Yesterday, I read a post that got tweeted out by the Empress. It was a post written by a newer blogger at From Bronx to Boulder who wrote about feeling like blogging is sometimes like high school and that she was feeling left out.
The post got a LOT of comments, from new and old bloggers alike, and it got me thinking about questioning oneself in blogging generally.
I felt compelled to assure that blogger that she is not alone for feeling like she does, as many others did. Many people wrote, “I could have written this post.”
I’ve blogged about feeling inadequate. Sandra, from Absolutely Narcissism, who has like a bajillion followers and gets scads of comments on each one of her posts, also wrote about cliques in blogging. There have been others – most of us have had our “I’m feeling overwhelmed” posts.
I’ve thought a lot about that blogger’s post today because I’ve had a few tough and overwhelming days this week. Various parts of my world are colliding. I am questioning many aspects of my blogging right now.
And I realized how there are so many different flavors of blogger doubt:
1. You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough. You read other people’s stuff. You feel inadequate. Unskilled. Not worthy. Wonder why you ever hit publish the first time. If you should even continue.
I feel I am not good enough.
2. You Feel Left Out. You don’t understand inside jokes on other people’s blogs. You don’t feel part of a community. Or, you’re part of a community but still feel like you’re on the fringes. You watch Twitter and don’t know how to get involved. You reach out and it doesn’t click with someone and it hurts. You reach out and someone ignores you and it hurts more.
I feel left out.
3. You Don’t Get It. You watch other bloggers. You read posts, you look at comments, you see what is getting action and what isn’t. You don’t get it. You have no comprehension of why some posts get 123 comments and some get 5. You have no idea why the posts that you think are your best are the least trafficked.
I don’t get it.
4. You Get Frustrated. You write well and get discouraged sometimes that a lot of success in blogging seems to be more about marketing than it is about writing. Sure, people tell you content is king, but you don’t always see the best content being the most successful.
I get frustrated.
5. You Get Overwhelmed. You spend so very many hours writing your posts. Promoting your posts. Supporting your blogging friends. Trying to make new connections. Figuring out SEO and advertising and getting your work published. You wonder how other people do it all. You start ignoring your kids and life seems to get in the way of your blogging and others seem to manage it with ease.
I get overwhelmed.
6. You Don’t Do Enough. You have big goals and dreams for your blogging. And you desperately want your readers to feel like you are there for them. And you want to make a few bucks off this thing. And you really should read more about social media. And you really…
I feel like I don’t do enough.
I am a freaking Baskin-Robbins ice cream cone – with 31 flavors of blogger doubt.
What is a blogger to do?
We are an insecure lot, we bloggers. That’s why we write down the most delicate of thoughts and hit publish and actually want someone to read our words. Most of us desire validation and seek it out. Otherwise, we wouldn’t care about finding a community or wanting comments.
The only problem? The validation that we get from blogging is like a drug high. It is powerful, intense, addicting, and sadly, short-lived. A great post, or a fabulous conversation on Twitter can keep a spring in your step for a whole day. But the next day, it can come crashing back down. You’re only as good (or bad) as your last blog post, your last connected conversation.
Maybe some of you will say you don’t suffer from this doubt. You do your thing and you’re happy doing it. Kudos to you. I believe you are a rare breed. Or you’re kidding yourself. Or it hasn’t hit you yet.
I am not afraid to say that I spend more days questioning myself than I do patting myself on the back. That I have difficulty getting to a permanent happy place with this seductive siren called blogging.
I have no answers, only empathy, for the blogger at Bronx to Boulder. Do you have any?
Popularity: 13% [?]
{ 92 comments }
It’s all a matter of perception. I know that for a small blogger like Melanie, or like myself, seeing the number of followers you have, the community you’ve built, the comments you get etc is overwhelming. There’s the feeling that “I’ll never get there”.
Then I read this post by you. I read about your insecurities. I’m sure there are bloggers much bigger than you who you envy or want to learn more from. And so on and so on. The worth of a blog, like everything else in life, is in the eye of the beholder.
I think it’s important that we all remember 2 things: (1) No matter the number of readers or comments or RT’s, we are ALL human beings behind the screen names, and (2) With that humanity comes the self-doubt that anyone experiences when putting part of themselves out into the ether like we bloggers do. No matter the size of the blog, the insecurity can still be there – maybe even more so the bigger you get. More readers = more chances taken, more self exposure.
The more we remind ourselves that we’re all in it together, and that we all have good days and bad days across the board in all aspects of our lives, the easier it may be.
I’ve had many doubt spells. Unable to feel good about anything. My self esteem was tied to how many comments I got.
It was quit or change. I changed. I still have doubts but I can ignore them. And all I did was unsubscribe from my comment notification emails. Changed my whole blogging outlook.
This is awesome.
Blogging is like a rollercoaster to me. I care about numbers, I’m over numbers, I care about them again. It’s exhausting. And as much as I would love to visit and comment on every blog I love, I just don’t have time. I can’t keep up. I have kids that I should be playing with and teaching instead of letting them battle it out over a tub of blocks.
So I scaled back and I don’t care about numbers….for now.
Kristin {ellie-town}´s last [type] ..Toddler Brushing
Interesting post! I just did my very first blog a couple of days ago and got no comments. Where is “I feel invisible”?
TBeads, we’ve all felt that way. I still do sometimes. I didn’t get comments for months.
Too much to say to leave in this comment box. You know how I feel, you know you’re not alone.
Yeah, what Cheryl said.
And you and I have talked a lot. I feel ya and know EXACTLY what you mean.
This one’s going in my Monster Likes on Saturday
Natalie´s last [type] ..Tater Gets His Ant Farm
How funny because I’ve been recently thinking a lot about this.
I think in my case, I just need to remind myself why I blog. Ultimately I do it for myself…as a way to vent or record life as it happens. Of course I’d love to have inside jokes, a plethora of followers, and feel good 24/7. But I’m realistic. lol.
I try not to take anything personally anymore and remind myself that blogland is a completely different animal in many regards than real life (I often feel like an outsider/social moron in real life). One day at a time.
I totally understand about the whole “shortlived high” thing. I also feel like I could be doing so much more. But then I have to remember THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN for me. I already have a full time job that stresses me out. I need to relax and enjoy my blogging. Easier said than done!
thanks for the reminder of what I need to be doing
That was so well said..and very true. Sometimes my blog is a love hate relationship. I don’t want to care that my comments read 0 a day after I posted something. I don’t want to feel as good as I do when I log in and see 8 posts. I don’t want to care so much sometimes….exactly what you said..’validation’. I also worry about us as woman. There was a time when magazines gave woman poor self value. People wrote articles and did studies on how woman constantly fell short of the ‘models’..and then we all learned about airbrushing..and breathed a sigh of relief. I sometimes think we look at each others blogs and rate ourselves as woman, mothers, friends, wives. We see the beautiful bloggy homes….beautiful families….home cooked meals and we wonder…(Is their life as perfect as it seems?) (Is it ‘airbrushed’)….yes probably. We all fall victim of it and we are all probably guilty of putting forward in our blogs the more perfect version of us.
Thank you for posting this….it spoke to my heart! I’m sure it has and will speak to many people’s hearts. =)
What a wonderful post! I have felt all of those things at various times. I does scare me a bit that someone as accomplished as you still has so much doubt about her blogging though. Does it never end???
I especially relate to the ‘don’t get it’ thing. I read some blogs that have very little traffic whose authors write amazing posts every day and then other blogs that are followed by half the world and, as far as I can tell, whose authors can’t even write! Go figure!
MultipleMum´s last [type] ..The real essentials of toddler wrangling
I definitely understand and feel like you were writing that post for me. Especialy the Twitter part. I definitely think there are cliques and some of the “well known” bloggers only respond to other well known bloggers. It definitely gets frustrating.
I think we’re all the same. Every one of us goes through these emotions and part of it is because we’re so exposed. We lay it all out there for people to read and we want to know that we’re not alone, that our posts were taken in the context they were intended, and that people relate. I guess most of us are a bit insecure. It is a bit like high school sometimes, some bloggers have their clique and they stick with them so they don’t necessarily make newcomers feel welcome. For someone who is already doubting themselves that could be a real blow to the ego. Personally, I go through the insecure part every now and then (more now than then) and I just try to remind myself that my blog was meant to be an outlet for me. I don’t need a lot of comments or followers to continue to use it as my outlet… although comments and followers really make my day!
