Little CEO is very proud of her language skills.
She is Mistress of the Obvious and the Sarcastic. She finds either of those used in a conversation and she’ll call ‘em out.
A typical afterschool conversation in the car with her sounds something like this:
“I know why they call it a cupcake. Because it’s a cup. With cake.”
“That’s right, Little CEO.”
“You know why it’s called a rainbow? Because it’s a bow. After it rains.”
“Yes, Little CEO.”
“I know why that’s called a flagpole. Because it’s a flag. On a pole.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I know why it’s a quesadilla. Because it’s quesa and it has a dilla.”
“No, that’s a Spanish word.”
“Mommy, do you like eating garbage?”
“Oh yeah, I LOVE eating garbage.”
“Mommy, are you being sarcastic?”
“Yes, I’m being sarcastic.”
“I know why they call it Dairy Queen.”
“Really? Why do they call it Dairy Queen?”
“Because it’s the Queen of Dairy.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It is sort of the queen of dairy.”
“Mommy, I have reading assessments at school tomorrow.”
“Oh that’s great, Little CEO. Make sure you give 110%.”
“But…how I can do 110%? I thought I could only do 100 percent.”
“Well, it’s an expression. It means do your best, and then do just a little bit better than you even think you can do.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“You’ll kick butt tomorrow, I’m sure of it.”
“Mommy, I’m not going to kick my teacher’s butt. Or my butt. That’s not nice.”
“That’s just an expression. It means you’ll do really well.”
“Mommy why can’t kids drink wine?”
“Because kids are knee high to a grasshopper.”
<<silence>>
“I am NOT.LIKE.A.grasshopper.”
<<music begins playing on the car radio>>
“Mommy, why does she need a hero that’s gotta be strong and gotta be fast and gotta be fresh from the fight? Is this song true?”
“Um…she’s looking for a strong man to protect her.”
<<the song changes>>
“Mommy, why wasn’t the sk8r boi good enough for her? Wasn’t he a nice boy?”
“Sigh. The girl doesn’t choose boys well, she wanted someone fancier and then it turned out that the sk8r boi was awesome.”
<<another song comes on>>
“Mommy. What is the IRS and why does he feel like they are watching him?”
“The IRS collects your taxes and they are watching him because they think he didn’t pay his taxes. And that’s very bad.”
<<I change radio stations.>>
“Mommy. Why does she want to ride his disco stick? What is his disco stick, anyway?”
“Um…er….It’s kind of hard to explain, Little CEO.”
<<switch radio off>>
“How about some Dairy Queen?”
About the Author Gigi Ross
I'm a blogger, social media geek, mom and wife, foodie, reality TV addict and Jason Mraz fangirl. Not in that order. I write here about parenting, blogging, technology, social media and pop culture.
{ 42 comments }
Hello, friend! I’ve had my head up revision’s ass all day. Just coming out for a breather and some laughs. I knew I’d find them here.
It’s a girl thing. My girls were this literal. And also? My girls were that full of the questions. At around 5:30 every day I’d put a ban on questions for the rest of the day. It saved my sanity.
joann mannix´s last [type] ..I Must Explain My Jacked Up Life
Really? You didn’t want to explain what a disco stick is? Whyever not?!?!?
Boy, i am now really looking forward to my daughter becoming old enough to ask that many questions!!
Wow…. that sounds exactly like a car ride with my daughter who’s 8. It’s non-stop talking on her part.. almost so much that I can barely get a word in!
This will not be a problem for me. You see I’m rather, shall we say verbose myself, I challenge my kid to try to get a word in…
Yuliya´s last [type] ..pop culture savvy android
Oh hahahahhaha, you are funny.
Oy! Just wait until she’s a teenager! OMGoodness…then you’re going to need something more than icecream!!
Oh, the joys of the radio. J was traumatized when bratchild was singing My Humps and the other day I caught her singing Raise Your Glass by Pink, I just didn’t think a 9 year old should be singing panty snatcher.
Now I have Holding out for a Hero in my head, and I’m not complaining. I’m even picturing the scene in Footloose. Ohhh, Kevin Bacon.
Good luck with that kid of yours!
Hutch´s last [type] ..Lesson Learned
Hehe she got you. Watch what you listen to Gigi! Wait – you can;t watch what you listen to.
Sophia is that literal too. So we listen to all kinds of kids cra and the soundtrack to Juno – and then I forget to change it and it starts cursing and I am in trouble.
I would love to meet the Little CEO. She sounds quite inteliigent.
Brittany at Mommy Words´s last [type] ..There is Sunshine in Hell
Oh, that’s too funny! I’ve given up on music with my kids in the car unless it’s one of their cds b/c they catch on to everything!
Out of the mouths of babes….never has been a true quote….Oh how I heart you and literally laughed out loud about the disco stick. I have a 8yr old and she only is quiet in her sleep. I also have a 1yr old…and my 8yr old is teaching her the nonstop chatter box ropes. *sigh*
@mamachickx4´s last [type] ..Mama always said wear clean underwear- but what about lotion
I have stopped listening and answering. It is really easier that way.
