Imagine if you could spend the entire summer at a remote cabin on the beach with a bunch of girlfriends. In the evenings, you’d gather around a bonfire, maybe with a glass of wine, and share in great conversation and the exchange of ideas. It could be really inspiring and amazing. That was the genesis of my second annual summer guest post series, Around the Bonfire. Since we can’t spend the summer together in person, we can do it virtually.
So another group of talented writers is here to share their thoughts on topics that are important to women every Wednesday, all summer long. I know you will enjoy this series if today’s kickoff guest is any indication.
Jessica from Four Plus An Angel inspires me with her beautiful writing. As a woman who has struggled with and overcome so many obstacles, she always brings an amazing perspective to any topic she writes about. Today, she’s talking about a topic with which I constantly struggle: aging. Gather round the bonfire to hear what Jessica has to say about getting older gratefully.
———————————————————–
I have a confession.
I actually like getting older.
Like, have been waiting for it, will never complain about a birthday, like it.
I became a mom very young and I spent years envying moms who were older than me, moms who were “supposed to be” moms.
I envied how they new exactly what they needed at the grocery store, how a waitress would look to them to rattle off the orders of all of the children filling a noisy table, how they were regarded in the workforce, called Mrs. or Mam more often than Sweetie or Honey.
Many years later, although I can’t say I’m a fan of “Mam” I appreciate every bit of the respect that comes with age.
I am happy to not be dating or apartment hunting or job surfing. I’m content to cuddle up to a good book on a Friday night and order in take out and a movie with my husband on a Saturday.
Laugh lines and crow’s feet and the deflating of, um, everything, have taken me by surprise but I’m okay with it. I can’t say I don’t miss my 20 year-old figure but I wouldn’t dream of going back to reclaim it.
I could totally do without the responsibilities of paying bills and figuring out what is for dinner every. single. night. but the confidence in my decisions, the respect I am given as a parent and the ability to coupon my way through the grocery store with my eyes closed leaves me perfectly comfortable with the next birthday that rolls around.
Sometimes I wonder if women realize the confidence they exude as they age, the presence a younger me could not wait to gain.
I hope you do.
I hope that as you cook a dinner that no one is going to eat any way or try to find a wrinkle cream that doesn’t make your eyes burn or refuse to wear white because tiny hands will cover it with goo before 10 am, that you take pride in your place in life.
Good choices, bad haircuts, store-wandering, parallel parking attempts, spit up catching and menu speed-reading have made up the years that have brought us to the women we over-criticize in the mirror each day.
So I have to admit, I cringe a little when women wish away birthdays because we’ve earned them… every single candle. And one of these days when I have enough for a blow torch to light, I hope to be surrounded by women who want to live to be 100 too and also for an extra cake, with extra icing because I’m eating the whole thing, all by myself. I’ll be long over the loss of my bikini bod by then.
—————
Jessica Watson is a freelance writer, blogging her way through the loss of her daughter, autism, life with multiples and everything else in between. You can find her at Four Plus an Angel, on twitter, facebook and always, always on Pinterest.
About the Author Gigi Ross
I'm a blogger, social media geek, mom and wife, foodie, reality TV addict and Jason Mraz fangirl. Not in that order. I write here about parenting, blogging, technology, social media and pop culture.
{ 47 comments }
I loved this post Jessica! It’s funny because just this week I was teally feeling my 30s in a good way. For all of the reasons you said
Katrina @ In Katrina’s Kitchen´s last [type] ..Picnic Tablecloth Cookies {A Virtual Memorial Day Potuck with Celebrations}
I’ve been totally happy with being in my 30′s and the confidence it has brought, hope it continues for both of us!
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
Thank you for your great perspective and reminder. I’m a breast cancer survivor and was thrust into menopause way to early and have the greatest daily angst about how my body is turning against me now that all my estrogen is gone. It’s another reminder to count blessings in a beautiful post!
Congratulations on being a survivor Diane, starting menopause early must have been so difficult. Truly appreciate you reading!
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
Love the way you found the upside to something that society thinks only has downsides. I’ll look at my life differently because of your words…Thanks for the positivity
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Organization: Can it be taught?
So glad that I was able to give you a different perspective, I always feel like I’m the only one happy with this whole aging thing
.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
I also love my birthdays and growing older. Like every year is a new stage of my life. I could however do with less wrinkles and gray hairs.
