A Chick Blogger’s Dictionary

by Gigi Ross on March 28, 2011

This will be especially great for newer bloggers who may not be as familiar with our weird bloggy nomenclature.If you’re a seasoned blogger, you might get a chuckle.  Read it, use it, love it.

blogging terms

A Chick Blogger’s Dictionary [including bloggy words I hate]

Anonymous. A blogger’s most frequent readers; often leaves hateful, angst-ridden and contrarian comments.

Authentic. What every blogging expert tells you to be or else you risk being a dismal bloggy failure. [editor’s note: this is a bloggy word I hate.]

AdSense. A program you will think is your path to retirement, but that you discover after 3.7 seconds of blogging that it is not.

Blog Conference. An organized get together of mommies, who have shaved their legs and put something other than yoga pants on for the first time in 4 months, that have paid a lot of money to hear rich bloggers tell them how to be rich. And authentic.

Comments. The one thing you will always want more of, can’t leave enough of, and that will annoy you when they’re stupid. Which is often.

Daddy Blogger. A guy so assured of his manhood that he will listen to bored mommy bloggers talk about nipples, vaginas, puke and their periods all day long.

Edit. What some bloggers do not do enough of.

Followers. People who read your blog no matter how infrequently you post or how crappy your topic is. Also, people who just say they’re reading your blog because they wanted to win your giveaway.

Google. The evil empire. Mastermind behind the dreaded Blogger platform, Google Reader and Feedburner, most of which no one can get to work properly.

Hashtag. A new way of speaking and communicating so that people who aren’t on Twitter don’t understand you and think you are super cool.

Inspiration. What bloggers often lack and therefore, often seek. Easier to find when downing multiple adult beverages.

Jewelry. What most of us would accept in lieu of cash payment for work.

Kids. Who?

Love. Giving a shout-out to another blogger even when you don’t really want to, but feel like you have to.

Linky. Clickable post lists all on the same general topic, where only the first 3 listed bloggers get any traffic benefit whatsoever.

Monetize. What everyone is trying to do with their blog so their husbands will let them keep writing. Also, what no rich blogger will give you step-by-step instructions on how to do successfully. Other than be authentic.

Novel. What all the really good bloggers are writing.

Overload. The state of doing too much writing, blogging, reading, commenting, tweeting , Facebooking, networking, promoting, and pitching.

Plugins. The most amazing tools in the bloggy world. The reason that Blogger sucks and WordPress doesn’t.

Paragraphs. What many bloggers make too long or do not use enough of.

PR. People that can get some bloggers to do anything they want for far less than the blogger deserves. Also, other really classy people that recognize mommy bloggers’ value.

Quit. What most bloggers do in less than 6 months after they find out they can’t spend 2 hours a week blogging and make it into a business.

Reader. The arch-nemesis of all bloggers. The tool that lulls you into believing you can actually read the posts of 400 blogs every single day, then makes it very difficult for you to read the blogs you dislike, and NEVER says “no new items to read” for more than 9.7 seconds.

Sponsorship. Agreeing to be a walking infomercial for a business in exchange for cool stuff. Like money.

Swag. Stuff that you totally don’t need but take for free anyway.

Skype. The first thing you should never turn on when trying to get work done.

StumbleUpon. A social sharing site by which your friends recommend your blog to a network of readers, who will visit your blog once and then go back to reading weirder Internet material, such as how to make a sweater out of the hair your dog sheds. Not something you do after throwing back too many Cosmos at a blog conference after-party.

Tribe. A group of people who you can bitch to about other bloggers.

Twitter. The second thing you should never turn on when trying to get work done.

Unfollow. What people will do when you are annoying, conceited, self-interested or not that funny. Also, what people will do after your giveaway ends. Also, what you do and hope you don’t get busted.

Vet. A big exclusive fancy word for “find.” As in, the PR firm was vetting bloggers. [editor’s note: this is another word I hate. just use FIND, dammit. Normal people don’t say “masticate your food before swallowing,” so why say “vet” instead of “find?”]

X Factor. When you figure out what it is, let me know. And for the love of God, don’t say “be authentic.”

Yawning. What you spend all day doing after being up til 4 a.m. blogging.

Zen. A utopian state where you are completely at ease with all things blogging. May or may not exist.

