Who is gonna help the little people? I submitted KludgyMom to Project Mom, a reality show that’s being developed about mom bloggers. What I didn’t realize was that most of the people submitting are a) people who’ve been blogging for 10 years, b) have access to professional production crews and actually did movie/infomercials for their submissions c) people who’ve attended things like the People’s Choice Awards or d) have millions of followers who are all tweeting the producers every two minutes on how FAB those bloggers are. GREAT. AWESOME.
So I’m a little David against these Goliaths. If you could check out my submission and share it on FB or better yet, Twitter, and ask for retweets, using @momcasting, I would sure appreciate it. Sigh. Thanks! Now, on to today’s post, which I think you will really like.
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Last week, I wrote a post about Unrequited Bloggy Love. It went over really well with you, my fab readers.
Now, it’s time to talk some more….not about the people you love and didn’t love you back, but the people that perhaps, you rival. Your blogging arch-nemesis.
I write this post at the risk of being called snarky, competitive and not having the community spirit that the blogosphere expects.Of course, my blog is always snarky. And I do believe in the community spirit of the blogosphere. But I have to write from the heart.
And sometimes, a little competitiveness creeps in. For me, at least.
First, let’s define a bloggy arch-nemesis. It is:
a person who started blogging around the same time as you, that you have an inexplicable and undeniable urge to out-do.
So. I have one of these. Okay, I have two of these. I have no idea why I feel the urge to out-do these two people. That’s the inexplicable part. But it’s there all the same, try as I might to suppress it. That’s the undeniable part.
There have been no fights, no open outlay of hostilities, no tension on back-and-forth comments disagreeing on a topic. I’m sure they’re lovely people! In fact, there isn’t a dislike at all! They’re simply people I want to be better than.
Sometimes, they do things that make me say:
“Dammit, why didn’t I think of that?”
“Great. I was going to write a post about that very subject. And she did it better. And got 297 comments.”
“How did SHE find that networking site before me?”
and the list goes on.
On my nights of insomnia, I’ll sit and ponder their blogs. Analyze them. Break them down to see what they’re doing that makes them, in my eyes, successful. Try to find a new tool, site, resource that they haven’t found yet. They have no idea I’m doing this. In fact, the rivalry, like UBL, is probably a one-way street.
Some days, I think it’s a positive thing in my blogging journey. It motivates me toward improving my own blog. Other days, it turns into a boiling pot of negativity and self-doubt.
So I ask you…do you have a blogging arch-nemesis? Do you think it’s a positive or negative force in your blogging? Or am I just a freak?
Discuss.
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{ 85 comments }
you are totally a freak. but that’s part of your charm. i don’t think any blogger who has been actively trying to gain a following and put their words out there hasn’t felt at least a little bit competitive at one time or another. but i think competition is healthy as long as it doesn’t get spiteful or unproductive. and when it makes me doubtful of myself, i step away from the computer and reevaluate why i’m really doing this whole blog thing. usually that helps.
but sometimes it doesn’t, and those are the days i stab my life-size cutouts of my arch-nemeses with a dull bread knife.
alexis´s last [type] ..the olivia chronicles- letter eight
muahaha!! That is classic. I love it. Thank you Alexis, for saying it the way I really wanted to say it, with that last sentence. I almost spit out my smoothie on my laptop.
Omigosh! You entered that thing? I was scared just reading about it! I pictured a crew following me around, making me look like Kate Gosselin!
Good luck, brave girl, and I mean that sincerely.
And yep, I have a blog nemesis. Weird, isn’t it? They don’t know you, you really don’t know them, and yet…you just grind your teeth.
TheKitchenWitch´s last [type] ..Seared Salmon with Jalapeno Ponzu
After I entered, I had a sick feeling. Kind of like the feeling you have after you drink too much at a company party, thinking “what have I done?”
so glad to have found your blog this week!!!
I think I am too new to have an actual nemasis, but there are certainly blogs I have a healthy respect for and strive to be as good and hopefully even better some day. not that I am blogging for “glory”, but it is nice to have readers when you are writing!
Anyway, I am pretty new to your blog as well, but I love your writing style and I really think YOU are the kind of blogger who should be on a reality show. The “big” bloggers with all those connections aren’t even the “reality” of blogging. At least not the blogs I read!
