Sometimes, holidays don’t always repeat the traditions of your childhood. Liz from A Belle, A Bean, and a Chicago Dog writes about how she and her husband have created some traditions of their own. Liz is a fellow south-suburban native Chicagoan as well as an Italian-Polish gal, just like me. I am very grateful for her support these past few months and am excited to have her post here today!
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Growing up, Thanksgiving just seemed like a speed bump on the road to Christmas. It was a day to dress up, have a formal dinner that took hours to prepare and see lots of extended family. Sure, my mom makes a mean broccoli casserole and I loved pouring a gallon of gravy on my homemade mashed potatoes, but Thanksgiving just never had the glitz and glam and lights and music and spirit like Christmas. It was much ado about nothing if you ask me.
Craig and I moved out of Illinois and away from all our friends and family in the summer of 2003. That fall we decided that we’d travel back home for Christmases, but not Thanksgivings. From that point forward, we were making Thanksgiving *our* special holiday and booked a trip to Philadelphia to celebrate.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit Thanksgiving 2004 did, in fact, involve family. We had moved into our first house in May of that year and we invited my parents and brother down to Memphis for my first attempt at hosting and cooking (with the extensive help of my mother) Thanksgiving in my home.
Thanksgiving 2005 was family-free and a Thanksgiving of many firsts. For starters, we celebrated it with our friends, Carla and Travis. Second, the guys made their first attempt at deep frying a turkey, while we women made sure they had fire extinguishers close by.
Third, I was very pregnant with my very first baby. Kate Elizabeth was born 3 weeks later!
Feel free to insert your own “stuffed bird” joke here.
Thanksgiving 2006 was another fabulous Friends and Fried Fowl celebration, and we feared all of our jeans-clad, laid-back, family-free turkey time would be lost when we moved to New Hampshire in 2007. But it turns out that we are good at making friends because our neighbors invited us, along with some of their other New England-transplanted friends, over for a pot luck style Thanksgiving. Sure, it wasn’t fried turkey, but it was no stress, really yummy and lots of fun.
2008 brought our return to Memphis, and 2009, another Thanksgiving with another baby ready to pop… but this time for our friends, Carla and Travis! Like good Southerners, we resumed our fried turkey tradition that year, too.
What I’ve learned in the past 7 years (and 3 interstate relocations) is that it’s OK to create your own holiday traditions. Those traditions may not be the “norm” for many people, but they are yours and that’s what makes them special.
Moving away from your family means that your friends fill that gap, and the added bonus of spending the holidays with your friends is that the holidays tend to be a lot more fun! No more worries about crotchety old Aunt Sophie spoiling the festive mood nor the tension between 2 cousins who aren’t on speaking terms possibly ruining everyone’s meal. Holidays with friends means you can wear what you want, cook what you want, and invite who you want; what could be more enjoyable than that?
So, have I convinced you to call up your neighbors and deep fry a turkey?
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{ 28 comments }
You have convinced me. Actually, I need no convincing. Thanksgiving has always been at my house for the last bazillion years and my family is the size of the Duggars, without the mullets, and so even though it’s fun, it gets a little wearing.
My husband decided a few years back, I needed a break and since no one else volunteered to take the reigns, we went out of town, up to the mountains with friends.
It was wonderful.
This year we’re hitting New Orleans. I am quite excited. Now we don’t do this every year, because my kids love the traditions of me slaving away and making all their favorites, but it’s nice to do every once and awhile. Beignets, here I come!
joann Mannix´s last [type] ..Hang On Banditos—Your Drug Mules On Her Way
Woo hoo! Thanks so much for hosting the series and for hosting ME! Also…totally love the Dego-Polack shout.
We gals gotta stick together! Thank you for posting
Actually, yes. I totally want to deep fry a turkey.
I want to do this, which is why you should set the table for an extra 5 come Thursday, and please do answer your doobell.
Thank you
Liz, you’ve made me want to ditch my family for Thanksgiving and go fry a turkey. You are good!
It’s so cool to hear everyone’s traditions.
Christina´s last [type] ..The Blogging Mavens-a belle- a bean & a chicago dog
The fryer will be delivered tomorrow, baby!
It’s always been my husband’s dream. I hope we don’t need those fire extinguishers.
Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last [type] ..Before and After- The railing
I’m a little sad that there’s not one picture of the amibiguously gay duo here.
KLZ´s last [type] ..Flip Off
I do prefer the laid-back Thanksgivings, though this Southern girl still prefers to roast a Turkey. How else do you make the gravy??? I *need* those drippings to make good gravy!! And gravy is truly the only reason I put up with all the nonsense anyway!
p.s. LOVE the pic of the stuffed bird!!!!
Totally have deep fried a turkey. But now I’m picturing your belly in that pot. How freakin nutty is that?? I mean, look at it. It would fit right in there.
Big fan of creating your own traditions. And friends are the ‘family you choose’ so Win Win!