Add your definitions as well!


Carri March 28, 2011 at 7:42 pm

How about “tribe”? I didn’t know this was an actual blogging term until a week ago.

kludgymom March 28, 2011 at 8:00 pm

ah yes. I need to add this one!

Tiffany March 28, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Do followers actually unfollow you after a giveaway ends? I think it’s rude to unfollow, since it makes me sad when I lose some one that I couldn’t do that. I have actually unfollowed 3 peeps, 2 because they stopped writing posts and 1 because her content was well, um bad language.lots of it.

kludgymom March 28, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Yes, they do. sometimes. Not always, but sometimes.

Sharon at Momof6 March 28, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Oh I needed a good laugh tonight! Thank you! The best one is “blog conference”…. getting out of the yoga pants for the first time in 4 months to hear rich bloggers talk about being authentic!
I am headed to my first conference next month….. hmm… didn’t realize I needed to ditch the yoga pants! :)

kludgymom March 28, 2011 at 8:01 pm

are you going to Mom 2.0? If so, I’ll see you there! :)

Kmama March 28, 2011 at 7:57 pm

My favorite definition was for “unfollow.” You hit the nail on the head…especially about trying to unfollow without getting busted. LOL

SaucyB March 28, 2011 at 8:04 pm

This was priceless Gigi. Oh and also “authentic” lol 😉

SaucyB’s last blog… Make Me Laugh Monday

Shell March 28, 2011 at 8:06 pm

This? Is genius.

And authentic.

Oh, wait….

AmyBlam March 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm

What about trolls? Those sad little creatures who lurk under the internets, know more than anyone and criticize Bloggers who are doing what they can’t do.

Jules March 28, 2011 at 8:14 pm

These are so true. I’ve never heard some of these but I’ve never been to a blog conference to hear all these terms.

Maybe someday there will be one somewhat close to me so I can go….do I really have to leave the yoga pants behind?

By Word of Mouth Musings March 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm

No NOLA forme, hadn’t heard of it … so it will be longer til our IRL experience … in the meantime …
I will never unfollow you, no matter what you do or don’t giveaway
I have no intentions of writing a novel, most days I can’t write a blogpost
Currently, overload is my middle name, since I have seen you like EveryWhere of late, you burn this candle way better than I
Blogger remains my home, sadly my professionalism is lacking …
Right now I am watching a movie with my husband, can you tell how I am giving him my undivided attention 😉
Love it Gigi … can’t wait to meet you xxx

rhonda March 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Hilarious! This is a wonderful chick bloggers dictionary. I too needed the laugh. I wish I had something to add, but I think you got it all.

Brittany {Mommy Words} March 28, 2011 at 8:24 pm

You of the StumbleUpon weekly forgot Stumble?

Thanks for the giggle. It’s always fun to remember all thin things I had no clue about. Seriously had I known I may never have started :)

Man I’m tired…

kludgymom March 28, 2011 at 8:30 pm

adding Stumble now. Believe me, this could go on and on and on :)

Stasha March 28, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Blogspam. If you look it up in the dictionary, my blog’s name pops up. With the big word welcome! I started the blog so I can get some nice conversations going, but soon I will be forced to talk about fake designer bags, poker tips or benefits of vitamin B in Portuguese.

jamee @ A New Kind of Normal March 28, 2011 at 8:44 pm

This lis totally cracks me up! So true! How about adding pitch to the list? An offer to inclue 18756853 links in a post for the whopping payment of a dollar that have absolutely nothing to do with your blog and is always addressed “dear sir, I loved reading your blog…”

JDaniel4's Mom March 28, 2011 at 8:59 pm

This list is so wonderful! It contains so many truths.

Lynn March 28, 2011 at 9:20 pm

This is unbelievably awesome. I really needed this when I first started. How bout meme? I don’t know if it’s specific to blogging, but I had never heard the word until I started a blog.

Sherri March 28, 2011 at 9:57 pm

OK, there are a few there I know nothing about! And some that I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for smart techie-types like you, Gigi.

Kids? Oh crap, the kids…..

Natalie March 28, 2011 at 10:01 pm

This is soooo authentic Geeg! Thanks for sharing 😉

There is nothing else to say other than this is sheer genius, and will be included in my Monster Likes on Saturday.