I really needed to read this right now. Today was one of those low days on my blog, especially since I didn’t post anything. I really have to stop watching my traffic because it only makes me more insecure when the numbers are low.
Blogging is tough when you don’t get a response from anyone but you have to keep on going whether or not. I have to remember to remind myself that not always is some one going to comment on my “best” work and that I am blogging for me.
Thanks for writing this!
Oh my.
oh my oh my oh my.
yes and yes and yes.
I feel left out.
I feel inadequate.
then i feel like i should stop talking about feeling inadequate because people are running away from the doubter.
then i feel full of myself with pride…and that I am chasing people away with that.
and then everyone is in on something that i am not.
and then….
but then…
yes.
Katie´s last [type] ..Secret Mommyhood Confession Saturday
What she said.
Yes.
Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points´s last [type] ..I know when I’m being messed with
WELL said. You captured how neurotic this can become very, very well!
This is pretty much me, too.
Miranda´s last [type] ..Sticks and stones
Oh, yeah, Katie nailed it!
Varda (SquashedMom)´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- Thank Goodness
I’ve got more doubt than that creepy Meryl Streep movie. Particularly number 3. Need to find more readers and more blogs to read, I think. Who knows? I’m so frustrated I’m doing laundry. That’s like whoa.
I used to work my tushy off visiting many blogs on a daily basis, finding memes that my posts would work well with. I would spend hours daily on social media and content, finding the perfect pictures and then edit them some more. Some days I would get forty to fifty comments. I was gaining readership but I was losing my life. I’ve decided it wasn’t worth it. If I had stayed on that path I would have burned out and likely quit, and I don’t want to. So I’m forcing myself to be happy with less and hope that I can find a balance and learn to be happy with the blog being a fun place for me and a few people who enjoy my company.
I’m not sure if I’m there yet… but I’m sticking with my decision.
I wanted to learn as much as I could about the” internet” world my children live in, and that has definitely been the case. I hope to be able to shed some light and maybe a little wisdom about the great things in this world as well as the pitfalls.
Thanks for a great post Gigi,
My wish for you is to find your balance with all of this.
Dana
You are wise.
I think doubt is human nature, and I think it’s ok when it helps us to make positive changes and grow and not feel complacent. It becomes problematic when it paralyzes us. Another one of those fine lines.
So, no, I don’t have answers for Bronx, just lots of empathy!
I agree 100%! I definitely feel that there are groups that are exclusive….very much like high school…and it doesn’t matter what I do or say, I’m not part (still) of the “cool crowd”. Sometimes I feel like I could comment until I’m blue in the face but it won’t make a difference…I’m just not part of the crowd.
Crystal´s last [type] ..Love Letters-2nd Installment
I clearly fall in the “kidding yourself” category. It would be nice to be part of the in crowd but I haven’t drummed up that kind of commitment. Well put though.
Jackie´s last [type] ..project 365 photo- 02092011
Great post, Gigi. I think the nature of blogging lends itself to that nagging doubt. It takes balls to put thoughts, images, and words out there for consumption. It’s only natural to want praise and affinity in return. To mirror sentiments already shared, remember why you do it. For me, writing torments me, but to not write…torments me more. And I highly recommend killing the traffic checking. I haven’t looked at mine in months and I feel calmer. And try to find the crew you’d want to hang with, not the ones you feel you should hang with.
All those points are true for me – but mostly the feeling left out one. I think twitter is giving me a ‘complex’… I don’t know how to get involved in conversations.. Don’t feel like I have anything witty to say, or to add…
I stopped over at Bronx to Boulder too yesterday.. I think it’s a common feeling.. A very very common feeling.
Posts like this scare me..
scare me that you’ll quit blogging.
I come here b/c you are the only one who writes so vulnerably like this.
You are the only one that doesn’t sugar coat. Reading your posts is like cutting away all the excess and jut getting to the meat.
I hope you never quit blogging, Gigi. You are the only one in my reader who offers me all this honesty here.
Thank you.
Yeah. I’ve sampled many of those flavors myself. Blogger doubt is a staple around my place.
But you… writing about it? Makes me feel better. The realization that, no matter how big you grow, some of these doubts still linger… is a little scary, yet also comforting. Thank you for this.
Well, I appreciate your empathy and vulnerability. It reassures me that I’m not completely nuts and that I’m not the only blogger out there feeling these insecurities. It reminds me that we are human, after all. And goodness comes when we are vulnerable – as I have experienced first hand from my post yesterday – just with all the encouraging and supportive responses. It feels good to know that we’re all in this together.
Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday and sharing. And for being so vulnerable and honest in your post today. It’s definitely very encouraging for this newbie.
I feel those things and question what I’m doing every day!
Mama Mary´s last [type] ..getting all existential after hip hop class
Definitely understand this perspective and have felt that way in the past when I used to post blogs all the time. Many different blog cliques and its hard to be accepted by some of them as they tend to want to keep their group the same.
This resonated with me, because I do feel left out. I’m not “in” with some of the writers I truly admire.
I know that a part of it is I’m not putting enough time in…and I tell myself that I have my priorities straight, blah blah blah.
But I still feel like I’m the pipsqeak trying to sit at the big kid’s table.
So yes, I get this. So very well said.
Goodness, this was gorgeous! Your vulnerability and honesty are stunning. And your being right inside my head and heart? Eerily comforting. I can so relate. Thanks for that.
I totally have empathy for her and you. In fact, I wrote a very similar post on this subject this week.
After I wrote the post, pouring my heart out and read the lovely comments that I got, I realized something. Blogging is not about PR deals, the stats/SEO, or even the comments (nice as it is to get them).
For me blogging is about the writing and the connections. I lost that focus and got overwhelmed and didn’t like it much.
And as a wise blogger (Mama Kat) once told me, “Blogging is a hobby, something we do that we enjoy. If its starts to put pressure on us to preform then we need to stop because it is not worth it.”
This is me, saying to you, YES! YES! YES!
Blogging kills me on a regular basis. Every single one of those.
In fact, I almost emailed you yesterday about one of those very points that was killing me but I didn’t because yesterday was supposed to be one of my non blogging days. And there’s that too: All of this angst and misery and frustration and highs and lows are compounded with the fact that I’m trying to balance my writing my novel along with stupid ass blogging. And I call it stupid ass because it is just that. I hate it and I love it.
I hope your worlds become more peaceful. I hope everything is okay, my friend. I’m always here.
joann mannix´s last [type] ..Its Hard Out Here For A Thug
Blogging & Twitter is exactly like high school and I hate that. I’m an adult now and love blogging, meeting new people, and talking with them. It’s great! It’s sometime the best part of my day.
I just can’t stand feeling left out, frustrated, or that I’m not doing enough. Usually I just let it go but there are days that no matter how hard you try to start conversations with people they simply seem to ignore you.
I try to respond to all comment that people leave me and any mentions on Twitter. I don’t want people to think I’m ignoring them, because I know how it feels.
Yup, exactly what you said.
It’s 100% true. I find the thing that helps me is knowing that I put out a good effort and that I am pleased with my writing. Sure that’s not “good enough” sometimes but it does help me to not get caught up in that “this is like highschool” feeling. I will admit getting into serious ruts where I wonder why I’m not fitting in…it’s an awful feeling.
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Post It Note Tuesday
Between this post and Melanie’s, I’m feeling a lot more normal. Which, in general, is rare for me : )
I needed to read this from someone that I consider successful. The Twitter dance, the high of a well received post, my day being dictated by positive feedback in some way regarding my blog….all of it is me. I’ve been doing this a short time, but it has seemed to rule my thoughts from the second I published my first post.
It’s so hard to connect and to balance. Glad to hear we can talk about that too.
I have been kind of feeling the same way lately. It’s just moving really slow for me. The thing that gets me is all these people going on the blogging sites asking for more followers and they DON”T follow back. I just feel that if your not going to follow back, then don’t ask! Then joining the blog hops and following people and they don’t follow back. I am probably following over 300 bloggers and only have 168 followers, it’s frustrating. When someone follows me or leaves a comment. I always return the favor. Some of them just don’t take the time to do the same.
Terry Edwards´s last [type] ..Dreaming Of Summer
Shaking my head in agreement on almost every point. Thanks for sharing these candid words. Another great post from Gigi. And wanted you to know that whether I stop by or not, whether you get 100 comments or 5, we all know that you are a great writer and that’s what brings us back time and time again. Just be you!
