thankful that my husband doesn’t even know about Entourage! stumbled!
So, um, based on this post I should be *really, really* grateful that The Mister only watches the old Daniel Boone series from Netflix. I will never complain again when he wants me to watch it with him (but I won’t commit to not laughing when I shouldn’t be in some spots).
Angry woman blog alert! Angry woman blog alert! There are so many of your points that can be argued but I’ll stay with the ones purely based on fact. Jerry Ferrara (Turtle) and Jamie Lynn Sigler were together in real life, for quite some time. And, if Kevin Connelly really dated that woman you pictured, you essentially negated all of your points about the not so great looking men getting hot women.
I certainly don’t expect everybody to love the show, especially women, but it seems like actually watching full episodes, and more than one, instead of burying your head in a computer during the show would help more in your understanding of it.
Stating your number one reason for hating the show is that one of the characters yells too much doesn’t really say much about your other reasonings. Oh yeah, and let’s hate Turtle because he’s into hip hop culture. Makes perfect sense.
Dear KLUDGYMOM
After reading your thoughts about Entourage I felt it was my duty to post a reply because you seem realy self involved and stupid.
First of all nobody gives two shits about you opinion, In fact I belive the only reason people read this is because they got a good laugh out of it due to your imbecilic way of thought. It amazes me how much you hate Entourage, cant you focus your energy on anything else?
Ofcourse you can have an opinion but this was just pathetic. Your arguments are weak and lacking in any credabilty besides the fact that you disslike the show…
You prob wrote this online beacuse your Husband dosent give a shit about what you think and cant be botherd to listen to crap like this.
What people concider entertaining differs from person to person, try and live with that.
To me you kind of seem like a deuche and why dont you find something interesting to write about instead. This is a waiste of time for people who stumble upon your post and for you.
Go watch Grey’s Anatomy, Deuche
Sincerly Dave
You should learn how to spell “douche” before using it to slam someone. Just sayin’.
That being said, I do like Entourage. This is still a funny post and I didn’t take it personal.
Some people are really touchy about their shows. I don’t think you are a douche, though.
Yes, I’m a woman. Ari Gold is my fav character!!
It would have saved so much time and effort if you had simply stated the following:
“I hate Entourage because I cannot bear to imagine average looking guys, getting such hot looking women”
To be honest, of all the fantasies in Entourage, this is probably the one that easily stacks up to reality. Average, old, fat, or ugly, as long as your rich, famous, or both, bagging a hot woman is really not a problem. Just ask Hugh Heffner, Jack Nicholson, Flavio Briatore or Henry Kissinger (Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac). A half decent car, pad and bank balance, and nabbing a woman ‘above his league’ is no problem whatsoever for ANY man.
The whole chick thing on Entourage honestly seems to be more important to women than the men. I can’t speak for all guys but for me it’s all about the close friendship and camaraderie between the guys. Add to it the cutting ‘guy’ humour, and I can watch Entourage all day even if you take every single woman out of it. I’d honestly prefer it.
I suspect that especially middle aged men in relationships like me are taken back to our college and uni years when we had a small group of close knit friends. The humour, the mischief, poking fun at each other and looking ahead to the future. Every day was an adventure and no matter what, we had each others back. It would have been even better if we had the money back then, that we have now.
What alot of people overlook is that the series is loosely based on Mark Wahlbergs real life experience as an up and coming star. The group around Vincent Chase is based on the group around Mark Wahlberg. Not only is there a real gopher (named Donkey rather than Turtle) but also a real ‘E’ (Eric Weinstein) and an actual agent named Ari on whom Ari Gold is based. Apparently the real Ari is just as abrasive as the fictional one.
So ladies, don’t let jealousy get in the way of your other half’s enjoyment of Entourage.
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