Barbara´s last [type] ..Love and acceptance
Just wait – your 40′s are even better. My best friend turns 50 today and she loves the woman she is now. Love this. xo
tracy@sellabitmum´s last [type] ..50
I hope so and I just read your post about her, what a tribute to an amazing lady.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
I will try to remember this when I have my birthday in August
Seriously, you are 100 percent right, though it took me longer to realize it. I THOUGHT I would have a hard time with different milestones, but I am starting to understand that I won’t. I’ve worked hard to get here, so why should I be ashamed of the time I’ve put in?
(And after our sitting around the bonfire, let’s retreat to a comfortably clean hotel with a great restaurant and pedicures.)
angela´s last [type] ..Not Just Jeans
Absolutely, I should have clarified with Gigi that this bonfire is outside a hotel or at least a glamping site.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
What we give up in leaner lines and smoother faces, hopefully we make up for with kindness and compassion.
We hope.
Absolutely. I really, really don’t want to grow old and bitter.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
I’m totally with you on this, Jessica. I’ve always viewed birthdays as something to be grateful for – I’m still here, I’m alive, and I have a new year to look forward to. I’m much more comfortable in my skin now, in my soon-to-be-late-30′s, than I ever was in my 20′s.
Alison@Mama Wants This´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday: Two Weeks Old
The key to feeling young and in shape is to hang out with older fatter people. It’s one of the rules I live by.
Great post!
Your Friend, m.
Love you my crazy friend.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
My post today is Growing old gracefully – except mine is more of the extinguished and not as filled with grace as yours
beautiful words my dear, i wouldn’t trade my life for the world … but would love a soft focus lens wherever i go!
By Word of Mouth Musings´s last [type] ..Growing old gracefully
You know I think I have a soft focus lens, it’s one of the things that Hadley gave me when she left us. I’m not always positive and upbeat but I do see the good in things much more clearly.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Girl Talk
I’m similar in that a loss truly makes you appreciate the gift of growing older. I lost a sibling – which I won’t compare to you losing Hadley – but he never got to see his 18th birthday. to me, every day I’m alive is a gift.
MommaKiss´s last [type] ..Your legacy…
Couldn’t agree more, loss makes you truly appreciate every day.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Superhero in my house
I love every single word of this.
(And the way that you embrace your age? Is evident in your insideandoutside beauty.)
Galit Breen´s last [type] ..Sunshine and Cookies and Friendship
Aww, thank you so much Galit.
I totally GET this. I never mind a birthday. I’ve been a fuddy-duddy for years. I stopped liking the “club” scene well before I should have and people always thought it was strange that I stayed in on the weekends when the rest of my peers were getting hammered and making fun, drunken memories. I literally rejoiced turning 30 because I thought people would stop hassling me about it.
Even my parents make fun of how boring I’ve always been. But now that I’ve graduated past that part of agin, I find the crow’s feet and the different texture of my skin to be kind of cool. I’m no looker, so it’s not like I’ve lost my “hotness”. I lost that about 11 years ago, and that’s helped the aging process maybe. 
Agreed! I’ve almost been counting down until 30, as I hate being the therapist that is “so young.” Somehow 30 makes that better, right? LOL. Celebrate those candles! You earned them!
jenn @ so this is love´s last [type] ..My Armor
I did everything late and now cherish each year I have with my guys! The 40′s have been my best decade yet.
JDaniel4′s Mom´s last [type] ..Accidentally Creating a Star?
Perfectly written! I absolutely do notice the confidence in older women and I am loving my new found rise in that area. I never really was a confident person. The wrinkles, the tired eyes, they bother me, but are worth the respect and confidence others have in me and what I have in myself.
Great series, Gigi!
What a beautiful perspective, Jessica. And what a great person to kick off the series, Gigi!
Missy | Literal Mom´s last [type] ..Service or Self?
I became a mom in my early 20′s. I’m enjoying everything that comes with each year. More stability, better planning. It’s like every year more things fall into place. I don’t mind growing older either – its about how old you feel!
Life As Wife´s last [type] ..Unconventional Picnic
Well I love my birthday. Its my favorite “holiday” though I don’t necessarily love the getting older bit. I still crave a figure that I had (and acknowledge that I will likely crave the figure I have now at some point in the future), the thing that bothers me is the concept that its almost over. Yes, life is always at the brink and you never know when it is your last day. But the older you get the possibilities seem to shrink. There are so many things I haven’t done yet and the concept that I may never do them is what really frightens me.
Marta´s last [type] ..High. Higher. Highest.
What a lovely and wise post. Thank you Gigi for introducing us. I look forward to the many great friends you will be sharing with us.