This is what SO many of us feel, if only everyone understood.
Are you in my head? These are some of the things I have been going through the last few weeks….I know we all go through them at some point and its an awful feeling to doubt yourself or the direction you are going. Thank you for sharing this…in some way it makes me feel like I am not alone out here and my doubt is validated in some way!
I vacillate on this quite a bit as I often find myself wishing I had done more to increase the popularity of my blog, but at the same time, I am happy just to see the same old faces that visit as I feel like I’ve built a support network of friends, rather than a faceless/nameless fan base.
I went through some really tough times recently and it was through the help of some of these familiar names/faces on my site that I got through this patch, so suddenly having a new name/fan appear didn’t thrill me as much anymore as seeing someone who has been reading my words and has grown close to me (and vice versa) over the past year.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t have my blogging insecurities. What you mentioned here, I share them all. But whether or not I intend to do anything about them remains to be seen…
Justine´s last [type] ..Snowpocalypse 2011
“You are only as clever as your last post”.
Who was it that said that? Hemingway? Twain?
Writers are some of the most insecure people out there – just like other artists – it’s just the nature of the personality. Read ‘Bird by Bird’ by Anne Lamott if you don’t think so.
One other thing to remember in this labor of love/hate. What’s your end game? Why do you blog? As Stephen Covey said, Begin with the end in mind. Do you just love to write and connect with others? Do you want to ultimately make money? Sometimes keeping that perspective helps in grounding your expectations.
Here’s how pathetic I am:
I’m now jealous of this Bronx to Boulder person. Because she said what I have been thinking and now won herself a ton of exposure.
The Empress tweeted it out? Really? Jealous.
That’s sick a little, isn’t it? To be jealous of the poor girl who was feeling miserable?
Yes. We’re all a little sick. But Gigi? You’re like antibiotics.
You’re Penicillin. Or amoxicillin. Or whatever meds we need to get through the tough part.
So thank you. And I’m sorry you’ve felt this way. And I’m sorry that I’m jealous.
Damn. Where did I put that prescription?
julie gardner´s last [type] ..Today call me sloped
that sounds completely normal to me…send me some of your pill stash please!
So glad that Julie said that first, because it went thro my mind … and then I felt horrible … and like a mean girl from high school … and I was never a mean girl in high school!
Even stopping to comment … I am number 45 for heavens sake … 45 comments on a post … sweetdreams
ugh ugh and ugh …. but at least I feel like I am making a few friends out here in blogosphere.
My first experience meeting a blogger in TX … well, lets not go there, but Blissdom made me look at things in a new way … maybe we should arrange a nonblogging conference, where we just hang out and chat … on a beach … with cocktails, stressfree, soaking in eachothers creativity
Thanx Gigi, never quit, you would leave such a hole!
By Word of Mouth Musings´s last [type] ..The Skinny on the Scales! Blech!
I feel like this every time I decide to write a post. I know that I have only a few followers, whom I’m extremely grateful for, and my niche is very small but it does seem very clique-ish.
I don’t mind being on the outside looking in but there are somedays that I just want to know why that I can’t join in on the fun. I try but, like life, not everyone is going to like you.
Thanks for posting this!
I often have the same feelings – & it is even more heightened now as i have launched another blog. I question my ability to write, to connect and do achieve the goals i have in mind. It’s a struggle. So glad to know im not alone!
Devan @ Accustomed Chaos´s last [type] ..Why Do Some Only See ‘Black’ or ‘White’ in Parenting
Great topic for a post! I definitely feel insecure about blogging. I want to blog more often, but I hit a wall when I think about what to post. I don’t have a “niche” so my posts are all over the spectrum the topics. When I think about having a niche’, I have no idea what it would be.
Then, I think about the time I worry about what to write and how when I finally post something, no one reads it. I’m seriously writing 99.9% of my posts to myself. (I feel that way on Twitter most days too.)
Yet, I still enjoy it and hope that one day something will click. I’m hoping I will find a niche’ and it will come together the way I envision it in my head. (I don’t even aspire to make money on this thing.)
Thanks for posting your insecurities. It’s always nice to know others are feeling the same way!
It’s nice to know we aren’t alone in our feelings.
Thanks for putting it on a post so we can all relate
This is so right on point. I hate saying it, but it’s a relief to me, as a small, somewhat newbie to the public blogging world, to hear that some of the bloggers I read and admire the most have the same doubting thoughts I do. I’m sure you don’t find that so refreshing. But I think that is the nature of the writer/artist. We always doubt ourselves.
I admire you for putting forth your insecurities. You know you’re not alone.
I’ve had a blog for almost four years now (yikes), and it’s been a great experience.
One thing I’ve seen over the past year or so is how many more blogs there are now than before. I’m talking like, twice as many if not three times as many. Meaning, even Dooce would have a hard time getting noticed these days.
It takes time, but it’s worth it.
Only like every single day. I wish I had some great words of advice, but just when I think I’m in a groove, I’ll get ZERO comments and/or very little traffic. I’m never at a loss for what to write, but I’m constantly reminding myself why I started my blog in the first place. It’s frustrating, this blogging thing… there’s the pressure to publish, read, comment, self promote, support, etc. I must say that it is a little bit reassuring that even big bloggers, like you and Mommy of a Monster and Mommy Pants are feeling the same way. Thank you for this piece, it’s one your best! I’m RT-ing and Stumbling now.
Tonya´s last [type] ..My Forever Valentine
I love you so much, I really do. I have been struggling with some serious bloggy doubt myself for the last few weeks. I swear, my husband must be so freaking sick of listening to me go on about it. I’m really happy to know I’m not the only one!
You just said everything I would have said myself. I think blogging is like being manic-depressive. One minute you are on a high and people are commenting on how amazing you are and are asking you for guest posts and putting you on their favorites lists. The ideas are flowing and you feel on top of your game. Then… you have writers block. Suddenly nobody is commenting on your posts. The people you tweet with daily don’t tweet you back. Nobody has asked you for help or told you how great you are. Now your depressed.
It’s such an up and down, this blogging experience. I think it’s all a test for you to decided just how dedicated you are.
oh my, I don’t know about answers but I can certainly empathize with that new blogger.
It’s unbelievable how time consuming blogging is. Writing, at least for me, is the least of it. The reading, commenting, promoting really takes up a lot of time.
It’s nice to have goals, but it’s important to remember the reason why you as an individual blog.
SaucyB’s last blog… Really Bad Poetry
http://bit.ly/fbybK7
I seldom comment on posts that are serious and touching because I’m kind of a freak and always want to make an inappropriate joke or talk about dinosaurs or something. But I just wanted to say your past few posts about blogging have been beyond fabulous. A friend joked that blogging is like choosing to become bi-polar, and while I know there’s not really a similarity to having a serious mental disorder, it does take you to a place where there are just constant highs and lows. Silly, silly blogging.
Megan (Best of Fates)´s last [type] ..Reasons to Rock
Found your post thru a RT and this post really hits home. I started blogging…yesterday! lol I’ll be visiting your blog often and learning some good habits along the way.
Thanks!
Rose Marie B´s last [type] ..My first official blog post
Came back again, LOVING the comments here, Geeg.
No one opens up a discussion like you.
I feel this way all the time. Like I’m on the fringe and I just can’t break through and I don’t understand what I need to change or tweak for all of the sudden their to be a landslide of bloggy love. Then I think I’m just being stupid.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..The Battle
Yes….I feel like this every single time I hit publish.
Great post!
Lisa´s last [type] ..Here comes the sun- and I say its all right
Oh Geeg you always know what to say. Thanks for letting us all let out a collective sigh of relief!
I think I’ve give up on trying to figure out why some posts get so many comments and some only get a handful. It doesn’t much make sense to me.
There are a few blogs that I read sometimes where they just seem like one big inside joke. And I click away, feeling left out.
There are some cliques in blogging. But, I’ve also seen that sometimes, it’s only my perception.
Blogging takes so much time and work that I think we all question it at some time.
This is an excellent post and I totally relate to every single one of your doubts! I’m struggling right now because last July I was on a blogger high (for me), hundreds of daily hits, lots of comments, new friendships developing daily, and then life got crazy and I had to step away for a while! Now I’m back but I don’t get to just pick up where I left off. For the most part I have to rebuild! And that is frustrating as all get out! … And I still don’t get the whole social media thing but I am trying!