Katie´s last [type] ..Still Growing Up
I am all about the glory! Just kidding. A little bit. Unlike a lot of writers who are painfully shy IRL, I was a theater major in college and like attention.
Thanks for the kudos. I appreciate your readership!
I am so out of the loop…reality show? wow, brave friend.
you know we aren’t the typical blog. we are a bit out there for some peeps. showing a mom that has lost alot of weight and talking about tedious issues. But we are growing…slower than I’d like and man, that bugs me. I know we are not for everyone but we are not that bad. so yea, I have some agnst about google, fb followers..just a little.
Kerry´s last [type] ..What Were They Thinking
I think finding the right couple of people to put you in their blogroll or talk you up is so important. Some of my regular followers came over because they saw me on a friend’s blog. I think it’s even more key for you because your blog is so unusual. Know what I mean?
I don’t really have a nemesis. I have people I admire and am all wow, that was SO clever I wish I would have thought of it. But I AM jealous of people with 90 milion followers and commenters.
AmyBlam´s last [type] ..Friday Flip-Offs 7-23
90 million? that’s small time. Come on. They have to have at least 250 million followers to be big in my book.
I love that you are so ambitious and driven. I’ll try to figure out how to tweet it for you or whatever you need. Your blog rocks and your snarky wit is what gives your blog such a great edge. As for a nemesis… I suppose I would be a better blogger or writer if I was more competitive. I’m just trying to stay afloat and am hard enough on myself as is without added pressures. Good luck!
alicia´s last [type] ..Week 29 365 Buzzing Bugs & Crawling Critters
It’s official. I am a competitive freak and most of my lovely bloggy friends are not.
Well i should take a page from your book. I, too, am super hard on myself and probably should try to turn off the external forces that wreak havoc on my self-confidence!
As you know, I am more about the writing than the blog business of things. And I do so get jealous when someone captures something so succinctly with their words. I’ve been jealous of you. I’ve been jealous of Miss Amy Blam up there. But at the same time, I consider you guys my best bloggy friends. I admire you and you make me want to be better.
That’s it. And I do so want us, you, me, Miss Blam and a few selected others to get together and have our own Blogher. You’re the master of thinking up good ideas. You got any ideas to get us all together?
good luck on the reality show. I’m thinking you’ve got a very good shot. I don’t twitter or I’d send you a shout out, but I will FB something for you. Anything else I can do?
joann Mannix´s last [type] ..New Shoes—You Complete Me
Well you are a wise and well balanced person.
Just keep supporting me the way you do…you’re the best!!!!
Actually.. tee hee hee.. I do. However, it is not someone that started blogging the same time or anything like that. See – I work in media relations (ex tv girl) and my co-workers (all writers) have personal blogs. We are a very competitive group – w/o actually saying so. None of us have kids (though we are all in our 30s and married) – we kind of chose the “other road” so to speak. So – in THAT world, we tend to try to be the most “interesting.” I started blogging after many of them did – one is a professional blogger in Miami. My goal was to raise my numbers, with basic networking and story telling alone. Still in the infant stages!
Also – we try to out-drama, out-travel, out-try new things each other.. then report back. It’s hilarious, really. BUT .. in the end.. I agree, I think it forces me to be a better blogger.
PS – the reality show thing – yeah, it was probably one of those mommy bloggers that has a producer friend and pitched the idea.. always happen that way.
Also – I LOVE snarky. 
Nicole Abdou´s last [type] ..What would I do with 56 Million dollars
Thanks Nicole! I imagine those who are ex-tv people and writers would have a very silently competitive thing going.
By the way…you don’t have a link for an RSS feed on your blog that I can find..want to subscribe! Am I missing it?
You are too funny. And a total original, so I think you can stop worrying about your nemesi (is that the plural of nemesis?!). But I do get it. It’s hard not to both admire and also feel a small sense of jealousy when reading some of the amazing blogs out there!
Yes, will RT your entry.
You would be awesome on the show!
Thanks, Missy!! I appreciate your kind words. I realize after writing the post that nemesis is probably a strong word. But it got good feedback!!! People are interested in the post, so if my freakish behavior starts a good discussion, well, so be it. I’m a giver that way
Again Gigi, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!!! Yikes, first you look up to me now I am your arch-nemesis! Geez!! Hee Hee!