Alexandra March 28, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Great job, Gigi.

This is your forte.

How about button or badge? I never what the heck peeps were talking about when they’d say, “grab my button.”


pauline March 28, 2011 at 10:06 pm

This is one of those posts that I read wishing I had written it. Hilarious!

Ginger March 28, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Ha! I love this!

Courtney K. March 28, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Loved this list! Seriously…who uses the word “vet?” What is that?

Broot March 29, 2011 at 12:41 am

How … authentic … er … um … I mean,

Yes! Exactly! I concur! :)

You need “elevator pitch” or whatever that thingy is. And meme. (Which I always want to pronounce Me!Me!)

Losing Brownies March 29, 2011 at 1:45 am

I’ve never heard of a few of those! Vetting, went right over my head. And who unfollows you after a giveaway. Rude.

Kelly March 29, 2011 at 3:46 am

Love this post!!

Never heard of vet…and Broot took my definition of meme! :)

Thanks for the laugh this morning (which is now reading 4:46am)…yikes- caught! :)

Amy March 29, 2011 at 4:27 am

I think people are misusing the word vet incorrectly in the blogging world if they’re using it to mean find.
” vet means ‘to appraise, verify, or check for accuracy, authenticity, etc.'”
Vetting definition

Amy March 29, 2011 at 4:29 am

Just saw the dreaded ‘a’ word up there. LOL

Lisa V. March 29, 2011 at 5:28 am

I just woke up and saw this – and then choked on my coffee because I was laughing so hard! Thanks for the chuckle. This was great!

Brandon March 29, 2011 at 7:47 am

HA HA! This is hilarious! I have to admit though, I saw Daddy Blogger and kind of winced for a second. Thanks for not ripping us apart, lol!

Great list. Very funny!

Dalia March 29, 2011 at 8:15 am

Love this! I didn’t even know half of this stuff! You always have a way to make things interesting. This should go in some blogging magazine somewhere!

Dalia March 29, 2011 at 8:17 am

How about gravatar/avatar – something I am trying to figure out right now!

Megan (Best of Fates) March 29, 2011 at 8:31 am

This is hilarious.

I love you.

Alisha Jaybird March 29, 2011 at 8:37 am

I seriously felt like I needed to take notes while I was reading your post. I had not heard of several of those, but seeing as I have evolved into the worst poster ever and should be booted from the blog world, that’s not surprising. The inspiration one cracked me up. That’s been one of my downfalls lately, no inspiration. Where adult drinks make me unconscious, my inspiration usually pops up while I’m submerged in the bath tub. I get blogging enough to actually DO it, but honestly, Twitter gets my goat and hashtags blow my mind.

And my baby bro is always harassing me when I mention my blog. He’s always sneering, saying, “You’re such a dork!”

TheKitchenWitch March 29, 2011 at 8:44 am

Helpful (and witty!) list there! Between you and Empress, I’m learning a lot today!

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him March 29, 2011 at 8:53 am

HOT DAMN, you did the WHOLE alphabet. You had me at nomenclature. I adore you.

I need to find those….what was the K word you used…oh, right. Kids.

Pop March 29, 2011 at 9:03 am

What a great list Gigi! The line between inspired and inebriated is hazy. And I’m glad you ladies allow me to bring the testosterone (a.k.a., the stupid) to your tribe every now and then.

Alissa March 29, 2011 at 9:09 am

Oh my gosh, love it! All such great accurate definitions.

Mariah March 29, 2011 at 9:12 am

I completely agree with everything on this list! Wow. I cannot believe I know these terms either. I did not even know how to login into Blogger a few years ago:) BUT you forgot NICHE. have been told to be authentic and find my Niche since day one. Years later, I am still Niche-less.

Luvs to you girl!

kludgymom March 29, 2011 at 9:59 am

Read my blog in a couple of days. :) that’s all I can say about that!

The Flying Chalupa March 29, 2011 at 9:13 am

Where was this two years ago when I started? Hilarious and honest. And I wish I had the guts to turn off the unfollow notification. It’s such a hurtful little device.

Veronica March 29, 2011 at 9:19 am

The Reader is my nemesis.

Great list of truths!