Ha! I never really paid attention to what they were actually saying in songs until my daughter started asking questions. I’ve learned that there is some redeeming value to listening to Wiggles CD’s instead of the radio. Oddly, they never seem to ask questions like, “Why IS the spaghetti cold?”
Classic! Sounds like our daughters are kindred spirits!
Haha! Man, you really gotta record some of those conversations sometimes. Talk about viral …
One time when my kiddo was somewhere around 5, he started singing I Like Big Butts around his father. His father blamed my (then-in-high-school) sister.
(It was my radio’s fault … but hey.)
See, I would have paid to have seen you answer that one. Gigi, what is a discostick anyway?
Sandra´s last [type] ..I didnt sign up for this!
Sounds like you have as much fun during car rides as I do. My daughter is full of the why’s questions. Why does this happen, why did you do that, why can’t we, why should I, why, why, why? Never seems to stop. I have started asking her the why questions back and she is really confused. So much fun!
Jessica D Torres´s last [type] ..Our weekend getaway
You handled that extremely well. Dairy Queen is always the right move in these situations. We frequent the Queen of Dairy a lot.
Dana
Dairy Queen is the answer to everything. At least, in Wisconsin.
Oh my.
I am so glad I’m not driving a young one around right now.
I’ll have to remember this when the grandkids are old enough to pay attention to my music.
Of course I can always say “um, ask your mother”.
I enjoyed this, very very cute! And very very familiar…
Enjoying this blog! Im a new follower.
Most hilarious question: “Mommy do you like to eat garbage?”
Everything else was also so so (so) funny, but your sarcastic answer and her calling-you-out?
That could’ve been recorded at my house.
Some days, I swear, I have to bite my tongue (literally, not figuratively) to keep myself from saying “Could you two please just shut. the. f. up.”
SOOOO Bad mommy.
But it’s endless. As you know.
Too bad our kids are nothing. like. grasshoppers. Because then we could sweep them out the door occasionally and NOT have to answer their questions.
Or we could give them wine, I suppose.
That would be interesting…and also perhaps make them more prone to metaphor.
julie´s last [type] ..Today call me rinsed
Oh Lady Gaga…tweeking the curiosity of our smart kids minds and making embarrassing mommy momets one disco stick at a time
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Home Based Business Course – Sponsored Post
Good morning…I’m visiting from SITS! This was such a fun read! BRAVO! Feel free to stop by today…I’m having a GIVEAWAY!
April´s last [type] ..Happy 19th Birthday- My Beautiful Daughter
Too funny! I just found your blog from bliss@home. I am following now so I can get a daily dose of your funny stories!
Rebecca
Freckles Crafts
Rebecca Cousins´s last [type] ..10 Fun Snow Day Activities
Love these conversations. You did a good job of holding up your end of the talk, Mom!
Those inquisitive little minds really keep you on our toes!
Joy´s last [type] ..Advice To A New Mom
Oh man! That “disco stick” and “IRS” lines made me laugh so hard! A very expressing girl you have there. Ha!
Amber´s last [type] ..A Time to Hold
Our daughters would have great conversation. Mine gets why it’s called mac & cheese.
Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last [type] ..The only time I love to shop
From 80′s to Lady Gaga. I like your presets, lady.
Katie´s last [type] ..McFatty Monday
We go through this Kate so much that now she says, “It’s just an expression, right?”
liz´s last [type] ..Where’s Waldo
Classic. Wait, what the hell IS a disco stick? What kind of radio are you listening to, anyway???
LOL. Loved that. Very cute and a good laugh. E has been going around for the last two days saying he’s going in his lavatory. He constructed a pretend LABRATORY in the living room. Kids are funny.
SaucyB’s last blog… Who Knew They Had so Much in Common?
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Very funny! My MIL loves to listen to the Top 40 station with my child in the car and I was shocked one day to hear her singing “P-p-p-poker face”. Good Lord, that will make your eyebrows jump up in a hurry. But I figure she’s learning annunciation that way.
Pinkie´s last [type] ..Whats going on Whats going on
Oh my…were you just exhausted by the time you got home? She is too cute for sure, and smart!
I still cringe when I hear my son singing that Katy Perry song…something about melting the popsicle or whatever.
Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last [type] ..Picky Little Eater
Mine never ask the questions I would LOVE to answer…only those that I have no interest in answering.
Like about disco sticks. I would have loved to hear your explanation for that one!
I stopped playing the radio as a diversion when the erectile disfunction ads started.
Sherri´s last [type] ..Driven to Insanity
And it only gets crazier…the other day I was in the car with my 14 year old son and Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream came on…
kimberly´s last [type] ..Sunday Seven
been there….my daughter loves songs like tik tok and Hot and Cold. Trouble, trouble, trouble.
We don’t listen to music in the car. We put in a movie.
We are geniuses.
Wow! Your kids ask a LOT of questions. Mine are blissfully innocent and I’m dreading the day when they’re no longer.
Ice cream is the best solution to an awkward situation.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..We survived barely
I can only imagine this will be in my future not too soon.
I read this to my hubs – he laughed too. Thanks for sharing!
Emily faliLV´s last [type] ..Toddler Talk 25 Temper Tantrums
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