Seriously, yes I am freaking competitive and most of the time it is healthy and works to my favor. But, sometimes I need to smack myself. So, yes I am right there with ya sista’!
Christina´s last [type] ..Bloggers Unite to spread the word
Yay! Another freak! And you’re right here in my hometown!!!
I was going to write a post on this same topic. *Gasp* My number of enemies is growing!
Everyone has wanted to be better than someone else at least once in their life. I don’t have an ‘arch-nemesis’ but I do have bloggers that I admire.
I think it’s normal, as long as you don’t stay awake at night thinking about how you’re destroy them… you don’t do that, right?
Sara @ Tedious Life´s last [type] ..All fun and games until a kid poops in the pool
It’s reassuring just to know someone was considering a post on this same topic.
I only think about destroying them, oh, 2 nights a week.
I am really hoping that you get on the reality show. But honestly, I think it would be wrong if they only put people on it that have been blogging for 10 years. They need some new fresh voices out there. Those who don’t do this for a living. Maybe I will feel different when I’ve been blogging longer than 4 months.
I have to say, I don’t have any nemisis, but I do feel rather dumb when other people are so much better at what they do than I do. But as long as I have a few people that will come back and read me once in a while, I’m ok.
Again, good luck. I hope you make it!!!!! Your Rock
Donna´s last [type] ..High School Daze
the casting people say they are looking for bloggers at every stage of the game, newbie to veteran, so we’ll see how it goes!
Wow…you’re considered a little guy? Guess, there’s a whole world I have yet to see out there.Can’t wait to watch and share your submission.
I don’t have an arch nemesis yet, I’m too busy trying to live up to all you wonderful mom bloggers out there!
Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last [type] ..Linking it Up With Sibling Rivalry 31DBBB
Life will be happier without having an arch nemesis. Stay the way you are!!
I absolutely LOVE THIS! I would so watch you on TV… you have my vote. I would/could never apply for such a show. I’m a shy bird behind the laptop… and a labor & delivery nurse who is afraid of the HIPPA police so I have to keep low key… I used to be a very very snarky medical blogger… but have since cut way back on the birthing entries (even unpublished a lot old ones) because a patient found me out and told everyone she knew… not bad… but embarrassing!!! (not that I ever wrote about one patient… I always combined about 15 into one… but still)
Sigh…. sorrry… just had self therapy on your blog with that book I just wrote….
Anyhoo… I love most reality tv… minus toddlers and tiaras… and I pray if that is what you want… that you you get selected. I have always been a fan of the little people on tv (ha!)
As far of rivals in blogging? I’ve been bloggging for 8 years… a former journalist… and there are ones I love to hate (crunchy granolas) who spout their perfectness… and there are a few know it all OB nurses who have stolen my topics and that pisses me off… but that is all the fun of the community I guess.
At the end of the day… people come back if you are yourself… and not a duplicate of another. Don’t be a brand.. don’t be a niche… be you. I am a Christian blogger with an attitude… I don’t put myself on a pedestal and I don’t expect people to like my snark or sarcasm. It’s just me. And I won’t compromise that for an extra ad. I tried all of that… and it took too much away from what I was about.
Best of luck with your endeavors!
Taking Heart´s last [type] ..I Know This Much
Wow, what a great comment! I would love to read a medical blogger’s stories. Do you think they’re not as visible in the blogger community because of HIPPA? I don’t recall ever coming across one. Or maybe I’m just sheltered!
Anyway, I am glad to hear there are some people who get my feelings. The rest of the commenters, at least, are getting a good laugh off of me.
I don’t really have a blog nemesis…maybe too early in the journey for this, I will keep my eyes peeled for one;) I am though in awe of the lady bloggers as a whole. What an incredibly hard working group of women. I am envious of those with such huge followings and can only hope that with patience my blog following will gradually increase and poof I will log on and have daily comments to enjoy and answer. Love your blog and would love to see you on Project Mom!
ZippyChix4´s last [type] ..Laura Mercier- Make-Up for Mumsies
You have a great blog…give it time!!! It does take patience and a lot of work! You will get there!
I’m super competitive, but as far as blogging goes, I don’t feel it.
I’ve deluded myself into thinking I’m different and therefore not in competition with the rest of the blog world.
