A few weeks ago, I went in for my annual gynecological exam. It was my first visit to this particular practice, and the licensed nurse practitioner handled the exam.
We got to talking about overall health in general, and I jokingly mentioned that I can be forgetful sometimes, not always “in the mood” and a few other things that I find typical to being over the age of 40.
After ordering some routine well-woman blood work to check things like cholestrol and thyroid levels, she mentioned that there’s another more advanced test I could take that could help identify whether other physiological stuff was out of balance in my system.
It sounded pretty good. I’m at midlife, after all, and if my wrinkles and sagging skin are any indicator of what’s going on INSIDE my body, it was worth a check.
On the 20th day of my cycle, I had to collect a bunch of spit samples at various times of the day and send in some pee, too. The samples got shipped off ultrafast to some lab in Wisconsin (apparently, the epicenter for cheese, the Packers, and this sort of testing).
Two weeks later, I got a call back from the LNP. I learned that this test was checking my neurotransmitter levels – things like seratonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and other stuff I only know about from watching Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
They can affect things like sleep quality, mental focus, feelings of contentment, yada yada.
It was very IMPORTANT for me to know that many of my neurotransmitter levels were seriously off.
All the ones that related to the “problems” I was joking about had levels way lower than normal.
The nurse said, “I’ll bet you’ve not been sleeping well. Feeling overstressed. Not happy, maybe even a little depressed. Like you’re walking around in a brain fog all the time.”
Note: this conversation occurred while I was still happily employed at my dream job.
“Um, actually, I’m the happiest, most balanced, and the best rested I’ve been in years right now.”
Sure, I forget stuff sometimes, and occasionally I don’t sleep great, but overall, the last 3 or 4 months had been pretty blissful for a hard-core perfectionist Type A control freak worrywart who’s careening toward the age of 50 faster than the kids from Breaking Amish could head to the nearest strip club.
The nurse said, “Well, that’s great. But the lab results show that you’re basically running on an empty fuel tank. If you’re feeling that good right now, JUST THINK about how great you could feel if we get these neurotransmitters back to normal levels!”
Well hell YEAH!, I thought. You mean I could feel not just great, but SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME? I haven’t felt that way since I had five grain alcohol margaritas in my early 20s.
“Okay, so what do I need to do?”
The nurse replied, “I have an array of natural supplements that are specifically recommended by the lab…”
and then her voice turned into the teacher from Charlie Brown. Wah, wah, wah.
This was a Thing That Makes You Go Hmm.
Let me say right now that I’m not opposed to supplements. And I’m all for natural shizz. But it kinda sounded like a bait and switch.
Still, the idea that I could feel SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME was as tempting as that dream I had last night with Jason Mraz in it.
Refocusing back on the nurse’s drone, I learned that I could take these two supplements for the low cost – ahem - of about $70 a month and within weeks I’d be that SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME version of Gigi I had forgotten ever existed.
I started fantasizing about all the projects I’d complete! The bliss I’d spread throughout the land! The nonstop sex drive my husband would love me to have!
I picked up the supplements a few days later.
The first night, I fell asleep and had a series of freaky dreams that may or may not have involved cacti, my Constitutional Law textbooks from law school, and several of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I woke up at 3 a.m. and never went back to sleep.
Same story the night afterward, only I woke up at midnight and watched Zumba infomercials and read an incredibly boring biography of Julia Child until it was time to take my morning shower.
And again the next night, and the night after that.
These supplements were life-altering alright – I hadn’t felt this ragged at the core, this zombie-like, this hungover-without-having-drank since Little CEO was a newborn.
I pondered if maybe it was because I got laid off the week I started the supplements. Surely, it was a stressor I hadn’t anticipated.
So, as a little test. I stopped taking the supplements.
Sleep. Glorious sleep, without interruption, without Theresa Guidice dreams.
I’ve decided that SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME Gigi can’t be bought with supplements or $255 (gulp) lab tests. She’s going to have to come out on her own.
Or with a little help from some grain alcohol margaritas.
Have you ever taken supplements – and what was your experience?
