This will be especially great for newer bloggers who may not be as familiar with our weird bloggy nomenclature.If you’re a seasoned blogger, you might get a chuckle. Read it, use it, love it.
A Chick Blogger’s Dictionary [including bloggy words I hate]
Anonymous. A blogger’s most frequent readers; often leaves hateful, angst-ridden and contrarian comments.
Authentic. What every blogging expert tells you to be or else you risk being a dismal bloggy failure. [editor’s note: this is a bloggy word I hate.]
AdSense. A program you will think is your path to retirement, but that you discover after 3.7 seconds of blogging that it is not.
Blog Conference. An organized get together of mommies, who have shaved their legs and put something other than yoga pants on for the first time in 4 months, that have paid a lot of money to hear rich bloggers tell them how to be rich. And authentic.
Comments. The one thing you will always want more of, can’t leave enough of, and that will annoy you when they’re stupid. Which is often.
Daddy Blogger. A guy so assured of his manhood that he will listen to bored mommy bloggers talk about nipples, vaginas, puke and their periods all day long.
Edit. What some bloggers do not do enough of.
Followers. People who read your blog no matter how infrequently you post or how crappy your topic is. Also, people who just say they’re reading your blog because they wanted to win your giveaway.
Google. The evil empire. Mastermind behind the dreaded Blogger platform, Google Reader and Feedburner, most of which no one can get to work properly.
Hashtag. A new way of speaking and communicating so that people who aren’t on Twitter don’t understand you and think you are super cool.
Inspiration. What bloggers often lack and therefore, often seek. Easier to find when downing multiple adult beverages.
Jewelry. What most of us would accept in lieu of cash payment for work.
Love. Giving a shout-out to another blogger even when you don’t really want to, but feel like you have to.
Linky. Clickable post lists all on the same general topic, where only the first 3 listed bloggers get any traffic benefit whatsoever.
Monetize. What everyone is trying to do with their blog so their husbands will let them keep writing. Also, what no rich blogger will give you step-by-step instructions on how to do successfully. Other than be authentic.
Novel. What all the really good bloggers are writing.
Overload. The state of doing too much writing, blogging, reading, commenting, tweeting , Facebooking, networking, promoting, and pitching.
Plugins. The most amazing tools in the bloggy world. The reason that Blogger sucks and WordPress doesn’t.
Paragraphs. What many bloggers make too long or do not use enough of.
PR. People that can get some bloggers to do anything they want for far less than the blogger deserves. Also, other really classy people that recognize mommy bloggers’ value.
Quit. What most bloggers do in less than 6 months after they find out they can’t spend 2 hours a week blogging and make it into a business.
Reader. The arch-nemesis of all bloggers. The tool that lulls you into believing you can actually read the posts of 400 blogs every single day, then makes it very difficult for you to read the blogs you dislike, and NEVER says “no new items to read” for more than 9.7 seconds.
Sponsorship. Agreeing to be a walking infomercial for a business in exchange for cool stuff. Like money.
Swag. Stuff that you totally don’t need but take for free anyway.
Skype. The first thing you should never turn on when trying to get work done.
StumbleUpon. A social sharing site by which your friends recommend your blog to a network of readers, who will visit your blog once and then go back to reading weirder Internet material, such as how to make a sweater out of the hair your dog sheds. Not something you do after throwing back too many Cosmos at a blog conference after-party.
Tribe. A group of people who you can bitch to about other bloggers.
Twitter. The second thing you should never turn on when trying to get work done.
Unfollow. What people will do when you are annoying, conceited, self-interested or not that funny. Also, what people will do after your giveaway ends. Also, what you do and hope you don’t get busted.
Vet. A big exclusive fancy word for “find.” As in, the PR firm was vetting bloggers. [editor’s note: this is another word I hate. just use FIND, dammit. Normal people don’t say “masticate your food before swallowing,” so why say “vet” instead of “find?”]
X Factor. When you figure out what it is, let me know. And for the love of God, don’t say “be authentic.”
Yawning. What you spend all day doing after being up til 4 a.m. blogging.
Zen. A utopian state where you are completely at ease with all things blogging. May or may not exist.
Add your definitions as well!