Nicole (Ninja Mom) March 29, 2011 at 9:20 am

Fantastic! Add “Parenting. What mommy bloggers do for new blog material.”

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points March 29, 2011 at 9:48 am

What scares me the most is not only did I know and understand every single one of those terms, but that I use them, often, out-loud and regularly without the filter that reminds me that the person to whom I am speaking does not know ANY of those words in the context I mean them.

Because in additional to learning this new vocabulary, my social skills have rapidly eroded.

*grunt scratch*

John March 29, 2011 at 9:48 am

I got so tired of getting called out for unfollowing that I just keep the people that I actually enjoy interacting with in their own Tweetdeck & private Twitter groups….I should grow some balls, but it makes from a drama-free timeline.

kludgymom March 29, 2011 at 10:00 am

I am all for unfollowing, actually! We all have to have a thicker skin and do what’s right for ourselves! What I don’t like is a disingenous follow in the first place.

Ilana March 29, 2011 at 10:03 am

Do you know I have never once looked at my reader? I’m sure it would make the blogs I like easier to keep track of and I do subscribe to a bunch but I’m a person who believes in aesthetics and the reader is UGLY.

And now I will hope you don’t think this comment is STUPID.

julie March 29, 2011 at 10:07 am

Masticate: The THIRD thing you should never do when trying to get work done.

(or you get crumbs in your keyboard…)

Lucky Dame March 29, 2011 at 11:26 am


Authentic wins hands-down. I’m so tired of hearing that.

Christina Simon March 29, 2011 at 11:27 am

I’d have to add “trolls” i.e. people who don’t read your blog, but are sent from another blog to attack you with mean comments.

Kimberly March 29, 2011 at 11:42 am

You should have added the “Dooce-ism”: The condition in which new bloggers think that they will be rich and famous like Dooce

tracy March 29, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Aw, something to print out and enclose in our holiday cards this year so my mother will finally understand me. LOVE!

AmyLynn March 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm

What is the word for this:

You are typing away on a post or commenting on someone else’s post when you find yourself unsure of how to spell a word you wanted to use, so you pick a different word so that you don’t risk misspelling it?

val March 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Ya know, I can never get enough of your posts!! You Rock.

Julia March 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Since it’s something I’m working on right now — how about favicon, that little thing in the address bar? Also, this is probably just me (and a little bit silly?) but I like to call followers and readers of my blog my “Bleeps,” like Tweeps.

Memoirs of a Single Dad March 29, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I am cracking up! I especially loved ‘authentic’ and ‘daddy blogger’.

I would add ‘Crazy Blog Reader’ – the label placed on co-workers that laugh out uncontrollably whilst reading funny blog posts (ie: ME!).

Kelley March 29, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Ha! Love this list! I think you need to add “fail” because j really only hear bloggers or tweeps use it. “Fail” means to make a big mistake, as in “Mommy Fail”. I know this was hard to figure out. I think I’ve used the word in that way once.

C.Mom March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

The other people waiting in the car dealership service lounge think I am loony because I kept giggling out loud while reading this! I think you need to submit these to Webster’s!

Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

I loved the comment on shaving our legs before a conference. So right on! As were all the definitions.

Sandra March 29, 2011 at 6:30 pm

I think you should try being more authentic. I do believe it’s the path to riches and enlightenment. 😛
As for unfollowing, I don’t ever unfollow…mainly because I can’t figure out Blogger and how to do that.
This post was excellent! Does it irritate you when I tell you that? ‘Cause I don’t want you to “unfollow” me because I am one of the self-absorbed bloggers who says vagina way too much…

Motpg March 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm

I’ m enjoying an authentic evil *snicker*.

Christina March 29, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Bahahaha! These are perfect Gigi, so funny!
I would have to add—>
Tipping Point: the time that either you become successful or you hide in the closet forever.

Ally March 29, 2011 at 9:12 pm

These are great. I was just laughing out loud and my son said, “Another funny blog?” Definitely. I loved the Linky definition. Well, I loved them all, but that was good.

Cheryl @ Mommypants March 29, 2011 at 10:39 pm

did you say niche?