Dana
Dana @ Bungalow’56´s last [type] ..A Family Photo… Is Always Worth The Pain
You’re so right. Birthdays are events to be celebrated, not for the day it signifies, but for everything we’ve accomplished since. Sometimes I think it’s just the cool thing to do to despise your birthday. As I age, it makes me strive to keep myself healthy so that I can later say, “I’m XX years old, and I feel great!”
Leigh Ann´s last [type] ..Don’t give your laptop a bath
This is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you. Birthday nowhere in sight, just groaning over the baby blues belly and the grey hair.
I do love the confidence I have though.
Lady Jennie´s last [type] ..Bof
I LOVE IT! What a wonderful perspective and one that I needed to hear. Really a great way to look at things!
Kate F. @katefineske´s last [type] ..Stick-to-it-ness and Overwhelming-itis
Jess, I’m with you. I’m okay with getting older. Maybe not the loss of the 20 y/o body, but I’ve become so much more comfortable with who I am as I’ve gotten older.
Aging Gratefully. Love it.
I always think about Celia on my birthday, not because we share the birth day, but because she won’t have any more. And I remember how lucky I am that I will.
from Maya Angelou: Mostly, what I have learned so far about aging, despite the creakiness of one’s bones or the cragginess of one’s once-silken skin, is this – Do it. By all means, do it.
you don’t mind getting older because you’re a hot MILF…
whereas I could roll quarters in the stretch marks on my inner thighs and I have to sling my boobs over my shoulders in the shower to properly wash…
Not a Perfect Mom´s last [type] ..An Example Of When Kids Suck
You are crazy and lucky to have boobs that big.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Superhero in my house
I ADORE this! I will be 29 this year….but I really wish I was already in my thirties! I can’t wait for the maturity of it. I’ve always been more comfortable lounging around in pajamas on weekend nights and in my early twenties I felt like that made me “lame.” Wasn’t I supposed to be out at bars? With an older age finally comes an acceptance of who I really always wanted to be. (Although, I do really miss the pre-baby body. This post-baby body thing is disturbing.)
I stopped having birthdays after I turned 25 bit that doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate the day that my white ass graced this earth with my ridiculousness.
I fear the numbers.
But I do love that every year I grow a bit stronger wiser and wider and that’s a good thing.
Great post friend. So excited to see you here xoxo
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Mom Jacked Up My Junk At The “Dirty Park”
Life’s another name is learning and no doubt in that according to the time when you are going some more elder then you are learn that kind of things which is really helpful to live a smart life.
Goa trip´s last [type] ..Goa Holiday Packages
I am with you – getting older is just fine with me. I have to confess my rationale is slightly (ok, maybe a lot) more morbid. I am not going to do anything to speed it up but I want to be closer to the day that I will be with my 2 sons who have predeceased me. I still treasure every moment with my 2 who I have here with me but getting older does not bother me at all.
Lanie´s last [type] ..Planning & Hoping
At 43 (and no, I don’t cringe to admit that age) I couldn’t agree more.
Except I do because I’m even older than you.
So yeah. I agree MORE.
Life just keeps getting better…
and the glow of Gigi’s bonfire doesn’t hurt.
Great kick off to the series, my beautiful friends.
Love you both!
I freakin’ love my birthday. Love it. I think it should be a national holiday. The # doesn’t bother me at all – and I’ve always been pretty confident in myself. I’m not saying in appearance, but in who I am. Guess my momma did something right to raise me up, eh?
love your perspective from having to ‘grow up’ so young with your babe…and I’ll 100% agree, you age very well
MommaKiss´s last [type] ..Your legacy…
Growing old has never bothered me either. It is way better than the alternative.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Softball is over!
Oh, I just love this. And I totally think that where you are currently in life is an extremely desirable place to be. You have shed all your insecurities and are settled comfortably in your skin. What a wonderful thing that must be
Thanks for sharing your words here, Jessica. Wonderful as always to read them. XOXO
Charlotte´s last [type] ..a week with Pedro
I have no issue with aging either and for many of the reasons you listed. And I’m SO over having babies (of my own, I still love babies!) and I’m happy watching my kids grow up too. Let’s celebrate ALL the birthdays with joy!
Two of my favorite people in the same place, what?!
I love this, what a great attitude. And just what I needed to read as 40 is fast approaching. And when I say fast, I mean in like DAYS. Gulp.
Tonya´s last [type] ..Vacation Highlights
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }