Listen. I’m a simple person. All I wanted was a smartphone.
I didn’t know that it was another path to self-awareness.
But that’s what I learned recently, as I became an unwitting victim in the Great Battle of Droid v. iPhone.
This battle is not just about profits. Droid and iPhone are battling for your personality. Your lifestyle. Your very essence of being.
Their theatres of war? Wal-Mart. Wireless Stores. Best Buy.
I innocently walked into Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and started chatting up Electronics Guy about Droid v. an iPhone.
Said E-Guy looked like he spent a lot of hours playing Worlds of Warcraft on 3 different monitors while eating Twinkies.
He was on the Droid team. But, his social skills were lacking, so I never completely understood why. But then, a kindly and very goateed software-engineer type of guy was standing nearby and he chimed in as well.
He talked to me for an hour about why he and his wife had switched to Droids. He showed me his phone. He showed me all his cool apps. (this is starting to sound a bit creepy). He gave specific reasons as to why the Droid was superior.
And with my lawyerly brain, I began to start putting together some inferences and connections:
1. 100% of Droid users that I currently know are friendly techno-geeks or online gamers that like Twinkies.
Did I fit into the Droid demographic? The features were swaying me over to the Droid Twinkies. But I conduct a lot of research before doing anything, so I left empty-handed.
The next day, I went into Verizon. Brad, a droopy-looking fellow with an unkempt shirt, also sang the praises of Droid. When he was able to put a sentence together, that is. That they were out of stock of iPhones may have had something to do with his opinion.
2. 100% of Droid users I know are either kindly engineers, droopy or eat twinkies.
I moved on to Best Buy, where I talked Jason. Jason was clean-cut, well-dressed and well-spoken. He was the most knowledgeable of anyone I had spoken to. After 30 minutes of feature comparisons, I said:
“Jason, I’m torn. Droid has great features, but…I don’t know…what if I get the iPad? I don’t want to have an Apple iPad and a Droid phone. That’s bad techno-karma. And nearly all the bloggers I know have iPhones.”
He realized that the skirmish over features had been won. Now, he was campaigning to win my lifestyle. Jason said,
“Listen. When I think of an iPhone, I think of people in turtlenecks doing their work at Starbucks. Apple sticks their users into a box and makes you play by their rules. You are beholden to iTunes. Those people at Starbucks – they’ve just bought into Apple’s marketing hype.”
Is this what it has come to? This choice reflects who I am as a person? A leader v. a follower? Open-minded v. closed? Gullible v. savvy? Turtleneck v. plunging neckline?
Well, I love a good turtleneck. And I love a good Starbucks as much as the next person. But I don’t like iTunes. iTunes and all of its flaws have taken a good 3 years off of my life.
Droid was starting to win. And win big. I could see Apple as the new Evil Empire, and I wanted no part.
But, they didn’t have the phone I wanted in stock at Best Buy, so home I went.
On my last day of searching, I went to AT&T. Met John, a handsome and gregarious salesperson. I told him I blogged. I told him what else I’d use my phone for. I told him I was leaning Droid. He told me he was a photographer on the side and ran 3 different websites.
“John, if you were a mommy blogger with two kids and you were going to spend a lot of time Tweeting and checking blog comments and going to blog conferences…what would YOU buy?”
John said, “iPhone. All the way.”
I looked at John. I could picture John at Starbucks in a turtleneck.
But what about me? Who would I most likely be seen mingling with in real life?
Twinkie dude? Droopy dude? Best Buy Guy Who’s Clean-Cut But Hates Apple? Or John, in his turtleneck, discussing websites over a coffee?
The battle was over. I bought a phone.
I went home. Put a turtleneck on. Went to Starbucks. Ordered a decaf skinny cinnamon dolce latte. And started playing with my iPhone.
Note: this is not meant to cast aspersions on any of you Droid users. Individual results in buying smartphones may vary.
Now! Go see the Facebook 500 Blogger of The Day!
It’s lovely Rachel from Mommy Needs a Vacation. Her blog is about getting through each day raising her 2 kids and how much I need a vacation….but really, will never get one. So until then, I just take it one day at a time…usually with a glass of wine in hand!
Yeah! A wine lover!!! Rachel is awesome and you should go see her on Facebook right now.