One of the things I enjoy most about my Around the Bonfire series is the discussions that are sparked.
Several weeks ago, Suzanne wrote I Wish I Had Married My High School Sweetheart. It evoked a lot of reactions from other women. The post resonated with one reader in particular, Katie from Your Girls and Boys – so much so that she asked if she could share her own perspective on this same topic. I loved the idea, and today, she’s here to do just that.
A while back, when I read Suzanne’s guest post, “I Wish I Had Married My High School Sweetheart,” I immediately started thinking about my perspective on this subject because I did marry my high school sweetheart. At least I think that’s what most people would say. My husband and I didn’t start dating until he’d started his freshman year of college, but it was my senior year of high school, so I think that counts. I’ve told the story of how we met and started dating on my blog before. And it’s a story I love. And we love sharing that story with our kids.
To me, the best part of marrying my high school sweetheart was stated perfectly by Suzanne:
“I wish I had saved all my first love moments for someone who deserved them and proved to be a good person with a kind soul who wanted to offer me as much as I was offering him. I wish my husband was my First Love.”
I love that I can say that all my first love moments occurred with the man I’m married to today. Because we started dating when we were so young, we’ve grown up together. And we still love each other, more than we did long ago when we were experiencing those first feelings of infatuation. Today we are a happily married couple, parents of three wonderful (most of the time) children. I wouldn’t change a thing about how we’ve lived our lives. But? The question we sometimes ask ourselves is: would we want the same for our children? Would we allow it (if we could actually stop it)?
And that’s a difficult question. If I could guarantee my children would have the exact same experience we’ve had: meeting a wonderful person, that one true love, at a young age, and being fortunate enough to have a positive experience, growing and changing with that person. Then, sure, I’d say they should absolutely go for it.
But I don’t think that’s the most likely scenario. We often look back and think about points we took risks for our relationship that could have negatively impacted our lives. We wouldn’t want our children to do the same. Looking back I can admit that part of the reason I chose the college I attended (and loved) was due to its proximity to his college. He followed that up by transferring to my college the following year so we could be together all the time. He graduated from college a year and a half before I did, so he had to take a job he didn’t love in the same city as my college so that we could stay together.
What I’m saying is that I feel that young love caused us to make decisions about our lives based on our relationship. I know that others do the same every day, and obviously we still do now that we’re an old married couple. However, I believe that teenagers can and should be a little selfish at that point in their lives. We were very fortunate that the colleges we chose/transferred to were great schools that didn’t limit our future opportunities. My husband’s job right out of college helped provide for our family for several years. These decisions didn’t hurt us in the long run, but we know that they could have. I want our kids to be focused on their futures and what they want out of life, to be young and selfish while they can, rather than worrying about a significant other at such a young age.
All that being said, I know we can’t always control who we love. If my kids ended up in a relationship just like mine, full of love and so many shared memories, I’d be happy for them.
I’m Katie, a 34-year-old working mom of three – two girls, ages 11 and 8, and one sweet baby boy, who’s almost two so I should probably stop calling him a baby. I’m an accountant by day (and sometimes night), and I love to waste my free time on what some (my husband) might call bad TV shows and celebrity gossip. I started my blog, Your Girls and Boys, a little over a year ago to share the everyday stories of life with my family. And I’ve been happily married to that guy I met way back in high school for 13 years.
Do you want to write a response post to one of the posts from Around the Bonfire? Email me at email@example.com and let’s talk.