About the Author Gigi Ross
I'm a blogger, social media geek, mom and wife, foodie, reality TV addict and Jason Mraz fangirl. Not in that order. I write here about parenting, blogging, technology, social media and pop culture.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I have taken some with good results and some with not so good results. One made me feel great, but it also made me grow a beard.
The crazy dreams have happened to me, too.
I don’t think I’ve taken anything crazy like this. I used to take my multi-vitamins that gave me energy. Hmmm, maybe I should start taking those again.
It’s interesting because people think natural is safe or better. Um, cyanide comes from a plant and you see how good that is? Alls I’m saying is, you are already SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME.
But, if you’re going to try the whole experiment with alcohol, I’ll be there to support you!
Sili´s last [type] ..Mami Reads: One Thousand Gifts
I’ve been trying so many things lately to help with the peri-menopause crud. Progesterone, fish oils, flax seed, less carbs, more carbs, etc.
Nothing really helped except magnesium (taken right before bed) does help me sleep.
I’m opting for a basic multi-vitamin and making sure I’m never without my morning coffee.
Barbara´s last [type] ..Fitness Progress Is Slow
Grain Alcohol Margaritas? WHOA!
well.
supplements be gone!
I love when my doc says “regular sleep is really the best thing for you.”
Yah, well that isn’t happening unless I go away for a month. So what else ya got?
MommaKiss´s last [type] ..Ocsar
I also say that the best thing for making me SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME is getting enough sleep. And being around big picture thinkers. Neither of which I actually get to do on a regular basis. I do take my supplemental glass of red wine every day at 4pm. Religiously.
Lea Ann´s last [type] ..New Balance 70% off + free shipping.
Oh my goodness…you had me cracking up with this post! I’ve never taken supplements and after reading your experience with it, I can’t imagine I ever will. I think you might be onto something with the grain alcohol margaritas though. I’m in for that!
Amy @ Counting My Kisses´s last [type] ..Happiness is…new family pictures
I take plant based (not synthetic) supplements and I have to admit I feel lousy without them. They give me some extra energy and focus. But my ‘base’ is a healthy diet, we don’t eat processed foods. My health was really lousy 5 years ago when we ate mass-produced crappy food before we had kids. So much better now! I spend more time in the kitchen, but it’s worth it for the health of my family.
Anastasia @ eco-babyz´s last [type] ..Travelin’ With Baby Giveaway Hop {BobaAir and Peter Rabbit}!
I take an array of vitamins that help with mood and energy and you know, bone loss prevention and other middle-aged lady stuff. No weird side effects.
Trish´s last [type] ..It’s Here!
I tried melatonin and it was a like a freak show inside my head whenever I would start dreaming. And not in a good way.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Sum It Up {Random Thoughts}
I would have done exactly what you did – question, fantasize about being SUPER MEGA EPICALLY AWESOME and ultimately try out the supplements. I’m bummed they didn’t work cause I’d be right behind you in trying them. Also, I can’t stand that more doctors are selling supplements through their practices – a conflict of interest to me. Great post!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom´s last [type] ..A Map of My Day
Know what else works for a really good sleep? Eating junk food before bed. Seriously! I’ve been having popcorn for weeks now, and sleeping like a baby. While I was competing, and on supplements, and eating the good carbs, I felt the way you described. All hail the jelly beans!
Sandra´s last [type] ..The Complexities of Christ
Wonder how much the lab was paying them to get patients to take the tests and then the supplements? This sounds a bit shady to me. Here’s to sleeping good without any extras!
Susi´s last [type] ..Behold the power of social media and Friday fill ins…
Wow – what an experience. I used to think that everyone had the same positive reaction to certain vitamins that I did – when I take my brand faithfully, including the Omega 3, I feel like a million bucks – energy, fresh skin, plump hair, alert, well-rested and happy. Even other people notice it, that’s how good it is. But when I recommended it to other people it made almost no difference to them. Most of them. Mine cost about 70€ a month but it’s worth it to me to feel good, but I would never bank on someone else having the same reaction.
Lady Jennie´s last [type] ..Stuff You Didn’t Know