Are you a strong mom? Do you brave parenting with the confidence of a battlefield general? Yeah, most of us don’t, huh? We seek parenting advice from everywhere and end up more confused than when we started. Chris from The Mom Cafe writes today about her own journey on how to find confidence in parenting.
I always believed motherhood was objective. There were books and courses and instructions and rules. It was a science I knew nothing about and I entered the journey terrified of getting the infamous equation right. It was a desperate attempt on a daily basis, of seeking the right facts and figures and listening to all the experts in the market. It was always a constant struggle to do the “right thing”, according to the laws of parenting. With every misstep, I would crumble in fatigue and confusion. Every detail of caring for a child was mapped out with guidelines and lists and critical reminders that I was not meeting the criteria of being a good mom.
Bottle or breast?
Co-sleep or crib?
Organic or processed?
Cloth diapers or disposable?
Vaccinations or not?
Cold or flu?
How to feed, sleep, pick schools, encourage development, nap and even dress my little beloved creation…
Oh the list goes on and on, well into each stage and season of our children’s lives. Each turn in the tumultuous path welcomed new information and answers and theories and directives… that always led to frustration and quiet turmoil within my desperate attempt to do this right. I never did get it right. I still don’t.
Along this winding road of questioning my ability as a mom, I slowly realized the critical and significant truth of it all…
Motherhood isn’t objective at all.
It’s all relative: “Considered in relation or in proportion to something else”.
As the days and weeks and months and years streamed together with constant contemplation over every tiny detail of my ability to parent… I slowly disengaged from the pursuit of the legalities in it all. The gripping bondage of my insecurities and questioning slowly slipped each day, as I realized that those rules and instructions were merely all “considered in relation or in proportion to something else”.
I am officially liberated from those chains of defeating insufficiency. I have grown confident in my right to choose and parent how I see fit. And those books and courses and opinions of others, will be read and absorbed and sometimes carefully considered. But the ultimate decisions about caring for my children are made solely by me.
I am worthy of that.
And Lord knows, my own instructions and rules slip in and out like a waterslide or mudslide… depending on the trial.
But that’s okay.
I embrace my purpose with quiet dignity and above all, grace.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if everyone else did too? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all realized that our walks on the parenting path were all relative and the only truth we needed dwelled within us all? Oh, I dare to dream of a time when judgments were replaced with acceptance, and passionate arguments were replaced with loving sentiments.
There simply is no right or wrong.
It’s all relative.
Chris Carter is a SAHM of two pretty amazing grade school kids. She has been writing at The Mom Cafe for over two years, where she hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration and faith. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Google+.
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Christine Carter | http://themomcafe.com
Stephanie Totty | http://froggyandthemouse.com
Jessica Watson | http://www.fourplusanangel.com
Debbie Anderson | http://www.sandiegomomma.com
Nicole Hempeck | http://www.momentsthatdefinelife.com
Tina Seitzinger | http://www.lifewithoutpink.com
Ashley Fitting | http://www.itsfitting.com
Robin Farr | http://www.farewellstranger.com