See, delusional is sometimes a good thing.
Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last [type] ..I spent an hour making this mess
I totally agree that delusion can be a huge positive sometimes.
Awesome post as usual, lady!
I don’t think I have a nemesis, all the bloggers that I admire who are more pros than me has always been so nice and I just love reading their blogs to see what can I implement in my own blog. Sometimes I’ll get post ideas from reading what these great bloggers had written.
Btw, just RT your video. Good luck, mama! I’m pulling for ya!
Maureen´s last [type] ..Weekly Roundup &8211 4th Week of July
Thanks girlfriend. You’re the best. xoxo
I’m a blogger way smaller than you, and fortunately I don’t have this competition thing, otherwise I will hate you, hehe!
Alessandra´s last [type] ..How can people live without a bidet
I lied. I now have blogging nemisi (totally the plural, right?) I just don’t know who they are. It’s all the people who were invited to “private” blogher parties that I didn’t even know existed.
AmyBlam´s last [type] ..Friday Flip-Offs 7-23
I was just reading about those too. and some other really evil stories about people’s experiences at Blogher…like being forced to eat alone at a luncheon until some little and nice bloggers like us nvited her to sit with them…yikes. You’re going to get great fodder for blogging by going. I just know it.
I’ve only recently heard about the Blogging Reality TV thing, but had no idea there were bloggers with that kind of experience or tricks up their sleeve!
I would say that I don’t have any certain blogs as my arch nemesis. But one thing that irked me for a while were the stupid “click for me” rankings. But I’ve come to realize that the people who are high up on those are either huge blogs or small blogs that constantly ask for votes.
liz´s last [type] ..Daily Kate-isms- 72610
i was pretty shocked too, Liz. Not having been to any blog conferences yet or having made in-person connections, I quickly realized doing this casting thing that that is a HUGE part of being successful. They have access to such a huge network of resources that it can intimidate someone who’s still a little green, like me!
I stopped doing those click for me things because I was never a very good sales person.
While I don’t have a nemesis per se, I am in constant wonder at how certain people seem to generate comments easily post after post. I’m blown away by their ability and I try to emulate their style, only to fail miserably because I lose my own authenticity. And when I see those who’ve started around the same time I did and have taken their blog much further than I have (or probably ever will), I am a tad bit envious.
But I have to remind myself that I’m doing this as a keepsake for my daughter, and so I feel better for about two minutes. Other times I just figure that there’s something wrong with me. You know, the usual teenage angst. Except I’m no longer a teenager. And therein lies the issue.
Justine´s last [type] ..Will you take my hand
Well, blogging brings out some teenage behaviors in women, I do believe, so you are spot on, Justine!
I think you touch on my point from a different angle, too. How do certain people generate scads of comments just by saying they went to the grocery store and bought milk?
This is one of the great blog mysteries of life. As I just posted to another commenter, I think a huge part of it is marketing.
When I first started to blog publicly, I came across blogs that I hoped to be like. Then I realized how much work it takes and that the caliber of writing always has to be on par. I get too distracted and can’t focus long enough to be coherent in all my posts
I can’t say I have a nemesis, but I do get the jealousy.
My cat, on the other hand, has a nemesis, the cat across the street. Whenever DH and I come around the corner and see that cat, we hiss …. “Nemesiiiiiiiiis”.
haha!! I love the cat nemesis. Too funny!!!
Oh you are so gorgeous and amazing.
I guess I sort of have rivals, but more in the networking way.
I can’t. I wish I could. When I was putting serious time in it, the networking was clearly paying off in readers.
But two jobs (basically), a husband, three kids and a house…I can’t spend any more time than I spend.
But I watch bloggers who don’t write as well as I do, or aren’t as funny as I am (I don’t think I’m Kathy Griffin or anything, but I can tell when I’m funnier than someone else) creep up in comments and readers…and it’s a little disheartening.
I want everyone’s blog to do well. But I want mine to do REALLY well.
you are too kind. I think the networking is like, 3/4 of the blogging battle sometimes. you could spend all day doing it. Of course, then you’d have no life and nothing to blog about. It’s a vicious circle.
I understand being frustrated by a perceived mediocrity in blogging. It’s usually the people who are great at marketing themselves and doing the networking. This is another blog post that I am turning over in my head.