Niche: what everyone says you have to find. and you do sometimes have that little niche on your back that you just can’t reach..


alexandria March 30, 2011 at 9:12 am

I want to add “I digress”

I digress- Over used phrased that just means “I have ADD”

Mrs. Jen B March 30, 2011 at 9:39 am

You’ve said it all, Gigi.

And I want to gag every time someone brings up being “authentic”. Like…we get it.

Laura March 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Great post and so true!!

Insane, yet functional March 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm

How dare you mock the authentic bloggers! You are obviously not authentic enough! I’m authenticious, and you’re not! Haha!

Seriously, great blog post.

Nicole Rivera March 30, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Love this, Gigi! So may of these are so spot-on. I feel like I should print this out and hang it in my office!!

Nicole Rivera March 31, 2011 at 10:48 am


Even though I read this post yesterday and it was fresh on my mind, I STILL made the mistake of opening up my Twitter account this morning!! (I have gotten next to nothing done).

I decided to use the tab I had open for twitter to come straight to this post to write this confession so I could get back to work!!


Kristl Story March 31, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Where was this list when I started blogging a year ago!!! Love it!

Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama March 31, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Man, I wish I read this post 3 months ago when I started blogging!


Sharon from Mama's Turn Now April 1, 2011 at 7:17 am

Okay I found you because of the UBP and I had to check it out to see if I was a Kludgy mom… yup I am. i have a 10 year old with Aspergers high functioning Autism so I have to be. Definitely make things up as I go. But that is fine with me. As a new Blogger I enjoyed your list. Very clever. I will be back and I invite you to check out my site as well and tell any other moms of special needs children to come on over as well! Thanks

Posh April 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Stopping by from the UBP to say hello.
Have a great day!

Cher April 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Love it! One day I will figure out the whole RSS reader!

Stopping by from the Ultimate Blog Party 2011!
Hope you’ll visit my party: http://momandmore.com/2011/04/2011-ultimate-blog-party-welcome-to-mom-and-more.html

Kasandria Reasoner April 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Stopping in from the UBP to say hi and now I totally have a girl crush on you lol. :) I promise I’m not a stalker though I’m just “authentic” 😉 Have a great weekend!

Shop with Me Mama (Kim) April 3, 2011 at 11:40 pm

LOL! Love this list :) I won’t say it is authentic though.. :) I run many giveaways, and it is so funny how many unfollow me the moment my giveaway has ended! Cracks me up.

Darcy April 4, 2011 at 11:48 pm

The evilest thing Google did was add the GFC followed blogs into my reader…I feel bad unsubbing but I can’t really read them all on a regular basis!

I also don’t recommend visiting Wikipedia when trying to get things done. Click. Click…click.. 3 hrs later…

Tina ~ tina gray dot me April 4, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Not sure how I just came about your site but I’m glad I did. LOVE this! Possibly your newest follower :)

Mimi April 5, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Absolutely hysterical! That’s an awesome list!

~the authentic Mimi *grin* #115 at the #ubp11

Karina April 5, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Hello! Lovely Blog, I loved reading your List :)! I’m stopping by from UBP11, I cant to read more..

I’m your newest follower,
Karina @http://karinaschallenge.blogspot.com

Madame Deals April 6, 2011 at 9:51 am

I am your newest fan from the Ultimate Blog Party 2011. I would really appreciate it if you follow me back through Google Connect Friend. I have a lot of contest going on Madame Deals. $25 amazon gift card, Vera Bradley purse, $100 in jewelry, 200 cut coupons, bare minerals gift pack, $30 for an organic outfit, $75 P&G products, and the chance to win $1000. Thank you Amee

Carolynn @mylittlebitoflife.com April 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm

What a cute list! Thanks!

Madame Deals April 8, 2011 at 7:09 am

I am now following your from the UBP 2011. I hope you will take the time to like me back. If you could also head to my site and enter to win my contest I would appreciate it ! http://madamedeals.com/blog/2011/04/01/contest-quick-link/

Life In A Pink Fibro June 1, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Love this! Found it on Stumble Upon (yes, I am one of the three people in the world who will comment on a site they found via SU). For the record, I despise the word ‘authentic’ – I find it’s thrown around by people who are anything but.

Denise July 2, 2011 at 9:43 pm

This is awesome! So funny and true.

Comments on this entry are closed.

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: