It’s Wednesday again, which means it’s time for my second great guest poster in the Around the Bonfire series.
I had the pleasure of “meeting” Sili from My Mamihood on Twitter during our #winebuzz Twitter parties. And a few days before I was headed to Blissdom, Sili was trying to make last-minute plans to attend as well. She needed a room, and something told me to ask my friend Natalie if Sili could stay with us. Natalie was cool with it. I’m so glad she was, because we all became fast friends and I’m delighted to call Sili a friend – a very funny, smart, creative friend. She’s here today sharing a special prom story, around my bonfire.
My high school reunion is coming up this summer and I just want to sit around Kludgy Mom’s campfire and share something with you guys.
Mami is now gone but there’s the answer to one question that went with her to the grave. One thing that I’ve always wanted to know. Yes, I know who my real father is. No, I don’t think I’m the long lost princess of the Uruba tribe (I know I am). What I really want to know and what I really want to open up to you guys about is this: did mami set me up with a stripper for my prom?!
So let me give you the backstory. Some of my friends and I were supposed to go stag. Which was the thing to do back then. When we got back from spring break, my girl Jody (http://www.jodygall.com/) had found herself a sailor (back in the day when we had a base here). And little by little I started getting the feeling like I’d be the only one going on my own. Let me say that I did not mind. Apparently, I couldn’t say the same thing for my mami.
One day, about a week before prom, I got home from work and was told: “you have a date for the prom”. Squeeze me? Baking powder?
Mami informed me that she talked to her friend who had a son (that was 23!) and that he was open that day. He wanted us to meet in case I didn’t like him.
Why hadn’t I thought about it until Gigi asked me about writing this post? Why hadn’t I seen this? I figure out who the killer is in movies. I can pinpoint diseases with House-like precision. But there it was. Plain as day. And I’d missed it.
Ok so, I knew he “danced”. Hell, my mom went to see one of his shows! Please keep in mind I did not turn 18 until spring semester of my Freshman year so, I couldn’t go. I was set up ya’ll! My mama set me up!
We went to his mom’s house to meet him. He “happened” to have been in the shower. And when he came out, he “happened” to have been wearing the smallest regulation towel I had ever seen. There he was. All brown-skinned with long dark wet hair. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think there was a stallion tied up to the trees on the side of the house. I remember it all slow-motion like and possibly with background music. Like the male Pocahontas. And, was that baby oil on his skin?
He greeted me and after a little conversation asked me if he would do. Um, after asking him to borrow a towel to clean the drool that was trailing out of my mouth I said yes. And it was all set.
He picked me up in a rental car. Wearing white gloves.
We had a good time. He was super sweet and we actually stayed in touch afterwards. That night we all drove to the beach because I had this dream of going to prom and then watching the sunrise. I believe we slept through the sunrise. Though while I was sleeping, it is my understanding that he started talking with one of the girls that did go stag. I cannot divulge who it is and I cannot confirm anything but I think they got it goin’ on afterwards. Which was fine by me.
After prom, we hung out at my house a couple of times (much to my dad’s chagrin. He was not happy with this long-haired, earring wearing stripper hanging out with his daughter). I never thought that maybe, just maybe, mami had set it all up and paid for everything. But thinking back, I now wonder. And I’ll never know.
I think I blame the dress. I was in love with the red Pretty Woman dress. Most of you know what I’m talking about. I found a seamstress to duplicate the dress exactly! I felt beautiful (even though my makeup was a shade lighter – something I found out about when I went to put my make up on but, I digress).
My brother said: isn’t it funny that you went to prom with a stripper in an exact copy of a dress worn by a woman portraying a hooker? I didn’t see his point. I loved that dress! So much so that it’s still in my closet. I almost put it back on but I don’t own matching shoes or the long white gloves to complete the look so, I’m not wearing it right now.
I think the dress made everyone around me think I was some non-hookerish bookworm version of Julia Roberts and I was entitled to my knight in shining armor. Well, it worked out. Sorta.
I can’t wait for my high school reunion. But mostly, I’m so glad this happened because, 20 years later, I had the perfect material to send over to the awesometastic Kludgy Mom as a guest post. So mami, it’s all good! I can see you smiling in that club looking at all those nekkid mens by the way.
Am I the only one with a special prom story?