Liz,
I couldn’t agree with you more. I moved from my family several years ago and since then Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday. Just me with my boys and the Turkey trot. I love it!
Hmmmm…frying a turkey sounds exciting!
I definitely love adopting friends as family, but not my neighbors (shudder.) I would actually prefer my bi-polar cousin and type A perfectionist aunt to my neighbors. Which says something about my neighbors, because aforementioned aunt doesn’t believe in using butter in the Thanksgiving mashed potatoes
angela´s last [type] ..Budget Crunch
My hubs is very big on the frying or turkeys. Because I am “special” not only am I not allowed to help, I’m not even allowed to be in the backyard when he’s frying them.
No family sounds friggin fantastic right about now. Yes I am the genius that thought eleven days of family culminating in Thanksgiving would be a great idea…I’m a turkey!
Deep fried bird, sounds delish…one year…
Yuliya´s last [type] ..Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego
WOW! That’s a lot of moving. And Fried turkey! Didn’t even know that was possible!
We are headed home for Thanksgiving to see my family; first time at this holiday in years. Not sure I that excited. My family has big plans and lots of outings scheduled. I think I will miss the relaxing quiet time that we normally have. But then we have added another kid since last year so maybe that quiet time was gone anyway!
I think it’s possible friends stop friends from frying turkeys and save the many lives that would have been lost in a tragic explosion. But different families have different sayings.
My favorite Thanksgivings have been those potlucks with friends: talking about family traditions without having to put up with family; trying new dishes; not being the little sister stuck doing the dishes.
Thanks for reminding me of some fun times.
This year I’m hoping for a trip to Monterrey Bay Aquarium w/ the toddler…OH and a NorCal Bloggers meet up! And for that I am thankful.
I have never tried deep frying a turkey, but it sounds good! This was a great post for me to read. My family will be out of state this Thanksgiving, so we are planning to celebrate it with close friends. This will be a first for us! Thanks for sharing your story…and that cute baby bump picture!
Kelley´s last [type] ..Developing Creative Content for Your Blog
I cannot believe you deep fried a turkey! I have never heard of that!
That’s the one thing I haven’t tried but would LOVE to. It’s definitely tempting but seeing as we lack the equipment this year and we’re in a Thanksgiving limbo (canceled plans to spend the holiday with good friends due to a crisis at home), we just may go the no-turkey route this year as it’ll just be the three of us… Maybe we’ll see about deep frying a whole chicken instead. Hmm…somehow it just doesn’t sound as enticing or exciting.
Too fun! I couldn’t agree more that friends fill the family gap well (sometimes better). Happy Thanksgiving!
NotJustAnotherJennifer´s last [type] ..Happy First Birthday- Baby R
First of all Liz, your belly? Friggen adorable.
Since my husband is a half breed (Canadian Dad and American Mom) I am lucky enough to have thanksgiving twice. One year my Mother in-law thought it would be a great idea to fry the turkey and the men concurred. The very drunk men concurred. So there they were, beers in hand…the piece de la resistance hanging from a hook…and they dropped her in and fried that betch crispy…too crispy. Ok, it was totally disgusting.
Anyways, the following year, they wanted to give the fryer a go but we, the non-drinkers strongly opposed.
Ok, this was a totally long response. I apologize.
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Prescription To Breathe
I’d love to be able to spend holidays with just friends.. More fun, less stress. Unfortunately, it’s not gonna happen in this lifetime since all of our family is here.
And yes, fried turkey is awesome.
Hi Liz and Gigi! This is such a lovely rememberance of your holidays. I truly believe that making your own traditions makes the holiday special for you and you own it instead of borrowing it from your folks! I love the baby in belly picture! All the best!~ alex
alex@amoderatelife´s last [type] ..Tackling Bittman…Letting His Beef Stew!
I would burn down the entire city if I deep fried a turkey.
You were an adorable preggo.
SurferWife´s last [type] ..I do eyedews- do you want to eyedew- too
I grew up in Canada so when I moved to the US (MANY moons ago) I was orphaned at Thanksgiving. I’ve been hosted by many friends and neighbors over the years, participated in many pot lucks and have enjoyed them all. No fried turkey for me. I’ve tried turkey every which way over the years but roasted with chestnut stuffing (what my mother always makes for Canadian Thanksgiving and Christmas) still beats them all for me! Things didn’t change much when I married a Southerner who doesn’t eat meat. We live 3000 miles away from family and every year are graciously hosted by friends.
I have heard say from my southern friends that a deep fried turkey is the only way to go. Someday, I may get up the nerve to try this. And I will have the fire extinguisher nearby just in case.
I love the idea of creating some of our own traditions. For the past 12 years we have done a fondue dinner on Christmas Eve with family friends. The kids have grown up with this and have come to expect it. We tried to change the date one year to include another family, but the kids were so against breaking this Christmas Eve tradition that we had to honor their sense of tradition. BTW….I love fried turkeys!!! Have a great Thanksgiving:)
ZippyChix´s last [type] ..Scrapbooking for Beginners
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