I decided today, I’d take on a truly weighty issue.
The issue of manpris.
I’ve become a huge proponent.
Why?
Because when you are 5’9, and your husband is 6’5, you have a 99.72634% statistical probability that your child will grow up to be Lurch.
For those of you not alive in the 1960s or 70s, let me share with you a picture of Lurch. He’s the, you know, tall one.
And when your kid is destined to be as tall as Lurch, he grows fast. Boy Wonder is growing so tall so quickly, that any long pants I purchase for him seem to mysteriously transform into floods overnight.
They’re not the “oh, look, those pants are getting a little short on him” floods.
They’re not the “oh, look, his pants aren’t touching the tops of shoes” floods.
They’re the “SHIT, I’ve just sent my kid to school looking like an absolute doorknob” floods.
But it’s March, and to hell if I’m going to buy him new long pants when it’s about to be summer here in southern California. And the problem is, there are no pants to buy him even if I wanted to. He’s such a lanky kid that lengthwise, he needs a 10 or a 12. But his waist is barely a slim 8. My choices would be:
a) Buy him more 8s and ensure him looking like a doorknob Monday through Friday. No good.
b) Buy him size 10s and still risk him looking like a doorknob because he’ll roll the waistband of his pants over until they are thick enough to fit around his waist…..thereby rendering the longer size 10s – you guessed it – floods.
c) Buy him size 12s and have him look like a doorknob because I’d have to also buy him Mork and Mindy rainbow suspenders to keep his pants up.
(No, he will not wear a belt and yes, I have heard of adjustable waist pants. And no, they don’t adjust enough in the bigger size to fit properly).
So I have no alternative. I must become a proponent of manpris. If I can change the world’s attitude about manpris, my life gets a WHOLE lot easier.
I posted about my dilemma with my kid’s short pants on Facebook. One girlfriend told me they’re very trendy in Europe. And another girlfriend told me they’re all the rage in the Santa Monica elementary schools.
So, there’s that.
Let’s review some high profile celebs who are comfortable enough with their own manhood to wear manpris.
Lebron James does. Try telling Lebron he looks like a wussy in his manpris. Why should Boy Wonder be any different? Note: I may need to get Boy Wonder’s arms tatted up a bit. Just for the badass effect.
Nick Jonas does. I’m pretty certain he gets the babes, so this bodes very well indeed for Boy Wonder. Note to self: apparently buttoning button up shirts all the way to the neck is no longer nerdish. It’s stylish.
And then there’s Rafael Nadal. Look how cute and sporty he looks in his at the French Open. Slap a matchy-matchy headband on boy Wonder and he’d be Rafi’s doppelganger. Except for the flowing hair. And tennis skills. Okay, but they do have the same skin tone.
So this is my new crusade: to stop the rampant hatred of the manpri in this fine country of ours. Join me.
Because I really don’t want my kid on a future episode of Intervention, talking about how I ruined his childhood with too-short pants.
About the Author Gigi Ross
I'm a blogger, social media geek, mom and wife, foodie, reality TV addict and Jason Mraz fangirl. Not in that order. I write here about parenting, blogging, technology, social media and pop culture.
{ 26 comments }
This is hilarious! Thankful I have girls since they are definitely sporting that look for about another 6 weeks until shorts season!
Barbara´s last [type] ..We’re Here!
I love it! And those are cute! Let me know when the petition goes online for signatures. I’ll totally add mine.
Sili´s last [type] ..It Takes a Village: Trayvon Martin
well hey they say all you need is the confindence to pull a look off and this guys have it
becca´s last [type] ..XOXO
We have a high school kid like this in our neighborhood (Texas). Child wears shorts year-round, I suspect, because he cannot find pants slim enough nor long enough to suit him. He has done this since elementary school. So, we’ve turned him into a state-of-being, as in “Dude, are you gonna pull a Zack today? It’s 35 degrees outside!” “Hey look at THAT kid, he pulled a Zack today. I bet he forgot to do his laundry”.
Boy Wonder could just become the new state-of-being for California in his manpris.
Lea Ann´s last [type] ..Socks 50¢ a pair + ships free.
This is hilarious!! I have the same issue with my daughter. She is huge and extremely skinny, and yes I know she is a girl and can wear skirts and stuff. Well not really, we live in NYC and when it’s cold out she needs her jeans. I buy her a size 6, slim skinny jeans with the adjustable waist bands and two months later… yeap you guessed it, they are floods!! LOL
That is awesome! He is going to be the best dressed kid at school!
Anna´s last [type] ..Tell me I am not the only one!
