If you’re not going to BlogHer, and you feel left out, read my post on why I passed on BlogHer last year. Not that I was sour grapes or anything. I have serious conference jealousy.
If you are going to BlogHer ’11 and you’re worried about it? This post is for you.
I should first fully disclose that I’ve never been to BlogHer. But I’ve been to three blog conferences in the last 10 months. I have been to so many sessions about “working with brands” that I am qualified to be a speaker.
I have plenty of qualms and insecurities getting ready for a conference. And I’ve pored over posts about what to wear and what to bring and how to network. There are some great posts all about that stuff.
This is not one of those posts. This is the plain truth – 5 plain truths – about blog conferences and what you need to know for reals.
5 Plain Truths About BlogHer ’11
1. It’s a blog conference, not a Miss America pageant.
BlogHer is like the U.N., only with more estrogen. It doesn’t matter what you wear. I’ve seen people at conferences that are more bedazzled than a Reba McIntire backup singer, and I’ve seen people who look like they’ve been rode hard and put away wet. I’ve not seen anyone shunned, laughed at or otherwise acknowledged for their choice in fashion, good or bad. It’s all good.
GET OVER IT!
2.You will not meet everyone you want to meet.
You will have chatted up dozens of people on Twitter and said, “can’t wait to meet you at BlogHer!” You won’t get around to meeting everyone, unless you have plan not to eat, sleep, drink or be merry the entire time. Be thrilled with who you DO get to meet.
GET OVER IT!
3. Someone will introduce themselves to you, and you will have no idea who they are.
Rejoice, because this will be the one moment that you will feel what it’s like to be a Big Blogger. Further rejoice because you’re not a Big Blogger, and you don’t have to have awkward moments like this on a daily basis. You will feel totally embarrassed. Then, you will go up to someone and say,” OMG! I tweet with you on Twitter” and THEY won’t recognize YOU.
GET OVER IT!
4. There will be at least one point where you find yourself with no one to talk to.
The dreaded “OMG I don’t know anybody here!!!” moment, where it feels like EVERYBODY in the room knows somebody but you and that really sucks and you wonder why you ever came to this damn conference when it cost you $1,000 and you could have stayed at home and drank wine and not been stressed out. I’ve seen even Big Bloggers walk into a room and not see someone they know right away…I see the hesitation flash across their eyes. {Hint: Big Bloggers Are Real People Too.}
Just go sit at a table with a couple of people. They’ll probably talk to you. And if they don’t? Well, this, my friends, is why God created smart phones and Twitter. Get on your damn phone and fake call somebody or Tweet yourself through it.
GET OVER IT!
5. A Big Blogger is probably not going to want to talk to you for an hour.
You’ve worked up all of your nerve to go approach that huge blogger you’ve been following forever. You envision her asking you about your blogging goals and perhaps introducing you to the senior editor at the Huffington Post or some other publication. You plan to be her new BFF and have a circle of Big Blogger BFFs to hang out with.
Well, listen. A Big Blogger may not be that interested in talking with you for an hour. They may not invite you to sit at their table.
Are you going to define your experience by what a big blogger did or didn’t do for you? They’re just there to hang with their peeps too. HANG WITH YOUR PEEPS and be happy to do so. And be happy that the Big Blogger isn’t racing to her attorney’s office to file a restraining order against you because you seemed really creepy.
GET OVER IT!
Do you sense a pattern here? Get over it. Get over your nervousness. Get over your expectations. Get over those negative voices that tell you “don’t do that” in your head. Get over it.
Have fun.
For more plain truths about BlogHer, go visit Cheryl at Mommypants.
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{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
These are great tips! BlogHer will be my first blogging conference–I’m thinking it won’t be like a bar association conference. But other than that, it sounds like it should be fun!
Hope you have a great time!
I make fake phone calls all the time. It’s good to feel I’m not alone.
I’m a huge proponent. You have no idea how much I use it at the elementary school or at Target when I see people approaching I don’t want to talk to.
The only had thing about fake phone calls is when your phone really rings in the middle of these said phone calls.
Not that I know from experience or anything.
Oh my goodness, I’m going to Bloggy Boot Camp in Chicago next month and reading this just made me sick to my stomach. You mean, not everyone is going to recognize me and fawn all over me? LOL #BBCCHI will be smaller than BlogHer so I think it might be more noticeable if someone isn’t hanging out with a group of people or if they’re sitting alone. Yes, I’ll admit it, I may be one of those people, but I hope not. =)
BBC is great because they have mandatory seating assignments that rotate during each session. You meet new people each time and no one is stuck alone. It’s a great first conference.
Thanks for the shout-out, babe!
And you make very good points. I only wanted to meet one Big Blogger at BlogHer last year and I met her and she was amazing. Otherwise, I hung with my peeps – and met some great new ones, too. If you stand in a corner, you won’t meet anyone. Guaranteed!
I’m hanging with you. I’m actually going to be your personal Klingon.
Can’t wait to have fun with my peeps!
Ohhhhh yeah!! Can’t wait!
Love it! Great post & you are sooo right. We all just need to get over it. It’s like being all freaked out before a dinner party because your house isn’t perfect. No one notices but you so GET OVER IT!
Exactly! No one notices but you. Perfect.
Great post. EVO was my first conference and I’m glad I had a chance to sort out all the goods and bads so I can really enjoy BlogHer.
yes…I am glad i went to several smaller conferences first!!! great to meet you there, BTW!
Totally with you on this. I’ve never been to a blog conference but I posted my philosophy, which was basically, “I’m going to learn, meet people and have fun. The end.” Actually, that was it, almost verbatim.
So glad to hear someone else reinforce the idea of just going with it.
It’s only after spending time before 3 blog conferences worrying unnecessarily that I was able to get to this place. it may be a process that people just have to go through…but I am trying to save at least ONE person some angst!
Thanks for these tips. With all of the chatter online, it easily ramps up the jitters. I’ll be sure to keep an extra battery for my smart phone in my purse for my fake dials.
I am a big fan of the fake dial!!!
If you don’t know who I am, I’m gonna kick your ass.
Hahah! Erin, you rock.
Bahaha! You’ll probably kick my ass anyway.
Love it! I won’t be at #BlogHer11 this year and have been thinking about the bottles of wine that will get me through it. This post has tamed me down, a bit!
Anyway, you are right. BlogHer11 isn’t the end all, be all. Life will go one whether you go or don’t go.
I get jealous and worked up over every conference I can’t attend. Then a week after it’s over, all is back to normal!
I am looking forward to BlogHer this year…it is my first time. I’m afraid of being a total geek! But, I will put on a smile and try my best!
I hope I DO get a chance to meet you Gigi, and have a glass of vino.
me too!!!! It’s coming up fast!
This will be my first conference ever.
I can see where meeting people like ones’ self, bloggers, can be addicting.
I can see how that can happen.
I don’t know that I find it addicting…I do enjoy meeting all of the people I’ve talked with for so long online, in person. The excitement of meeting friends, for me, is tempered by the realization that there truly are 3 million bloggers out there and I am a piece of krill. Plankton. It’s a very humbling thing – in a good way.
Oh, gosh, no. I didn’t mean you. I’m talking about ME!! I”m the one that feels already addicted to being with those like me.
I’m the one that knows she won’t want to come home. It’ll be so great being among those that get my joy and passion.
I hope you have a blast and can’t wait to meet you!
First, I loved your post on why you didn’t go to BlogHer last year. Will be linking to that one in the coming weeks since I won’t be going to BlogHer this year.
And secondly, even if I was going to BlogHer this year, I don’t think I’d be nervous about it, if only out of sheer cluelessness and naivete. For one thing, I was only recently clued in that fashion is a Really Big Deal at blogging conference. As for not knowing anyone or not having anyone to sit with… puaha! I’d be so lost just trying to figure out the damn sessions, not to mention finding my way around San Diego, that I doubt I’d have time to worry about that other stuff. Same goes with the evening parties – I’d be up in my room, curled up in the corner in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, too exhausted to even worry about it. I’m usually in bed by 9pm as it is.
And given all of THAT, yeah… chatting up Big Bloggers would be the least of my concerns.
So basically, I guess i’m all set for NEXT year!
I struggle with the late evenings as well. I’d rather be sleeping.
Get over it is going to be my new mantra in life! Such great points you’ve shared and so so true. I’m fresh off my first (very small) blogging conference and won’t be going to BlogHer this year, but I did learn a lot about people at the conference. I’d say the only thing I’d add to the list is that just because you meet and hang out and enjoy people at the conference doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to rush to subscribe to your blog either. Get over it!
I hope you have a great time … I’ll be keeping up with the action from the twitter sidelines with a glass of wine in hand!
Excellent point, Angie. I found that, too. It’s a great thing to keep in mind.
BlogHer sounds absolutely exhausting. I’m still jealous that I’m not going, but a little relieved too, you know?
I’m sure it would be fun, but fun in like the First Day at a New School kind of way. Busy…stressful…a few thrilling moments…but mostly a day full of nervous stomach.
I read a post from someone (sorry, I suck at citing people) that advised bloggers to steer away from BlogHer and sign up for smaller conferences instead. Their argument was you’re more likely to really network and get to know people at a smaller, more intimate setting then the insane crowds at BlogHer.
I’m treating myself to Bloggy Boot Camp in Philly again in 2012 for $99, instead of $1,000 on BlogHer. I’m going to remember your GET OVER IT lines, though. The same truths apply, not matter how large the conference is!
I think you will love BBC as it is a great way to meet more people in a smaller setting. I for one would probably not be going to BlogHer unless almost my entire close blogging circle was also going. They’re my safety net
Fantastic Gigi!
