As some of you know, we moved back to Southern California about 6 months ago. The last time we lived here, we didn’t have children.
Upon coming back, I realized that there were some things that hadn’t changed about this place. But now, we have a different lens through which we see things here. A bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived lens that is the hallmark of a parent.
And it is through this lens that I ask,
WHERE IS THE PARENTAL SUPERVISION UP IN HERE????
One thing I stand pretty firm on is not letting my kids play outside in the front of the house without a parent being there. Let’s review the facts:
My kids are 8 1/2 and 6 1/2.
We do not live on a cul-de-sac.
Our street is often used as cut-through for harried moms flying down the road at high speed because they’re late dropping their kids off at the school, which is a block away.
We have TONS of cars on the street (this is California, where no one would waste a perfectly good garage on a car, when it can be a man cave, home gym, storage area, crash pad or sex dungeon).
We haven’t met many of the neighbors outside of our immediate ones, none of whom have children. (read: we have no friends on the block)
So unless my husband or I can play Vigilante Traffic Cop, my kids have to play in the backyard.
Which I’m cool with.
But what I’ve noticed is that my parenting practices don’t seem to be in keeping with the rest of the neighborhood.
Every day on the street, kids that are between the ages of 5 and 9 are playing on the sidewalks and streets, completely unsupervised. There isn’t even a whiff of a parent around. One child is turned loose in the early morning on Saturdays – he’s definitely no older than 7 – and he is out alone all day. Often, I see HIM supervising his younger siblings, one of whom is about 3 and can often be found toddling into the street until he pays enough attention to her to grab her and pull her back on the sidewalk.
Yes, yes, I know what the free rangers would say. So let’s assume that the rate of children being seriously injured in an accident or kidnapped has not gone up in the -ahem- 35 years since I was my son’s age. Let’s further assume that my children are responsible rule-followers (which they mostly are). We’ve been here 6 months and no kid’s been killed or kidnapped on the street yet, so what the heck am I worried about?
I’m still not going to let my kids play outside unsupervised. Why?
Because several things HAVE changed.
There are many, many more cars on the road than there were in the 70s. There are more lost souls running around – homeless, mentally ill – than there were back then. And most importantly, there are many more distractions now: cell phones, stereos, text messages, GPS units, all chattering at us while we’re trying to drive a car.
If we knew and trusted our neighbors, or we lived on a cul de sac, or other factors were different, I might not have the same steadfastness that I do.
Do I worry that I’m raising a couple of helpless children? A bit. Will I regret not letting them run more freely? Maybe.
I know the time is coming where I need to loosen the reins a bit, but my gut tells me not right now, not under these circumstances.
Helicopters hover. But so do hummingbirds. One is brash and noisy and creates dizzying chaos and confusion as it nears the earth. One is delicate and quiet and instinctively knows when to hover, and when to flitter away. Maybe there is such a thing as a helicopter parent. But I’m not one of them. I”m a hummingbird parent. And I’m ok with that connotation.
I am SUPER interested, for those of you that have kids over the age of 5, what level of supervision you place on your kids when they’re outside? It will give me a great bar by which to measure my own level of protectiveness.
Popularity: 3% [?]
{ 15 comments }
