Chances are, you’ll read today’s post about body image and sex and say, “me too!”
Elaine from The Miss-Elaineous Life is letting her negative body image get the best of her right now. I’ll bet this has happened to you too. Read, comment and join the live discussion happening today.
Bringing Sexy Back: Elaine’s View
I have struggled with weight and body image issues the majority of my life. I have also had what I would consider non-major “food issues” for most of that time as well. These days I eat fairly healthy but I like food a lot and especially the kind that is not necessarily the best for me.
When I was in my teens I was a size 8 or 10 and of course I thought I was fat. Because there were girls who were smaller than me and did not have as big of legs or as big of a bootie as me.
Oh man, what I wouldn’t give to have that body back!
BUT (no pun intended), I also know that for me anyway, that body is history because DUH, I am 38 and I have had three kids and the DNA is not stacked in my favor. And all of these things take their toll, mentally and physically.
A couple of years ago I had gotten my body to a place I was really happy with. I was running quite a bit, training for races and I even completed my only (so far) half marathon. I had adapted my diet to include mostly “good carbs” and I lost 30 pounds in a matter of about 10 months. I was doing well.
But I slipped out of those good eating habits and then my ankle decided to not cooperate in the running department and oh, Lookee Here, I am back up 20 unwanted pounds!
And I am pissed about it.
Not only am I pissed about my clothing going back up 2 sizes and the extra dimples on my body but I am pretty insecure about my body in general, even with my husband of 13 plus years.
I was just SO proud of what I had accomplished back in 2011. And I looked DAMN good, so now I think I look DAMN bad.
And even though I know my man loves me no matter what, it does not stop my mind from going there…
I mean, certainly he enjoyed having sex with me much more when I was thinner.
It does not stop me from thinking down about myself even though I know he still desires me.
And unfortunately, it does not stop me from dismissing his compliments and his “baby you look good”s and his pats on my butt.
Instead I internally roll my eyes and think “there is no way he can actually think I look good like this” because I myself do not think that I do.
At this point I feel like I either need to commit to changing things back, by getting back to eating and exercising like I know I should, or simply accept myself as I am.
But neither seems like an option right now and here I am stuck, feeling like I cannot bring on the full sexy.
And some of you may have never experienced this and if not I am SO very happy for you because it can drive you to the point of not even being able to get “frisky”. So then, neither can your partner because they sense something is wrong and well, of course they also sense your non-friskiness (I know, I am making up words) and it quickly becomes a vicious cycle of nobody-is-frisky and well, that is (with the risk of sounding silly for rhyming) “risky”.
Did you catch all that?
I know. It’s complicated.
The short story is that I sincerely wish I felt more comfortable with my body so I could give off the vibe of sexy confidence all the time but unfortunately that is not where I am right now.
However, I AM working on it and in my pursuit to get there I am realizing that in order to find my happy place the journey is in fact two-fold. It includes both adapting my ways of thinking AND generally changing my ways in regards to eating and exercising.
I believe I can get there again but it is going to take some work on my part to bring the sexy back… even though according to my husband, it never left.
Elaine Alguire is the multi-tasker behind The Miss Elaine-ous Life and a full-time wife to one great guy and mom of three amazing kids. When not wrangling children she’s taking photographs (and posting many to Instagram!), writing or out running (both literally and figuratively). You can also find her updating her blog Facebook page or tweeting as @elainea.
Bringing Sexy Back: Watch The Live Discussion
Now watch Elaine and other women talk about how body image can affect your sexual relationship on G+ Hangouts on Air!
Elaine Alguire | http://www.misselaineouslife.com/
Dani Walker | http://www.suburbiainterrupted.com
Chloe Jeffreys | http://generationfabulous.com
Natalie Chiles | http://www.nataliechiles.com
Pauline Campos | http://www.girlbodypride.com
August McLaughlin | http://www.augustmclaughlin.com/
Malia Carden | http://twitter.com/justmalia