I am not going to Blogher. I am only a little jealous as I will miss out on seeing friends and meeting some from the west coast that never seem to make it this far east. I won’t miss out on the overlaod and no sleep part! I just attended TypeAcon and abslolutely loved it, tried my best to get some rest and not stress out and ended up in the bed for a week with bronchitis. So, I will just live vicariously through all my friends who are brave enough to attend. Geesh, just reading about the parties is exhausting to me!
If you are going, remember this, as nervous as YOU may be, most everyone else feels just as nervous inside, they just aren’t showing it! If you are alone, just talk to people, we do this on twitter, right, walk up to perfect strangers and butt in?
Can’t wait to hear all about it!
Bernice
Using routines to become more productive
Great advice! Pretend you’re on Twitter. LOVE that. Love it, love it. I’m going to use it when I lose the nerve to talk to someone I’ve been wanting to meet! Thanks, Bernice!
It’s been overwhelming loooking at the #blogher11 stream on Twitter, I love posts like these. Thanks!
Love BOTH BlogHer posts Gigi! Even tho it is in my own backyard, I won’t be going either but I am going to hang on to this “Get Over It!” list if I ever do make it to a conference!
I hope you can join us at one sometime soon!
This post was great. I usually just barge in and talk to whoever the hell i want.
As a fairly huge blogger myself (hahaha) i must say that i never remember anybody i meet unless we’ve been drinking together.
So, just ENJOY yourself. That’s what i’m going to do. and also,
GET OVER IT! hahaha
Amen!
I am not going to BlogHer but if I was, I would print this, put it in my pocket and just get over myself.
What a great way to think about it…we’re all just PEOPLE…and we all come with expectations..Big or little. It’s a wonderful way to remember that.
YOU ROCK!
hope you can meet us all at a conference one day!
You know what…I went to a tiny blog conference in May and ALL of these things applied there too. I was just grateful for my smart phone at lunch when I sat at a table by myself and hoped people sat with me (they did), I talked to Big Bloggers and actually had drinks with them…but they are not my BFFs just because of it. And I felt Big and Small within 5 minutes.
This is how I expect BlogHer to be…but with more people and fancier parties.
I have been to BlogHer (once) and I agree–you could absolutely be a speaker. You are so right on all of your points–and especially on the get over it.
This is just the best. I hope all BlogHer / blog conference attendees read it.
Sage advice, Gigi!
Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Stumbling this too.
not sure what to expect at my first blogging conference. i suddenly feel like i should wear a shirt that says get over it and put everyone at ease. too much? eh, maybe.
Way to go Gigi! I especially love the points on the Big Blogger. We hope and pray they know who we are. That they will say, “oh my gosh, your post on the squirrels made me pee in my pants.”
But, it probably won’t happen and you are right to not have it make or break your experience. I hope you have a wonderful time at BlogHer11. I am coveting your memories already!
Hi! I know you from Twitter, and thought I’d read this post! It’s great! This BlogHer conference will be my very first conference. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to buy a whole new wardrobe and follow the big bloggers around!
Whew! I feel better!
I enjoyed the post!
Ok, so does this mean I wouldn’t have been following you around, had I been going? ‘Cause I really thought I was
So true! Love each of these!
My first BlogHer and trying not to set too many expectations. Great advice for conference newbie!
Love your post and sense of humor. I tend to feel the exact same way and can’t wait to experience this mayhem for the first time. I’m kicking it CA-casual style and not afraid to be un-fab. I hope to meet bloggers similar to me – down to earth and unaffected – and keep it low key.
Elle
Attending a blogging conferences forces us to use the tips we give our own children about social issues at school.
I was so nervous about BBC in Austin. I kept thinking… how would I advise my children in this situation?
It IS silly, but we all go through it. At the end of the day it just might be what keeps us grounded.
Agreed! No one cres what you wear. Everyone will be nice aNd your real blog buds will still talk to you and you will have a blast rather you are in your Twilight tshirt or not. I’m of the get-dressed-up-because-it’s-fun opinion myself. I don’t get to wear my dry clean only duds all that much at home so when I hit the conference circuit rather I’m in the audience, running a panel, or giving a speech I like to glam it up a bit! Look good, feel good that’s what I always say! Well, that’s what I say now anyway:)
Girl, you are so right! I think the first time I went to BBC, I worried about all of the wrong things. And, because of that, I didn’t have NEAR as good of a time as I could have.
I’m really hoping to make it to BBC in May since it’s in Dallas, but I plan on reshifting my focus quite a bit. I want to go and have FUN networking and meeting new people, not just spend my time fretting over things that don’t matter!
Hope to see you there, too!
In the mean time, have fun at Blog Her…so what are you wearing?!?! 
Thanks for slapping me out of my morning of self torture wondering why I don’t feel like, or want to, attend big blog conferences. The tweets and posts make you feel like everyone is at THE party and you are home with your hair in rollers and Mint Mask on your face. I love it that you were brave enough to say it.
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