I Have a Dream

Let us not wallow in the valley of housecleaning despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of dirty laundry, filthy floors and sticky tables, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: all cleaning products are not created equal.”

I have a dream that one day this nation will stop using blechy toxic chemicals to clean our houses, businesses and personal belongings.

I have a dream that one day little boys and little girls will be able to sit down together at the table without getting a contact high from the cleaner that was used to wipe it down.

I have a dream that one day our homes will be transformed into oases of kindness to our planet.

I have a dream that my home will be filled with beautifully designed items that are deemed lovely not only for their color, but for the content in their containers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, we will all be able to join hands and have them all smell like Coconut Grove. Or Red Currant.  Or French Lavender. Or Sea Minerals.

I have a dream that all people shall rejoice at the opportunity to scrub their toilets, mop their floors and wash their dishes.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every bathtub shall be clean, every wooden table scented with almond, every laundry room free of giant detergent bottles. Every landfill shall get smaller. The stinky places will be made fresh, the dirty places shall be made clean, the counters shall be sanitized, the ugly places made beautiful, the tedious housework shall be made fun, and the glory of cleaning without toxins shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. That we will learn to Clean Happy.

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let Clean Happy ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let Clean Happy ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let Clean Happy ring from the disgusting cesspool that is my children’s bathroom!

Let Clean Happy ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let Clean Happy ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let Clean Happy ring from the inside of my washer!

Let Clean Happy ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let Clean Happy ring from bit of grout on my kitchen counter. From every toilet bowl, let Clean Happy ring.

And when this happens, when we allow Clean Happy to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when we all will be able to join hands and sing, “Clean at last! Clean at last! thank God Almighty, we are clean at last!”

Are you ready to join the People Against Dirty?

The movement has already started: the movement that believes you CAN have an uber-clean house AND be stylish AND be nice to planet Earth AND have fun doing it.

Don’t you want what’s best for your kids? And your hardwood floors? You know you do.

Know that this movement is not for the faint of heart. You must have an eye for style. A love for our planet. A dirty house (no problem there). And? A sense of humor.

If you’re ready to join the movement, stay tuned. Big announcements and big laughs are on the horizon.

 

disclosure: i am being paid like a million bucks in toilet bowl cleaner by method to write this post. okay, so maybe it’s not a million bucks. and maybe it’s not in toilet bowl cleaner. i am being paid. but I promise that method didn’t torture me with nancy grace episodes to write it in this quirky and nice way.

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