Beth´s last [type] ..My Precious Prodigals
I hear you on all fronts. i tell my kid, “just do the best that you can do” every day and that is something that I now tell myself. This is who I am. this is what I write. Read it, don’t read it. What can I do? As much as I can and to the best of my ability, the rest is up to the universe.
Your comment about life seeming to get in the way of blogging hit home for me. My blog is about 3 months old but already starting to feel like a second job at times.
I’ve had to step back and re-prioritize how I’m spending my time and what’s important. I try to find ways to blog more efficiently so I can keep up with it as well as enjoy other hobbies/responsibilities.
I will have to check out the post you refer to. I don’t really have answers, but I think you get back what you put into blogging.
Rachel R.´s last [type] ..Relax and Make Friends Wednesday Blog Hop 2-9
All I can say is….YOU ROCK!! I love that you say what everyone thinks but can’t spit it out!!! I appreciate this post and your blog!!!! Happy Thursday!
Well said, Gigi. I think empathy is enough when there are no straight answers. One question that might be telling is “How much would you miss blogging if you stopped?”
It’s true. You do your best to write good, funny posts and sometimes it’s like you are throwing it into the void.
There is a learning curve and it takes time to connect to others. It seems like the networking is as important as the content part of blogging.
I found you through someone’s retweet on twitter, where I am @notasupermom.
I really enjoyed your post. I am very new to this Blogging thing and sit and wander “does anyone really care what I have to say?”. Your post made me feel much better at it all that I am not alone in feeling this way. I an going to start following your blog, hope you will do the same this way. I do believe there is a lot to learn here!
I completely agree with you! It’s hard not to compare and feel that twinge that you got in high school when you felt left out. But just so you know, your words are important and I enjoy reading them. So never doubt yourself when you press “publish”.
xoxo
As a new blogger (it’s almost 3 weeks
), I have been learning a lot about myself, blogging, and what I want my blog to be.
I am starting to make friends, discovered the world of online writing workshops (yeehaw!) and after trying to figure out how to write the “right thing” realized that there are endless “types” of mom bloggers out there and if I just write about the things that I really want to write about, I will meet other like-minded women to be my blog friends.
But it’s not so easy to figure out the rules of the community and what goes and how to do what and it would be nice if someone posted a FAQ on the official blogging homepage, wherever that is.
Miri´s last [type] ..Beating the Bully
OMG so true. Up one day, down the next. The life of a blogger. Great post. Thank you.
Annieb25´s last [type] ..My Book Club
Wow- so like everyone else, I’m right there with you.
This post, the Bronx one, and my own similar thoughts have me asking some a new underlying series of related questions:
Who is this “in crowd?” Based on what? Says who? Are we all talking about the same people or does everyone have their own idea of which bloggers they wish would visit them, etc?
Nina´s last [type] ..The Dessert Police- 4 Days In
I am definitely no 5! And yes I lately feel like my blog is slowly dying. Between working minimum 12hrs a day and rushing home to cuddle my son for usually bout 2hrs only. I am left feeling burnt out and too tired. I feel guilty for not having enough time to read my friends blog (yours included Gigi) so it’s normal that my visitors number went down a lot. Feel like I had fallen off the wagon. Thanks God for Twitter but it’s not the same…I still sometimes feel like the outsider. You nailed this post Gigi! You really did.
Maureen´s last [type] ..7 Life Guides ala Tatter Scoops
All so true. I question all the time if I really even WANT to blog. I think I do it now out of obligation. I enjoy it on the days I have the time, but on the other days it is just something I feel obliged to do – like sex, or laundry, though neither of those happen every day. Maybe I should only blog as often as we have sex or do laundry. ; )
I’m with yah, sister! My philosophy is to remember that blogging is great fun and a great community, but in 20 years I’ll still have this – my thoughts in this moment and my family history. And that’s what’s most important to me. Documenting so I can remember.
Ashley´s last [type] ..Im ready for SPRING!
Yep, every word here could have come from me…except about reading Bronx to Boulder, as I’ve not seen that yet. (See, I’m not popular and didn’t even know about the party there). Too bad being neurotic about blogging wasn’t enough to make us a success at it. If all that mattered were neuroses, I’d have a PR of 10 and my Klout score would be 98. Maybe that’s a factor that should be added into Google Analytics.