I had to google two different terms in your title (manpris and Lebron James) before I ever read your post but now I get it:
your kid is skinny and growing fast. You don’t want to have to buy him pants.
Bless your heart.
They’ll do that, those kids of ours.
Long live manpris!! And yes, an ankle tat or two might help increase the tough quotient. Luckily for us, we can wear shorts 50 weeks a year. Of course, I laugh that the “long” shorts are never very long on my lanky guy either!
Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop.´s last [type] ..Dinner this week.
Rock the manpris! Go for it! It’ll either be a character building situation or make him a trend setter.
The silly thing is my boys will be tall, too. Mr. Kiss is 6’4″ So even at my 5’2 and a quarter” – they’ll get some height.
Lurch made me laugh.
Oh, the silly thing. Whenever their pants start getting too short, Mr. Kiss says “Hey, your shorts are a lil long!”
I’m all for the manpri. All for it!
MommaKiss´s last [type] ..BracketOlogy
My son is that super skinny kid who needs a 10 slim in the waist and a 11 (cause 12′s are too long) in length. I am so glad we are almost to summer and he can wear the super long style shorts (which look like normal length on him). But manpris, great idea, I doubt I can sell him on them.
Jacki´s last [type] ..Parents Are People Too – Tamara
This will be my life in 8-9 years. I married Lurch!
Also, back in my retail days (2000-ish) the men that worked in my store wore women’s denim capris. And at least ONE of them was a manly man. (Though he ain’t got nothin on Lebron.)
Also: good luck with that!
I actually really like that look. My husband wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole, but I love the guys that can pull it off! But if you’re going to put them on your kid, let’s do the LeBron or that cute tennis guy and skip the Nick Jonas – too Tom Sawyer-ish!
So what I got from this post was you’re getting Boy Wonder tatted up, a funky headband, and then having him grow out until Blissdom next year, in hopes that his pants will give him an in with another Jonas brother
angela´s last [type] ..Remembering His Flag
Yeah, is there anything wrong with that?
)
Hilarious Kludgy Mom,
So first off, is that really Lurch’s face? I seem to remember him differently.
Secondly, we have the same prob. but I have a daughter so the capris are more acceptable…but I say dang Lebron and Nick look like they’re rockin’ pretty good in their manpris…so maybe boy wonder will go from doorknob to ultra-cool-trend-setting kid…just sayin’.
Excellent. You should live in Charlotte. Strangely enough I saw a large group of hot men who admittedly were covered in tattoos but rocking the manpris and I almost drooled because it was a whole group of hot guys with muscles and they were nice and well, the manpris did not bother me one bit!
Brittany´s last [type] ..5 Tips for Getting Kids to Eat Right
H is rocking the man capris this spring. I refuse to buy new jeans this close to shorts season!
Missy @ Wonder, Friend´s last [type] ..Six
Of course it’s good enough! Your post made me smile with memory of a song a friend of mine who is a camp director used to sing. It goes a little something like this:
Shpants! Too long to be shorts – too short to be pants – Spants!”
My husband needs to wear these. He has great legs!
JDaniel4′s Mom´s last [type] ..Pause Life for a Moment-Preppy Girl in Pink
I think we need to start a pledge… or a Facebook group… or something. Moms For Manpris. MFM!
I’ll sign…..
Hahaha! We have the SAME issue. My husband and I are both tall and my 5 year old always looks like a (very cute) doorknob. I never heard the word “manpris” before though, so thank you! Instant lexicon. I support your crusade! Let’s start a Move-On Petition.
The Bearded Iris´s last [type] ..A Letter from My Future Self
Very interesting pictures you have here..
Great Job! I really enjoyed stopping by here..
Traxis´s last [type] ..How To Treat Gout
The oldest just turned 15 & is a hair shy of 6ft tall. His newest pants are size 30×34 & the only reason they’re 30 inch waist is b/c he needs that long of an inseam. And he weighs less than I do, but eats everything in sight.
Our issues are with shorts. He needs a small for the waist, but then? His legs are so fracking long, they don’t come close enough to his knees for his liking.
Dressing boys is a PIA.
It’s not possible a person like you will ruined his childhood with too-short pants..
Great Job!
Rylai03´s last [type] ..My Favorite Movie Streaming Sites
Just saw this! Love it! My 19 year old is 6’4″. He refuses to wear shorts that show his knees and unfortunately, all cargo shorts are TOO short for him. He has a couple pairs of manpris….and he looks really awesome in them. But I can’t find him anymore anywhere.
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