My blogging arch-nemesis is my brain, which hinders coherent thought.
Another are new themes – every week or so, I resist the urge to update my design and triumph over redesign. But lo! Redesign is a worthwhile foe and I am battling it constantly.
Pop´s last [type] ..Friday Flip-Offs- 7-23 Pop’s Edition
Pop, I have that theme addiction as well. The only thing that stops me is a horrible fear that I will undo my blog and never be able to get it back!
I haven’t been at this game long enough to have an arch-nemesis, but I’m on the hunt for sure!
Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole´s last [type] ..Breaking out
Once people see that amazing photo of your kids in the bubble…you’ll be the nemesis!!!
I want an arch nemesis! That sounds like fun. Liz let’s be arch nemesis-es…I’m in. But seriously I’m a brand new baby in the blogosphere so no nemesis, frenemies or even unrequited love to report (btw I loved that post!)
And EVERYONE is talking about Project Mom today- good luck!
Yuliya´s last [type] ..When the going gets tough- it’s tough not to have a cookie
Thanks, Yuliya! I like hearing from even newer bloggers than me. Y’all aren’t jaded and freakishly competitive like I am!!
darlin, you have 51+ comments on ONE post. I can’t even begin to discuss my blogging envy with you!
But in all seriousness, I think we all have people that make us think, “damn, why didn’t I say it that way”. Maybe it’s what makes us better? Or maybe it just keeps us up at night.
Well, half those comments are my responses, so don’t be too envious!
But I do have some great commenters!
I’m working on this just making me better and NOT keeping me up at night. Work in progress
Thanks for coming by
I had a blogging arch nemesis.
I deleted her from my blog roll. Being angry and competitive with her was taking up too much of my time.
But I think some amount of competition is healthy. Just, not mine with her.
KLZ´s last [type] ..Here Piggy- Piggy
So true. sometimes hitting that delete button is the best thing you can do.
i’m close.
guilty as charged.
although I would term it a healthy rivalry. I like this person and their blog very much. I think it’s our nature to want to feel like we are succeeding at what we are doing in life, no matter what it is.
But, as a previous commenter mentioned, when I find myself getting too caught up in the numbers, I remind myself why I blog – and that is purely to be read and to entertain.
I better go figure out why I blog…..
Snarky and competitive? Can there be anything BETTER? Oh, everyone has a bloggy arch-nemesis – or five. And you’re right, they push you to feats of creative awesomeness and then shove you back down to the pit of I-Suck.
ps – Davids are SO much more interesting than Goliaths.
YES! Preach it!!! the Pit of I-Suck. I’ve been there. I’m currently taking an extended vacation there, actually.
I don’t have a blog nemesis, but now I wish I did.
Jean Has Been Shopping´s last [type] ..Fiverr Review
They’re easy to find.
You just have to have a freakish mindset, like me.
i kind of sort of had one and all the constant looking at her blog and watching her become uber popular did was make me fall into an ‘i suck’ pile. i just stopped reading her blog. i’m kind of ridiculous.
Tiffany´s last [type] ..Vaginal warts and mad cow disease have nothing in common Except- when they do
no, I’m ridiculous. Because I will keep reading even when I end up in the I suck pile.
Glutton for punishment.
I’m my arch-nemesis.
Alexandra´s last [type] ..What The Boys Would Be Like Without You- Or An Extremely Belated Happy Fathers Day
YES YES YES!! There is one particular blogger and we started our blogs just a few days apart and her numbers are staggering! I’ll admit I check her blog frequently and often feel a tinge of “WHY didn’t I SAY/DO/CREATE that?” For awhile it was a secret obsession/competition but I finally admitted it to my husband and he was PROUD of me because he knew that because of her it would push me to be the best blogger I could be.
My jealous of her is starting to wane (sometimes) because I finally feel like I have found MY voice. But I do think its good to have an arch nemesis.
I had to laugh that you had it as a secret obsession for awhile.
Mine was too. Guess now the secret is out!!!
I don’t have any. Back in the day when I had my other blog, I had many haters, but I just blog for me. I do like to make fun of other bloggers though…it’s a hobby and everyone needs a hobby.
The Ninja´s last [type] ..ADD and how to Blog for a Living
Ooh, now I want to see the “other” blog.