Lisa @ Grandma’s Briefs´s last [type] ..Teachable moments
You nailed this Gigi- I think I feel ALL of these things!! Always questioning.
I continue to plug along…what else can I do?
Kelly´s last [type] ..Love At First Sight
There is a definite ebb and flow with blogging. And it seems like just when you *think* you’ve figured something out, something happens that makes you second guess yourself.
liz´s last [type] ..Don&8217t Blog- TWEET!
I found myself nodding and saying OMG that’s me, with all of those. I’ve struggled with my blog, trying my best to break that unseen barrier that others have easily broken through. It does seem like one big high school clique at times. I have to learn that I need to write for me and not let the pressure to fit in control so much.
Wow, this was an awesome post. Every word is so true. After I post something, and hoping for a comment or two, I feel like the teenager on a Friday night waiting for the phone to ring. We do like our validation!
well said. i can relate to almost all of those (at one time or another). i think mostly i feel frustration at the amount of networking needed to grow your blog. i do like it (to an extent) but really… i just like writing. that’s when you have to determine what your priorities are i guess. do i write just because i want to? or do i write because i hope to have an audience reading? it’s a mixture for sure. and there’s been times when i’ve been great at networking, and others where i haven’t. i know it’s a case of “you get out of it what you put into it” but i would be lying if i said i didn’t find it frustrating when i see blogs that don’t have quality content (in my opinion at least) and yet they have a bazzilion followers and comments. anyway, the good thing is that it constantly makes you look at your priorities and motivations… and that’s a good thing.
I can totally relate to this! Especially the part about not knowing how to get involved in on Twitter! And then I read my posts and they are so not adequate of other bloggers! Yeah, it happens to all of us!
Wow, you nailed it on the head….EXACTLY! I’ve had all those same thoughts and questions.
There came a time where I was glued to my laptop and my cell phone, waiting for yet another comment. Until I realized the message I was sending my kids was that the blogosphere was more important than they were. Needless to say, my priorities have shifted.
Thank you for writing this and expressing outloud what so many of us have felt at one time or another!
Helene´s last [type] ..I didnt want a personalized license plate anyway
Gigi, this really struck a cord in me and it surprised me that you can feel it too. I definitely can relate to almost all the 31 flavors. I think I get exhausted trying to keep up with the community and not neglect my family. I want to comment as often as I can, but sometimes I wonder if I’m running after the wrong things …
Thanks so much for writing this. It just describes my insecurity as a new blogger so well. I write what I think is brilliant and it only gets 5 comments. Go figure, yet I let it effect me.
I have these same doubts almost every day. Amazingly, I started doubting my self when I moved from a free wordpress site to a self hosted site, got my domain name, new design. I thought it was gonna take off. Instead, comments seem to be a rarity and I often wonder – Is anyone out there. I know I’m supposed to write for myself but I thrive off of feedback. It’s frustrating and leaves me often wondering if I should continue. The number of bloggers out there who are supportive and interact seem to be pretty low sometimes.
Misplaced Jersey GIrl´s last [type] ..The Birthdays You No Longer Remember
Slowly catching up on all my favorites – just finding this post. You said it perfect Gigi. I do think all bloggers question all of this at one point or another. The whole marketing thing you said really hit home here. I think everyone needs to remember that we all have different reasons to be here. Try to keep true to your real purpose. Not everyone is in it to become the next Pioneer Woman. Some just want to write. Others just need that hobby. There are numerous reasons out there – stay true to yours.
I’ve been reading many of your posts for the last hour or so and really feel compelled to leave a comment on this one. Only recently have I become really active in the blogging world and I became discouraged easily too. In fact, I also wrote a post a few weeks ago about why blogging feels like high school! I do take some measure of comfort in the fact that other people share my struggle to connect with others. I guess it’s just a matter of time before I find my own community. I do feel pretty lucky in the fact that I’ve already found a couple of really good blogging buds (one who I went to college with, but still!).
it takes a while to find people to really connect with, but once you do, it’s fab. Yes, blogging can be like high school, no doubt. But there are huge benefits, too!
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