I like that you make fun of bloggers. Really, in the end, I make fun of myself most of the time. Which is the same thing.
I’m too new (and shelthered) to fully realize the extent of my suckage factor, but I know it’s there. I’m most boggled by the amount of posting that goes on — how do people find the time? It’s too much pressure…aaaah! Ok, back from a little nip — all better now.
I have the time because my kids are schoolage and can be left alone for hours on end with no supervision. Kidding.
I do not get the moms that manage to post every day with kids under 3. I really don’t. How?
Thanks for the words of encouragement. They are very much appreciated!
ZippyChix4´s last [type] ..Book Club Mania
To be completely honest, when I started my first blog I did watch a few bloggers that just left me stumped with their popularity. But then I stopped the torture, and realized that I will never be that big or that well-received – I like shooting my mouth off way too much.
If the bloggyworld is like high school, think of me as the weird chick cutting class to run home, smoke pot and bang on my bongos.
It’s all good man.
(Project Mom!? Look at you – so money.)
Ash´s last [type] ..Dropping my short
Aw…you’re cute. Can you vlog yourself playin’ some bongos? That would be excellent blog fodder.
Thanks for visiting our site…love your words of wisdom!
I just started a blog about two months ago mostly because I love to write but also because I am completely lost in life and thought, how’s about I showcase that for the whole world (translation, my mom and dad) to see? I have been fortunate enough to have some friends who read regularly but, I do look around at other blogs and sometimes wonder how I can get more hits. And is it hits, is that what they call it? As you can tell I am technologically challenged which is why my blog has no links or pictures. It took me two hours to figure out how to create the Blogroll for Pete’s sake. Anyways, I love reading other people’s stuff and seeing how many creative, fun, witty and intelligent people are out there. At the same time, I do have a nemesis who has no idea and I’m not sure has even read my stuff and who has done nothing to me…for some reason I see us as competitors. Is it healthy and unhealthy all balled into one? I think so…so I promise to stop…as soon as I beat them.
oh i do this. i do this real bad.
but i have to say my greatest blogging arch-nemesis is myself because i’m a self-sabotager. sometimes i wanna pull the plug on this whole shindig and live and in a cabin in the woods.
I had a week like that last week, Ericka. I just wanted to quit it all.
blogging promotes psychosis I think.
I am both oblivious to my surroundings, and self-depreciating, so I don’t have a blog rival. If there are bloggers out there talking smack, I couldn’t blame them. I read what I write. But there are a few that started around the time i re-stared who have eleventy hundred followers and sponsors and get hundreds of comments every time. I write about people getting hit in the nuts, and how much I love zoloft. I can’t expect much.
This is my first time here, and I’d say you’re doing pretty well for yourself.
I’m going to have be right over to read your blog. Getting hit in the nuts? Sounds fab!!!!
Since I’m in a niche market, it’s hard for me to find other bloggers doing exactly what it is that I’m doing… my blog is what it is and, although I love the wittiness and clever phrasing of other bloggers, I decided a long time ago to stay true to myself, offer my recipes, and share my information as if talking to a close friend… and, every one of you is invited to be my friend, so come visit when you can…
Twitter: SolarChief
SharleneT´s last [type] ..Sunday Toast – A New Month and National Solar Cooking Day
I’m new to your blog and having read a couple of posts I’d say that you are the type of person I’d want to hear from on TV… some of the big, giant bloggers … not so much.
As for the blog envy? I started blogging as a response to some moms of multiples who were really full of themselves about the fact that they had 2 babies at once and not just one … and soon came to really love the outlet. Most of the other blogges I know who started at the same time have WAY more followers than I do … but the only thing I really envy is the amount of time they seem to be able to commit to it. I’m a competitive person by nature so I’m actively trying to not pay attention those aspects of blogging … my drive would make it no longer fun for me. I posted once about blogging becoming a nightmare of competition … if it actually happend for me, I know I would I’d stop.
Gig,
You have your differences going for you.
Melissa´s last [type] ..After the Honeymoon
I’m generally terrified of not being commenty enough and not replying to the commenters on my blog because of the whole set up–can’t reply easily to each one and I kind of just want to write and then hope someone somewhere goes “me too.” But I’m Mayor Of Freaks.
Cupcake Murphy´s last [type] ..Cooper Being a Woman Who Loves Too Much
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